Looking For Your Wife?

Finding your spouse while she’s shopping


Two guys are moving about in a grocery store when their carts collide. One says to the other, “Excuse me, but I’m looking for my wife.”

“What a coincidence - so am I, and I’m getting a little desperate.”

“Well, maybe I can help you. What does your wife look like?”

“She’s tall, with dark hair, long legs, firm boobs, and a tight butt. What’s your wife look like?”

“Never mind, let’s look for yours!”


QuotaBills
Seek a wife in your own sphere. - Latin Proverb

Marriage is the sunset of love. - French Proverb

Ideal Wife: Any woman who has an ideal husband - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Second Marriage: The triumph of hope over experience. - Samuel Johnson

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. - Phyllis Diller

The antiques my wife buys at auctions are keeping me baroque. - Peter De Vries

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman. - Oscar Wilde

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

Extravagance: Anything you buy that is of no earthly use to your wife - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The secrets of success are a good wife and a steady job. My wife told me. - Howard Nemerov

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

When my wife asked me to start a garden the first thing I dug up was an excuse. - Henny Youngman

Want to improve your relationships? See love as a verb rather than as a feeling. - Stephen R. Covey

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

Marriage is the harmony of God synchronizing two wills with the will of the Father. - Ravi Zacharias

Content builds relationships. Relationships are built on trust. Trust drives revenue. - Andrew Davis

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with 28 years ago. - Will Rogers

Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. - Helen Rowland

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Model Wife: One who, when she spades the garden, picks up the fish worms and saves them for her husband - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Romance is thinking about your significant other, when you are supposed to be thinking about something else. - Nicholas Sparks

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. - Ken Dodd

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

Fall: The season when your wife buys new winter clothes so she will have something to wear when she goes out shopping for spring outfits - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Forgiveness is the best form of love in any relationship. It takes a strong person to say they're sorry, and an even stronger person to forgive. - Yolanda Hadid


see also   Marriage  Section
A Woman’s Mind
Amish Elevator View
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
iGifts
Looking Small
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

Chubby Free

Pirrows

Young Rock Star

Restored Beauty

Powerplant Swimsuit Models

Watermelon Cake

Sharkini

Julyed

Filet Minion

Better Singer

Texas Basketball

Grow Food, Not Lawns

Nut Salesman

Long Yellow Things

Ants Know When Something Is Fake

Think Outside

Despicable Wood Stove

Engineering Flowchart

Egotist

Hunter's Dream Wedding
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

02-Jul-2022