Two guys are moving about in a grocery store when their carts collide. One says
to the other, “Excuse me, but I’m looking for my wife.”
“What a coincidence - so am I, and I’m getting a little desperate.”
“Well, maybe I can help you. What does your wife look like?”
“She’s tall, with dark hair, long legs, firm boobs, and a tight butt. What’s your wife look like?”
“Never mind, let’s look for yours!”
My wife gives good headache. - Rodney Dangerfield
Seek a wife in your own sphere. - Latin Proverb
Life is a relationship between molecules. - Linus Pauling
Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo
Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. - Oscar Wilde
The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde
My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. - John Barrymore
A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb
A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor. - Lucille Kallen
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle
A bachelor is one who enjoys the chase but does not eat the game. - Unknown
Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things. - Keanu Reeves
Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman
My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman
I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis
The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud
I love romance. I'm a sucker for it. I love it so much. It's pathetic. - Drew Barrymore
Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman
When my wife asked me to start a garden the first thing I dug up was an excuse. - Henny Youngman
If you treat your wife like a thoroughbred, you'll never end up with a nag. - Zig Ziglar
In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem
Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert
My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield
I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter
If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee. - Anne Bradstreet
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman
My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng
Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown
Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle
My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. - Milton Berle
No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed. - Godfrey Winn
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash
I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle
While some pain is probably inevitable in all relationships, successful couples are usually the ones who are able to forgive. - Ilona Boniwell
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
A problem occurs when people want the benefits of a relationship with God without the responsibilities of a relationship with God. - Jim Herring
One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst
This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon
Seek a wife in your own sphere. - Latin Proverb
Life is a relationship between molecules. - Linus Pauling
Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo
Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. - Oscar Wilde
The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde
My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. - John Barrymore
A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb
A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor. - Lucille Kallen
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle
A bachelor is one who enjoys the chase but does not eat the game. - Unknown
Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things. - Keanu Reeves
Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman
My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman
I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis
The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud
I love romance. I'm a sucker for it. I love it so much. It's pathetic. - Drew Barrymore
Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman
When my wife asked me to start a garden the first thing I dug up was an excuse. - Henny Youngman
If you treat your wife like a thoroughbred, you'll never end up with a nag. - Zig Ziglar
In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem
Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert
My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield
I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter
If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee. - Anne Bradstreet
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman
My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng
Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown
Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle
My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. - Milton Berle
No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed. - Godfrey Winn
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash
I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle
While some pain is probably inevitable in all relationships, successful couples are usually the ones who are able to forgive. - Ilona Boniwell
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
A problem occurs when people want the benefits of a relationship with God without the responsibilities of a relationship with God. - Jim Herring
One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst
This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon
see also Marriage Section
A Woman’s Mind
Amish Elevator View
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
iGifts
Looking Small
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman
 Frisbee Stopper |  Redneck Sushi |  Redneck's Lo-Tech Mobile Phone |  Downchuck |  Border Agent Alert |
 Cadillac Clearance |  Leading By Example |  Wired For Coffee |  Cadillac Bike |  Chip and Dip |
 Cat Couch Nap |  Redneck Trophy Fish |  Country Irony |  'None Of The Above' Election Option |  I've Got Your Back |
 Vintage Campers |  Great Minds of History |  But That Was Yesterday |  Trudeau's Top Fails |  Picture Of Me Getting Naked |
20-Sep-2021 |