Two guys are moving about in a grocery store when their carts collide. One says
to the other, “Excuse me, but I’m looking for my wife.”
“What a coincidence - so am I, and I’m getting a little desperate.”
“Well, maybe I can help you. What does your wife look like?”
“She’s tall, with dark hair, long legs, firm boobs, and a tight butt. What’s your wife look like?”
“Never mind, let’s look for yours!”
Civilized humanical relationships - Archie Bunker
Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg
Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland
Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb
Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance. - Oscar Wilde
The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde
A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb
There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle
The antiques my wife buys at auctions are keeping me baroque. - Peter De Vries
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman
Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash
Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. - Wayne Dyer
Most women are afraid of clowns, but somehow end up still dating one. - Unknown
Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty
My best friend ran away with my wife. And let me tell you, I really miss him. - Henny Youngman
Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman
All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle
Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen
I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter
Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting, and of all relationships. - Jodie Foster
Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker
We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush
Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde
The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno
For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield
When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth". - Groucho Marx
The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge
For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield
The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. The quality of your business is no different. - Harvey Mackay
My wife simply quoted, 'For better or worse.' It was only then that I realized the phrase was not multiple-choice. - Michael Gurnow
Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde
One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw
Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg
Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland
Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb
Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance. - Oscar Wilde
The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde
A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb
There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle
The antiques my wife buys at auctions are keeping me baroque. - Peter De Vries
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman
Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash
Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. - Wayne Dyer
Most women are afraid of clowns, but somehow end up still dating one. - Unknown
Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty
My best friend ran away with my wife. And let me tell you, I really miss him. - Henny Youngman
Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman
All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle
Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen
I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter
Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting, and of all relationships. - Jodie Foster
Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker
We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush
Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde
The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno
For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield
When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth". - Groucho Marx
The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge
For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield
The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. The quality of your business is no different. - Harvey Mackay
My wife simply quoted, 'For better or worse.' It was only then that I realized the phrase was not multiple-choice. - Michael Gurnow
Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde
One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw
see also Marriage Section
A Woman’s Mind
Amish Elevator View
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
iGifts
Looking Small
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman
 Gift Shop for Stray Kids |  Darth VadeHer |  Submergible |  Today's Paper Read Yesterday |  Someone Is Upset |
 Texas Diet |  Moose Crossing |  Lost Meal |  Plane Oops! |  The Wheels of Life |
 Nerd Shaving |  Beethoven's Teacher |  Coke's Special Ingredients |  Weather Warning |  Freedom At Last |
 Ebola Can Be Eaten |  Open Face Sandwich |  Busted Politician |  Balanced Diet |  African Wheelbarrow |
03-Apr-2020 |