A monastery in the English countryside was having a hard time with its cash flow because of the dwindling number of monks available to help with all the work.
Then one day two of the monks, who had been discussing the problem, suggested they open a fish and chips stand down on the highway, right next to a scenic vista area popular with tourists. The other monks agreed, and the two put up the stand.
One day a tourist who wanted to offer a compliment asked the monk on duty, “Are you the fish friar?”
“No, sir,” retorted the brother, “I’m the chip monk.”
Tea is a religion of the art of life. - Okakura Kakuzo
Religion is the opiate of the masses. - Karl Marx
There are plenty more fish in the sea. - English Proverb
Superstition is the religion of feeble minds. - Edmund Burke
You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin
Don't they get afraid, then?
They have a religion for that. - Ray Bradbury
Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. - Albert Einstein
Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing
There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it. - George Bernard Shaw
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields
A pretty good test of a man's religion is how it affects his pocketbook. - Francis James Grimke
Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain
The Bible does not give us a road map for life, but it does give us a compass. - Gordon S. Jackson
There's no better book with which to defend the Bible than the Bible itself. - Dwight L. Moody
To be religious is to have a life that flows with the presence of the extraordinary. - Ann Belford Ulanov
I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan
The church is close, but the road is icey. The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully. - Russian Proverb
Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau
The best way to knock the chip off your neighbor's shoulder is to pat him on the back. - Unknown
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal
Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner
He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain
Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb
The task of organized religion is not to prove that God was in the 1st century, but that he is in the 20th. - S.H. Miller
The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. - Havelock Ellis
I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo
I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison
Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain
Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in Church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. - Fred Allen
I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson
I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler
The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel
I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain
Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell
If you're wanting something salty, do air-popped popcorn. That, to me, would be a healthier choice than having any kind of fried chip. - Bob Harper
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell
I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker
Religion is the opiate of the masses. - Karl Marx
There are plenty more fish in the sea. - English Proverb
Superstition is the religion of feeble minds. - Edmund Burke
You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin
Don't they get afraid, then?
They have a religion for that. - Ray Bradbury
Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. - Albert Einstein
Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing
There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it. - George Bernard Shaw
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields
A pretty good test of a man's religion is how it affects his pocketbook. - Francis James Grimke
Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain
The Bible does not give us a road map for life, but it does give us a compass. - Gordon S. Jackson
There's no better book with which to defend the Bible than the Bible itself. - Dwight L. Moody
To be religious is to have a life that flows with the presence of the extraordinary. - Ann Belford Ulanov
I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan
The church is close, but the road is icey. The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully. - Russian Proverb
Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau
The best way to knock the chip off your neighbor's shoulder is to pat him on the back. - Unknown
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal
Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner
He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain
Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb
The task of organized religion is not to prove that God was in the 1st century, but that he is in the 20th. - S.H. Miller
The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. - Havelock Ellis
I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo
I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison
Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain
Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in Church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. - Fred Allen
I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson
I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler
The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel
I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain
Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell
If you're wanting something salty, do air-popped popcorn. That, to me, would be a healthier choice than having any kind of fried chip. - Bob Harper
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell
I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker
see also Christmas & Religious Sections
Celebate or Celebrate?
Chipwrecked
Friar Thumper
Gambling Chips
Greek Monk
Monk On A Rope
Monk’s Christmas Vow
Monk’s Story
Silent Monks Singing Hallelujah
Tiny Monks
 Boat Hurdles |  Bread Slice |  Steak Sale |  Take Away Food |  Creative Vandalism |
 History Doesn't Repeat Itself |  Flamingo Predator |  Irish Pub Restroom |  Like This |  Instant Engine Starting Down Under |
 DHL Express |  Bike Fence |  Small Bills |  UnderDog |  Pi Chart |
 Famous Equations |  Brick Road Laying in The Netherlands |  Cat Love |  Sawfish Sword |  Babysitter Dog |
16-Nov-2019 |