Butt Dust
Visiting Preacher’s rapturous sermon
What happens when you try to do something without God

A visiting minister decided to begin his sermon with an opening prayer.

“Dear Lord,” he began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, “Without you we are but dust...”

He would have continued, but at that moment a little girl leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, “Mommy, what is butt dust?”

Church was pretty much over at that point...


QuotaBills
Man is incurably religious. - Ravi Zacharias

A good example is the best sermon. - Unknown

Religion is the opiate of the masses. - Karl Marx

When your dreams turn to dust, vacuum. - Desmond Tutu

Cantaloupe: Got to get married in Church - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Religion is the search for ultimate meaning. - Viktor Frankl

The church is the great lost-and-found department. - Robert Short

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Where God has his church, the Devil will have his chapel. - Spanish Proverb

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. - Berthold Auerbach

True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. - Louis Nizer

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. - Arnold Haultain

There is nothing more important than appearing to be religious. - Niccolo Machiavelli

When it is a matter of money, all men are of the same religion. - Voltaire

If men are so wicked with religion, what would they be without it? - Benjamin Franklin

No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon. - Mark Twain

Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. - Albert Einstein

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

Religion is the essence of culture, and culture is the dress of religion. - Paul Tillich

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

A pretty good test of a man's religion is how it affects his pocketbook. - Francis James Grimke

To love to preach is one thing; to love to whom you preach is quite another. - D. Martin Lloyd-Jones

There is a world of practical religion in simply being considerate of others. - Roger Babson

But from this earth, this grave, this dust, my God shall raise me up, I trust. - Walter Raleigh

The world is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion. - Thomas Paine

The fate of a nation has often depended upon the good or bad digestion of a prime minister. - Voltaire

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten

The Muslim world is threatened by religious fanaticism. The Western world is threatened by secular fanaticism. - Dennis Prager

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

It was revealed in a government survey published today that the Prime Minister is doing the work of two men, Laurel and Hardy. - Ronnie Corbett

Some preachers think only of their sermon; others think only of themselves: the man who wins the soul is the man who aims at it. - Dean Hook

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

Some keep the Sabbath going to Church
I keep it, staying at Home
With a Bobolink for a Chorister
And an Orchard for a Dome - Emily Dickinson

If a preacher is not first preaching to himself, better that he falls on the steps of the pulpit and breaks his neck than preaches that sermon. - John Calvin

Only through repentance and faith in Christ can anyone be saved. No religious activity will be sufficient, only true faith in Jesus Christ alone. - Ravi Zacharias

God is on the lookout today for a man who will be quiet enough to get a message from Him, brave enough to preach it, and honest enough to live it. - Vance Havner

The hallmark of religion is to distrust claims made for mortal men. It is in ages of great religious faith that great skepticism can find expression. - Malcolm Muggeridge


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30-Jun-2022