Barry and Joe were sitting in a Mexican restaurant.
“Barry,” asked Joe, “are there any Jews in Mexico?”
“I don’t know,” Barry replied. “Why don’t we ask the waiter?”
When the waiter came by, Joe asked him, “Are there any Mexican Jews?”
“I don’t know, senor, let me ask,” the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen.
He returned in a few minutes and said, “No, sir. No Mexican Jews.”
“Are you sure?” Joe asked.
“I will check again, senor.” the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.
While he was gone, Barry said, “I cannot believe there are no Jews in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere.”
When the waiter returned he said, “Senor, no Mexican Jews.”
“Are you really sure?” Joe asked again. “I cannot believe there are no Mexican Jews.”
“Senor, I ask everyone,” the waiter replied, exasperated. “We have orange Jews, prune Jews, tomato Jews and grape Jews, but no one ever hear of Mexican Jews.”
I hid myself in food. - Gordon Ramsay
Zombies hate fast food. - Unknown
Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey
She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson
Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan
Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb
I have a great relationship with the Mexican people. - Donald Trump
Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Wiener: The first to cross the line in a Mexican horse race - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I
Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day
Dubm Waiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I was so drunk, I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food. - Will Ferell
The soup is never hot enough if the waiter can keep his thumb in it. - William Collier
Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller
My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek
Grocerise: To sell off non-perishable food articles through eBeh channels - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin
Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme
I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where Sandwiches live. - Bill Murray
Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke
If life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it. - Unknown
Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz
If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher
I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper
Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. - Socrates
Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson
I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller
I wouldn't pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands. - Bill Murray
America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
Malenutrition: The practice of depriving a man from food for more than a couple of hours - or during a football game - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
This is the real enemy, the invader from the East, the Druze, the ruffian, the oriental parasite; in a word: the Jew. - George Bernard Shaw
Mexican, Mediterranean, Italian, sushi, I love it all. Put it on a plate, and as long as I know what it is, I will eat it. - Camren Bicondova
Every time you use the word 'healthy,' you lose. The key is to make yummy, delicious food that happens to be healthy. - Marcus Samuelsson
I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton
I like a quiet evening with family or friends over, great food and great discussion, and a lot of laughter. That's really what fills my tank. - Anna Eshoo
The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock
Zombies hate fast food. - Unknown
Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey
She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson
Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan
Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb
I have a great relationship with the Mexican people. - Donald Trump
Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Wiener: The first to cross the line in a Mexican horse race - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I
Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day
Dubm Waiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I was so drunk, I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food. - Will Ferell
The soup is never hot enough if the waiter can keep his thumb in it. - William Collier
Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller
My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek
Grocerise: To sell off non-perishable food articles through eBeh channels - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin
Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme
I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where Sandwiches live. - Bill Murray
Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke
If life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it. - Unknown
Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz
If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher
I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper
Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. - Socrates
Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson
I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller
I wouldn't pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands. - Bill Murray
America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
Malenutrition: The practice of depriving a man from food for more than a couple of hours - or during a football game - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
This is the real enemy, the invader from the East, the Druze, the ruffian, the oriental parasite; in a word: the Jew. - George Bernard Shaw
Mexican, Mediterranean, Italian, sushi, I love it all. Put it on a plate, and as long as I know what it is, I will eat it. - Camren Bicondova
Every time you use the word 'healthy,' you lose. The key is to make yummy, delicious food that happens to be healthy. - Marcus Samuelsson
I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton
I like a quiet evening with family or friends over, great food and great discussion, and a lot of laughter. That's really what fills my tank. - Anna Eshoo
The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock
see also Dining, Food & Political Sections
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 Vatican City's New Breakfast Special |  Flying Cathedral Excuse |  Day At The Beach |  John The Baptist Souvenirs |  Amish Prom Limo |
 Wishy-Washy Church |  'Cover Girl' Magazine |  One At A Time |  Shofar So Good |  Temple Car |
 Closing Time |  Wine Glass Lanyard |  Awning Truck Advertising |  Plugged In |  Org Chart - Simplified Version |
26-Jun-2022 |