Cleared to Land

Blessings to Saudi Air from Dallas ATC


Dallas ATC: “Tower to Saudi Air 911. You are cleared to land Eastbound on runway 9R.”

Saudi Air: “Thank you, Dallas ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on Infidel’s runway 9R. Allah Be Praised!”

Dallas ATC: “Tower to Iran Air 711. You are cleared to land Westbound on runway 9R.”

Iran Air: “Thank you, Dallas ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on Infidel’s runway 9R. Allah Is Great!”

Pause:   Static ...............

Saudi Air: “DALLAS ATC! DALLAS ATC!”

Dallas ATC: “Go ahead, Saudi Air 911.”

Saudi Air: “YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS! WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE! INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE!”

Dallas ATC: “Well bless your hearts. Y’all be careful now and tell Allah “hey” for us, ya hear?”


QuotaBills
Conference: Hot air on a high level. - Gerald Barzan

On wings of wind came flying all abroad. - Alexander Pope

It's opener there in the wide open air. - Dr. Seuss

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets

Do what is right, even if you're flying solo. - Unknown

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

Germany may have recovered a flying saucer as early as 1939. - Jimmy Doolittle

If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down. - Roy T Bennett

Only the two of us together flying high upon the wings of love. - Jeffrey Osborne

I think being a dragon would be pretty awesome... you get to fly. - Josh Keaton

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

If the lambs were flying, wolves would have also the wings to fly. - Mehmet M Ildan

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. - Steven Wright

All my life I thought air was free... until I bought a bag of chips. - Unknown

If God had intended us to fly, He would never have given us railways. - Michael Flanders

Our Air Corps reunion was held to rememmorate the great things we done. - Archie Bunker

And 'tis my faith, that every flower
Enjoys the air it breathes. - William Wordsworth

Matt would be fantastic for New York if the Jets were lucky enough to get him. - Donald Trump

With birds flying around, man's desire for having wings rises to infinite. - Mehmet M Ildan

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport. - Jonathan Winters

Birds with broken wings walking on the ground were once flying high up in the sky. - Mehmet M Ildan

It's OK to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation. - Rob Gilbert

Time passes too fast. Like a hummingbird flying by, it's just a blur to my eyes. - Amanda Leigh

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity. - G K Chesterton

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

Stop the words now. Open the window in the center of your chest and let the spirits fly in and out. - Rumi

Nothing can move a man who is paid by the hour; how sweet the flight of time seems to his calm mind. - Charles D Warner

I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau

Living as we do in an age of noise and bluster, success is now measured accordingly. We must all be seen, and heard, and on the air. - Daphne du Maurier

Southwest Airlines is successful because the company understands it's a customer service company. It also happens to be an airline. - Harvey Mackay

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

Like a prisoner awaiting his release, like a schoolboy when the end of term is near, like a migrant bird ready to fly south... I long to be gone. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Be like the bird that, passing on her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings. - Victor Hugo


see also   Air Traffic  Section
A Special Kind of Stupid
Smart Flight Attendant
Why We Live in Texas

 

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Mother Wrench's Gripping Story

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Propane Diving

Scuba Diving Sucks

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Parking Squeeze

Music Note Chairlift

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Reformed Buddhists

Redneck Mirror
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28-Oct-2020