Church Squirrels
How to deal with pesky squirrels

There were five country Churches in a small Texas town: Presbyterian, Baptist, Methodist, Catholic and Jewish. Each Church was overrun with pesky squirrels.

The Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration, they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.

In the Baptist Church, the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.

The Methodist Church, after much prayer, decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creation. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

The Catholic Church baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the Church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue, but they took one squirrel and had a short service with him called “circumcision”, and they haven’t seen a squirrel on the property since.



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07-Jul-2022