Monk’s Fish And Chip Stand

How to help cash flow problems at a monastery


A monastery in the English countryside was having a hard time with its cash flow because of the dwindling number of monks available to help with all the work.

Then one day two of the monks, who had been discussing the problem, suggested they open a fish and chips stand down on the highway, right next to a scenic vista area popular with tourists. The other monks agreed, and the two put up the stand.

One day a tourist who wanted to offer a compliment asked the monk on duty, “Are you the fish friar?”

“No, sir,” retorted the brother, “I’m the chip monk.”


QuotaBills
I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Religion is the opiate of the masses. - Karl Marx

Superstition is the religion of feeble minds. - Edmund Burke

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

The atheist religion don't believe in the bible. - Archie Bunker

Be patient and calm; no one can catch a fish with anger. - Herbert Hoover

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

If men are so wicked with religion, what would they be without it? - Benjamin Franklin

He's a well-balanced individual - he has a chip on each shoulder. - Unknown

To be born in India is to arrive into the world swimming in religion. - Ravi Zacharias

No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish. - John Ruskin

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry

Church is the only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members. - William Temple

I felt sorry for myself because I had no hands until I met a man who had no chips. - Kent Andersson

To be religious is to have a life that flows with the presence of the extraordinary. - Ann Belford Ulanov

The first time I sang in the Church choir, two hundred people changed their religion. - Fred Allen

We have just enough religion to make us hate but not enough to make us love one another. - Jonathan Swift

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

I don't see anywhere in the Bible where it says you shouldn't get breast implants. - Carrie Prejean

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

Men will wrangle for religion; write for it; fight for it; die for it; anything but live for it. - Charles Caleb Colton

Your daily life is your temple and your religion. Whenever you enter into it take with you your all. - Kahlil Gibran

If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

Going to Church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. - Billy Sunday

The Muslim world is threatened by religious fanaticism. The Western world is threatened by secular fanaticism. - Dennis Prager

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens. - Bill Murray

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman

The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Some keep the Sabbath going to Church
I keep it, staying at Home
With a Bobolink for a Chorister
And an Orchard for a Dome - Emily Dickinson

If you're wanting something salty, do air-popped popcorn. That, to me, would be a healthier choice than having any kind of fried chip. - Bob Harper

Make your own Bible. Select and collect all the words and sentences that in all your readings have been to you like the blast of a trumpet. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker

Only through repentance and faith in Christ can anyone be saved. No religious activity will be sufficient, only true faith in Jesus Christ alone. - Ravi Zacharias


see also   Christmas  &  Religious  Sections
Celebate or Celebrate?
Chipwrecked
Friar Thumper
Gambling Chips
Greek Monk
Monk On A Rope
Monk’s Christmas Vow
Monk’s Story
Silent Monks Singing Hallelujah
Tiny Monks

 

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01-Oct-2020