Looking For Your Wife?

Finding your spouse while she’s shopping


Two guys are moving about in a grocery store when their carts collide. One says to the other, “Excuse me, but I’m looking for my wife.”

“What a coincidence - so am I, and I’m getting a little desperate.”

“Well, maybe I can help you. What does your wife look like?”

“She’s tall, with dark hair, long legs, firm boobs, and a tight butt. What’s your wife look like?”

“Never mind, let’s look for yours!”


QuotaBills
Take my wife - please! - Henny Youngman

Seek a wife in your own sphere. - Latin Proverb

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Relationships are like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

I give unto my wife my second best bed, with the furniture. - William Shakespeare

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud

I'm having trouble managing the mansion. What I need is a wife. - Ella Grasso

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. - Andre Maurois

My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers

I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump

Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad's payroll - and on to his wife's - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. - Unknown

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

Pigeons are gentle and smart and have complex social relationships. Their hearing and vision are both excellent. - Ingrid Newkirk

While some pain is probably inevitable in all relationships, successful couples are usually the ones who are able to forgive. - Ilona Boniwell

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

You don't develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity. - Epicurus

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx


see also   Marriage  Section
A Woman’s Mind
Amish Elevator View
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
iGifts
Looking Small
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

Spanish Stairs

TyrannoSnowRus Rex

Hawaii Surfing

Should Have Pulled Out

Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Cooking For Guys

One Sushi Is Enough

Before Online Dating

Wood Trike

Crow Species

Young or Old Swimmer?

Japanese Keyboard

Baby Peephole

Exit Not Found

Cat Burglar

Foot Race

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Lockdown Advice

Wii Way

Odor Detector
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

22-Jan-2021