Two guys are moving about in a grocery store when their carts collide. One says
to the other, “Excuse me, but I’m looking for my wife.”
“What a coincidence - so am I, and I’m getting a little desperate.”
“Well, maybe I can help you. What does your wife look like?”
“She’s tall, with dark hair, long legs, firm boobs, and a tight butt. What’s your wife look like?”
“Never mind, let’s look for yours!”
Take my wife - please! - Henny Youngman
Seek a wife in your own sphere. - Latin Proverb
A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham
Relationships are like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown
There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld
I give unto my wife my second best bed, with the furniture. - William Shakespeare
The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington
My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield
A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx
I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud
I'm having trouble managing the mansion. What I need is a wife. - Ella Grasso
Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters
I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson
A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. - Andre Maurois
My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen
My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton
I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis
I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta
Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty
College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor
My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield
I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha
If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers
I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump
Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad's payroll - and on to his wife's - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. - Unknown
Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe
For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman
Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb
Pigeons are gentle and smart and have complex social relationships. Their hearing and vision are both excellent. - Ingrid Newkirk
While some pain is probably inevitable in all relationships, successful couples are usually the ones who are able to forgive. - Ilona Boniwell
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson
If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor
You don't develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity. - Epicurus
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx
Seek a wife in your own sphere. - Latin Proverb
A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham
Relationships are like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown
There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld
I give unto my wife my second best bed, with the furniture. - William Shakespeare
The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington
My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield
A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx
I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud
I'm having trouble managing the mansion. What I need is a wife. - Ella Grasso
Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters
I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson
A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. - Andre Maurois
My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen
My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton
I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis
I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta
Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty
College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor
My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield
I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha
If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers
I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump
Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad's payroll - and on to his wife's - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. - Unknown
Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe
For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman
Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb
Pigeons are gentle and smart and have complex social relationships. Their hearing and vision are both excellent. - Ingrid Newkirk
While some pain is probably inevitable in all relationships, successful couples are usually the ones who are able to forgive. - Ilona Boniwell
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson
If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor
You don't develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity. - Epicurus
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx
see also Marriage Section
A Woman’s Mind
Amish Elevator View
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
iGifts
Looking Small
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman
 Spanish Stairs |  TyrannoSnowRus Rex |  Hawaii Surfing |  Should Have Pulled Out |  Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait |
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 Young or Old Swimmer? |  Japanese Keyboard |  Baby Peephole |  Exit Not Found |  Cat Burglar |
 Foot Race |  2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars |  Lockdown Advice |  Wii Way |  Odor Detector |
22-Jan-2021 |