Looking For Your Wife?

Finding your spouse while she’s shopping


Two guys are moving about in a grocery store when their carts collide. One says to the other, “Excuse me, but I’m looking for my wife.”

“What a coincidence - so am I, and I’m getting a little desperate.”

“Well, maybe I can help you. What does your wife look like?”

“She’s tall, with dark hair, long legs, firm boobs, and a tight butt. What’s your wife look like?”

“Never mind, let’s look for yours!”


QuotaBills
Civilized humanical relationships - Archie Bunker

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance. - Oscar Wilde

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

The antiques my wife buys at auctions are keeping me baroque. - Peter De Vries

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. - Wayne Dyer

Most women are afraid of clowns, but somehow end up still dating one. - Unknown

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

My best friend ran away with my wife. And let me tell you, I really miss him. - Henny Youngman

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle

Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting, and of all relationships. - Jodie Foster

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth". - Groucho Marx

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. The quality of your business is no different. - Harvey Mackay

My wife simply quoted, 'For better or worse.' It was only then that I realized the phrase was not multiple-choice. - Michael Gurnow

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw


see also   Marriage  Section
A Woman’s Mind
Amish Elevator View
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
iGifts
Looking Small
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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Freedom At Last

Ebola Can Be Eaten

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Busted Politician

Balanced Diet

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03-Apr-2020