Hillary’s Baby

Running for President on a pregnant platform


Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she’s pregnant.

She is furious - here she is in the middle of her first run for president, and as Senator of New York this has happened to her.

She calls home, gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming. “How could you have let this happen? With all that’s going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! How could you? I can’t believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it is all your fault! Your fault! Well, what have you got to say?”

There is nothing but dead silence on the phone.

She screams again, “Did you hear me?”

Finally she hears Bill’s very, very quiet voice. In a barely audible whisper, he says, “Who is this?”


QuotaBills
All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

Under every stone lurks a politician. - Aristophanes

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

All government, of course, is against liberty. - H L Mencken

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

If men were angels, no government would be necessary. - James Madison

The art of government is the organization of idolatry. - George Bernard Shaw

The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars. - William Westmoreland

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. - H L Mencken

I believe that truth is the glue that holds government together. - Gerald R. Ford

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. - Edith Sitwell

A politician will do anything to keep his job - even become a patriot. - William Randolph

A politician is a man who approaches every problem with an open mouth. - Adlai Stevenson

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. - Mao Zedong

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

The politicians were talking themselves red, white and blue in the face. - Clare Boothe Luce

Bad politicians are sent to Washington by good people who don't vote. - William E. Simon

In politics, madame, you need two things: friends, but above all an enemy. - Brian Mulroney

Politics is the art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

A filmmaker we almost lost to politics... my friend and colleague, Warren Beatty. - Jack Nicholson

There are no crooked politicians in America. They've legalized their thievery. - Frank Dane

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. - George Bernard Shaw

Everyone wants to eat at the government's table, but nobody wants to do the dishes. - Werner Finck

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. - Doug Larson

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. - Nikita Khrushchev

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

Folks who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign. - Milton Berle

When government accepts responsibility for people, then people no longer take responsibility for themselves. - George Pataki

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you. - Pericles (430 B.C.)

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

Taxpayer - someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination. - Ronald Reagan

I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero. - George Carlin

Everyone has a skeleton in their closet. The difference between Bill Clinton and myself is that he has a walk-in closet. - Pat Buchanan

I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. - Ambrose Bierce

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg


see also   Political  &  Royalty  Sections
America’s Moment of Truth
Bucket of Hillary
Da Queen
Donald Trump White House
First Dog
Happy Scary Halloween
Hillarius Trump
Hillary Hairstyle
Hillary’s First Night As President
Redneck Politician
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07-Dec-2019