Barry and Joe were sitting in a Mexican restaurant.
“Barry,” asked Joe, “are there any Jews in Mexico?”
“I don’t know,” Barry replied. “Why don’t we ask the waiter?”
When the waiter came by, Joe asked him, “Are there any Mexican Jews?”
“I don’t know, senor, let me ask,” the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen.
He returned in a few minutes and said, “No, sir. No Mexican Jews.”
“Are you sure?” Joe asked.
“I will check again, senor.” the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.
While he was gone, Barry said, “I cannot believe there are no Jews in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere.”
When the waiter returned he said, “Senor, no Mexican Jews.”
“Are you really sure?” Joe asked again. “I cannot believe there are no Mexican Jews.”
“Senor, I ask everyone,” the waiter replied, exasperated. “We have orange Jews, prune Jews, tomato Jews and grape Jews, but no one ever hear of Mexican Jews.”
Zombies hate fast food. - Unknown
It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse
The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb
There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw
Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb
Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Irish Proverb
Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown
Food is not just eating energy. It's an experience. - Guy Fieri
If I have one addiction in life, it's probably food. - Liam Hemsworth
Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'm not a Jew. I'm Jewish. I don't go the whole hog. - Jonathan Miller
Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day
I was so drunk, I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food. - Will Ferell
You cannot come to a Nigerian restaurant without having pepper soup. - Ben Okri
My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek
Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine
The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou
The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater
What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore
When I get a little money, I buy books. If any is left, I buy food and clothes. - Erasmus
We need more young people involved in farming because the future needs real food. - Helena Sylvester
On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes
Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye
If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. - JRR Tolkien
I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell
Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain
Food: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?" - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. - Socrates
I wouldn't pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands. - Bill Murray
America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown
If music be the food of love, play on, give me excess of it; that surfeiting, the appetite may sicken, and so die. - William Shakespeare
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
This is the real enemy, the invader from the East, the Druze, the ruffian, the oriental parasite; in a word: the Jew. - George Bernard Shaw
I went to a fancy French restaurant called "Deja Vu." The headwaiter said, "Don't I know you?" - Steven Wright
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. - Steven Wright
In Mexico, an air-conditioner is called a "politician" because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well. - Len Deighton
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields
How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton
I like a quiet evening with family or friends over, great food and great discussion, and a lot of laughter. That's really what fills my tank. - Anna Eshoo
It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse
The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb
There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw
Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb
Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Irish Proverb
Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown
Food is not just eating energy. It's an experience. - Guy Fieri
If I have one addiction in life, it's probably food. - Liam Hemsworth
Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'm not a Jew. I'm Jewish. I don't go the whole hog. - Jonathan Miller
Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day
I was so drunk, I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food. - Will Ferell
You cannot come to a Nigerian restaurant without having pepper soup. - Ben Okri
My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek
Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine
The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou
The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater
What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore
When I get a little money, I buy books. If any is left, I buy food and clothes. - Erasmus
We need more young people involved in farming because the future needs real food. - Helena Sylvester
On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes
Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye
If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. - JRR Tolkien
I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell
Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain
Food: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?" - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. - Socrates
I wouldn't pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands. - Bill Murray
America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown
If music be the food of love, play on, give me excess of it; that surfeiting, the appetite may sicken, and so die. - William Shakespeare
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
This is the real enemy, the invader from the East, the Druze, the ruffian, the oriental parasite; in a word: the Jew. - George Bernard Shaw
I went to a fancy French restaurant called "Deja Vu." The headwaiter said, "Don't I know you?" - Steven Wright
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. - Steven Wright
In Mexico, an air-conditioner is called a "politician" because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well. - Len Deighton
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields
How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton
I like a quiet evening with family or friends over, great food and great discussion, and a lot of laughter. That's really what fills my tank. - Anna Eshoo
see also Dining, Food & Political Sections
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26-Sep-2020 |