Hillary’s Baby

Running for President on a pregnant platform


Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she’s pregnant.

She is furious - here she is in the middle of her first run for president, and as Senator of New York this has happened to her.

She calls home, gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming. “How could you have let this happen? With all that’s going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! How could you? I can’t believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it is all your fault! Your fault! Well, what have you got to say?”

There is nothing but dead silence on the phone.

She screams again, “Did you hear me?”

Finally she hears Bill’s very, very quiet voice. In a barely audible whisper, he says, “Who is this?”


QuotaBills
All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. - Edward Langley

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

You can't get rich in politics unless you're a crook. - Harry S Truman

We have the best government in the world... that money can buy. - Mark Twain

Politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. - Charles de Gaulle

History is a tool used by politicians to justify their intentions. - Ted Koppei

An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. - Simon Cameron

A politician will do anything to keep his job - even become a patriot. - William Randolph

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. - Henry Kissinger

Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell

Government can't give us anything without depriving us of something else. - Henry Hazlitt

There are no crooked politicians in America. They've legalized their thievery. - Frank Dane

Either the government will be given to us or we shall seize it by marching on Rome. - Benito Mussolini

Everyone wants to eat at the government's table, but nobody wants to do the dishes. - Werner Finck

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government. - Woody Allen

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America. - Donald Trump

What is the first part of politics? Education. The second? Education. And the third? Education. - Jules Michelet

People want change but not too much change. Finding that balance is tricky for every politician. - Eleanor Clift

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

Politics: Poli, a Latin word meaning "many"; and tics, meaning "bloodsucking creatures." - Robin Williams

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

It is a win-win for the American people, an idea no conventional politician would have the guts to put forward. - Donald Trump

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero. - George Carlin

Politics is the only business where doing nothing other than making the other guy look bad is an acceptable outcome. - Mark Warner

The business of government is to keep the government out of business - that is, unless business needs government aid. - Will Rogers

I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

We're at a point in history where everyone needs to pay attention to politics. Too much is at stake for us to be apathetic. - Kevin Costner

Politicians also have no leisure, because they are always aiming at something beyond political life itself, power and glory, or happiness. - Aristotle

The politicians in Washington are spending trillions of dollars of our money. When are Americans going to stand up and say enough is enough? - Joe Wurzelbacher

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers


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03-Jun-2020