Looking For Your Wife?

Finding your spouse while she’s shopping


Two guys are moving about in a grocery store when their carts collide. One says to the other, “Excuse me, but I’m looking for my wife.”

“What a coincidence - so am I, and I’m getting a little desperate.”

“Well, maybe I can help you. What does your wife look like?”

“She’s tall, with dark hair, long legs, firm boobs, and a tight butt. What’s your wife look like?”

“Never mind, let’s look for yours!”


QuotaBills
Take my wife - please! - Henny Youngman

Seek a wife in your own sphere. - Latin Proverb

Civilized humanical relationships - Archie Bunker

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

Grace: nutrient in the marriage garden - Phil Callaway

Romance is the icing, the love is the cake. - Unknown

Ideal Wife: Any woman who has an ideal husband - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. - Oscar Wilde

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. - Wayne Dyer

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

If you want to keep a secret, don't whisper in your wife's ear. - Amish Saying

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield

My best friend ran away with my wife. And let me tell you, I really miss him. - Henny Youngman

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

People who have good relationships at home are more effective in the marketplace. - Zig Ziglar

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee. - Anne Bradstreet

I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife), but still my own. - Si Robertson

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

As a man in a relationship, you have a simple choice: You can be right or you can be happy. - Ralphie May

Shady Character: A fellow who snoozes in a hammock under a tree while his wife mows the lawn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed. - Godfrey Winn

Romance is thinking about your significant other, when you are supposed to be thinking about something else. - Nicholas Sparks

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx


see also   Marriage  Section
A Woman’s Mind
Amish Elevator View
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
iGifts
Looking Small
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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20-Jan-2022