Two guys are moving about in a grocery store when their carts collide. One says
to the other, “Excuse me, but I’m looking for my wife.”
“What a coincidence - so am I, and I’m getting a little desperate.”
“Well, maybe I can help you. What does your wife look like?”
“She’s tall, with dark hair, long legs, firm boobs, and a tight butt. What’s your wife look like?”
“Never mind, let’s look for yours!”
Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg
No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying
Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. - Phyllis Diller
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde
My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. - John Barrymore
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Unknown
A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud
Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters
Most women are afraid of clowns, but somehow end up still dating one. - Unknown
My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen
My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton
There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown
Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor
Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone
The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield
In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough
Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen
A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck
Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle
Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan
Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante
A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci
It was partially my fault that we got divorced. I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. - Woody Allen
During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield
I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with 28 years ago. - Will Rogers
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha
Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno
Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain
Remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. - Unknown
Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton
No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying
Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. - Phyllis Diller
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde
My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. - John Barrymore
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Unknown
A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud
Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters
Most women are afraid of clowns, but somehow end up still dating one. - Unknown
My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen
My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton
There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown
Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor
Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone
The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield
In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough
Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen
A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck
Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle
Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan
Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante
A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci
It was partially my fault that we got divorced. I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. - Woody Allen
During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield
I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with 28 years ago. - Will Rogers
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha
Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno
Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain
Remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. - Unknown
Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton
see also Marriage Section
A Woman’s Mind
Amish Elevator View
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
iGifts
Looking Small
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman
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20-Feb-2020 |