Cleared to Land

Blessings to Saudi Air from Dallas ATC


Dallas ATC: “Tower to Saudi Air 911. You are cleared to land Eastbound on runway 9R.”

Saudi Air: “Thank you, Dallas ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on Infidel’s runway 9R. Allah Be Praised!”

Dallas ATC: “Tower to Iran Air 711. You are cleared to land Westbound on runway 9R.”

Iran Air: “Thank you, Dallas ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on Infidel’s runway 9R. Allah Is Great!”

Pause:   Static ...............

Saudi Air: “DALLAS ATC! DALLAS ATC!”

Dallas ATC: “Go ahead, Saudi Air 911.”

Saudi Air: “YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS! WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE! INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE!”

Dallas ATC: “Well bless your hearts. Y’all be careful now and tell Allah “hey” for us, ya hear?”


QuotaBills
Breathing dreams like air. - F Scott Fitzgerald

Private jets cost a lot of money. - Donald Trump

There is no flying without wings. - French Proverb

Owning a drone does not a pilot make. - Alex Morritt

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

You cannot fly like an eagle with the wings of a wren. - William Henry Hudson

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. - Mel Brooks

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us air tickets. - Mel Brooks

What air is to the body, to feel understood is to the heart. - Stephen Covey

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. - Al McGuire

The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

We laugh, we cry, we make time fly. We are best friends, my mom and I. - Unknown

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus. - Robin Williams

Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth. - Henry David Thoreau

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

My tent doesn't look like much but it is air-conditioned and has exceptional location. - Fennel Hudson

Lawyers are like foxes, small and innocuous, but all the time stealthily sniffing the air. - Michael O'Sullivan

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Caesar dreamed that he was flying above the clouds, and now that he was clasping the hand of Jupiter. - Suetonius

I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore

Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything. - Plato

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russell

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. - Henry Ford

Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know so it goes flying anyway. - Mary Kay Ash

The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie

Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa

With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff. - Rodney Dangerfield

Aim at the sun, and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself. - Joel Hawes

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard

From lessening negativity to boosting creativity, hiking in fresh air actually boosts brain power and can help certain parts of the brain grow. - Meredith Carey

Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground. - Jarod Kintz

Music is amoral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything. - Plato

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. - Rumi


see also   Air Traffic  Section
A Special Kind of Stupid
Smart Flight Attendant
Why We Live in Texas

 

Exactly Enough Space

Coca Cola Twins

Sidetracked Baby

Breakthrough Blessings

Pauper's Graveside Service

Are You Ready?

Pulling The Wool Over Your Eyes

Girlfriends

How To Weigh Yourself Correctly

Bungee Cord Suspenders

Clogged Drain

Lum-Purr-Jack

Cookie King

Time Travel

How To Hide Candy
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24-May-2020