A monastery in the English countryside was having a hard time with its cash flow because of the dwindling number of monks available to help with all the work.
Then one day two of the monks, who had been discussing the problem, suggested they open a fish and chips stand down on the highway, right next to a scenic vista area popular with tourists. The other monks agreed, and the two put up the stand.
One day a tourist who wanted to offer a compliment asked the monk on duty, “Are you the fish friar?”
“No, sir,” retorted the brother, “I’m the chip monk.”
My true religion is Kindness. - Dalai Lama
Tea is a religion of the art of life. - Okakura Kakuzo
That Meathead calls me a religious phonetic. - Archie Bunker
The atheist religion don't believe in the bible. - Archie Bunker
The Bible tells us to forgive our enemies, not our friends. - Margot Asquith
My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams
Give me a couple of pages of the Bible, and I'll give you a picture. - Cecil B. DeMille
A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields
I see religion more as a truck stop on your way to figuring out who you are. - Brad Pitt
Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain
Church is the only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members. - William Temple
There's no better book with which to defend the Bible than the Bible itself. - Dwight L. Moody
My favourite characters in the Bible are King David, Delilah and Charlton Heston. - Milton Berle
In this religious order has flourished and is revitalized the order of Knighthood. - Knights Templar
To be religious is to have a life that flows with the presence of the extraordinary. - Ann Belford Ulanov
Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson
I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright
I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller
Governing a large country is like frying a small fish. You spoil it with too much poking. - Lao-Tzu
I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal
Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson
I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke
Let us build a church so great that those who come after us may thing us mad to have attempted it. - Unknown
He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis
If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain
Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns
An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten
The bulletin board on the lawn of a New Jersey Church reads "We reserve the right to accept everybody." - John Kazmark
Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain
It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand. - Mark Twain
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves
The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel
Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb
Every sort of energy and endurance, of courage and capacity for handling life's evils, is set free in those who have religious faith. - William James
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell
Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired. - Robert F. Kennedy
Tea is a religion of the art of life. - Okakura Kakuzo
That Meathead calls me a religious phonetic. - Archie Bunker
The atheist religion don't believe in the bible. - Archie Bunker
The Bible tells us to forgive our enemies, not our friends. - Margot Asquith
My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams
Give me a couple of pages of the Bible, and I'll give you a picture. - Cecil B. DeMille
A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields
I see religion more as a truck stop on your way to figuring out who you are. - Brad Pitt
Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain
Church is the only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members. - William Temple
There's no better book with which to defend the Bible than the Bible itself. - Dwight L. Moody
My favourite characters in the Bible are King David, Delilah and Charlton Heston. - Milton Berle
In this religious order has flourished and is revitalized the order of Knighthood. - Knights Templar
To be religious is to have a life that flows with the presence of the extraordinary. - Ann Belford Ulanov
Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson
I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright
I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller
Governing a large country is like frying a small fish. You spoil it with too much poking. - Lao-Tzu
I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal
Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson
I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke
Let us build a church so great that those who come after us may thing us mad to have attempted it. - Unknown
He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis
If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain
Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns
An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten
The bulletin board on the lawn of a New Jersey Church reads "We reserve the right to accept everybody." - John Kazmark
Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain
It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand. - Mark Twain
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves
The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel
Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb
Every sort of energy and endurance, of courage and capacity for handling life's evils, is set free in those who have religious faith. - William James
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell
Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired. - Robert F. Kennedy
see also Christmas & Religious Sections
Celebate or Celebrate?
Chipwrecked
Friar Thumper
Gambling Chips
Greek Monk
Monk On A Rope
Monk’s Christmas Vow
Monk’s Story
Silent Monks Singing Hallelujah
Tiny Monks
 Palm Sunday Social Distancing Service |  Pine Trees Know When It's Easter |  Beware Of Who Is Watching Over Your Church |  Handicap Ramp |  Kick Out Boxing |
 Patience and Wisdom |  Submarine Racing |  Dead Sea Burgers |  Sick Statue |  I Will Never Understand Fashion |
 Courtesy Option |  Ab Enhancer |  Family Planning Advice |  Cracks Me Up |  Anger Release Machine |
 Closing Time |  Beach Breakfast |  Bicycle Dining |  Shark Bike |  Thrilling Read |
05-Apr-2020 |