Butt Dust
Visiting Preacher’s rapturous sermon
What happens when you try to do something without God

A visiting minister decided to begin his sermon with an opening prayer.

“Dear Lord,” he began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, “Without you we are but dust...”

He would have continued, but at that moment a little girl leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, “Mommy, what is butt dust?”

Church was pretty much over at that point...


QuotaBills
Religion: a great perhaps. - Francois Rabelais

Religion is the opiate of the masses. - Karl Marx

Cantaloupe: Got to get married in Church - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The proverb answers where the sermon fails. - W.G. Simms

That Meathead calls me a religious phonetic. - Archie Bunker

Superstition is the religion of feeble minds. - Edmund Burke

Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. - The Book of Common Prayer

That great dust-heap called 'history'. - Augustine Birrell

Dust is a protective coating for fine furniture. - Mario Buatta

The church is the great lost-and-found department. - Robert Short

God did not intend religion to be an exercise club. - Naguib Mahfouz

Of all the bad men, religious bad men are the worst. - C S Lewis

Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. - Pablo Picasso

There is nothing more important than appearing to be religious. - Niccolo Machiavelli

No minister ever stood, or could stand, against public opinion. - Robert Peel

A rigorous religion can be conceived and nurtured in ignorance. - Ravi Zacharias

When your wife asks what's on TV, dust is not the right answer. - Unknown

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it. - George Bernard Shaw

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

Democracy is also a form of religion; it is the worship of jackals by jackasses. - H L Mencken

In this religious order has flourished and is revitalized the order of Knighthood. - Knights Templar

To be religious is to have a life that flows with the presence of the extraordinary. - Ann Belford Ulanov

When I give a minister an order, I leave it to him to find the means to carry it out. - Napoleon Bonaparte

The church is close, but the road is icey. The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully. - Russian Proverb

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust. - John Webster

I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham

Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

We ought to dance with rapture that we might be alive... and part of the living, incarnate cosmos. - D.H. Lawrence

If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

It was revealed in a government survey published today that the Prime Minister is doing the work of two men, Laurel and Hardy. - Ronnie Corbett

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

Every sort of energy and endurance, of courage and capacity for handling life's evils, is set free in those who have religious faith. - William James

Some keep the Sabbath going to Church
I keep it, staying at Home
With a Bobolink for a Chorister
And an Orchard for a Dome - Emily Dickinson

I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker

The hallmark of religion is to distrust claims made for mortal men. It is in ages of great religious faith that great skepticism can find expression. - Malcolm Muggeridge


see also   Religious  Section
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25-Oct-2020