Butt Dust
Visiting Preacher’s rapturous sermon
What happens when you try to do something without God

A visiting minister decided to begin his sermon with an opening prayer.

“Dear Lord,” he began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, “Without you we are but dust...”

He would have continued, but at that moment a little girl leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, “Mommy, what is butt dust?”

Church was pretty much over at that point...


QuotaBills
Religion is the opiate of the masses. - Karl Marx

That Meathead calls me a religious phonetic. - Archie Bunker

That great dust-heap called 'history'. - Augustine Birrell

At my house, Dust is a noun, not a verb. - Unknown

Dust is a protective coating for fine furniture. - Mario Buatta

The church is the great lost-and-found department. - Robert Short

Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. - Pablo Picasso

Where God has his church, the Devil will have his chapel. - Spanish Proverb

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. - Berthold Auerbach

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. - Arnold Haultain

No minister ever stood, or could stand, against public opinion. - Robert Peel

A rigorous religion can be conceived and nurtured in ignorance. - Ravi Zacharias

For the man who prays in his heart, the whole world is a church. - Sylvain of Athos

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

When your wife asks what's on TV, dust is not the right answer. - Unknown

Don't they get afraid, then?
They have a religion for that. - Ray Bradbury

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

I see religion more as a truck stop on your way to figuring out who you are. - Brad Pitt

An idea can turn to dust or magic, depending on the talent that rubs against it. - Bill Bernbach

The first time I sang in the Church choir, two hundred people changed their religion. - Fred Allen

I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham

The fate of a nation has often depended upon the good or bad digestion of a prime minister. - Voltaire

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

We ought to dance with rapture that we might be alive... and part of the living, incarnate cosmos. - D.H. Lawrence

If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden

He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian - or Christ, for short. - Archie Bunker

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls in to line. - Lucille Ball

Going to Church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. - Billy Sunday

If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don't recommend Christianity. - C S Lewis

An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten

A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible. - George Burns

The bulletin board on the lawn of a New Jersey Church reads "We reserve the right to accept everybody." - John Kazmark

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

Audience laughter, when it's deserved, acts as a sort of fairy dust that makes funny moments not just funny, but joyous. - Graham Linehan

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

The test of a preacher is that his congregation goes away saying, not, 'What a lovely sermon!' but, 'I will do something!' - Billy Graham

I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker

Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired. - Robert F. Kennedy

Only through repentance and faith in Christ can anyone be saved. No religious activity will be sufficient, only true faith in Jesus Christ alone. - Ravi Zacharias


see also   Religious  Section
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Little White Lies @ the Ladies’ Bake Sale

 

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09-Aug-2020