Hillary’s Baby

Running for President on a pregnant platform


Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she’s pregnant.

She is furious - here she is in the middle of her first run for president, and as Senator of New York this has happened to her.

She calls home, gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming. “How could you have let this happen? With all that’s going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! How could you? I can’t believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it is all your fault! Your fault! Well, what have you got to say?”

There is nothing but dead silence on the phone.

She screams again, “Did you hear me?”

Finally she hears Bill’s very, very quiet voice. In a barely audible whisper, he says, “Who is this?”


QuotaBills
A week is a long time in politics. - Harold Wilson

Politics is the art of the possible. - Otto von Bismarck

In politics nothing is contemptible. - Benjamin Disraeli

I am not a politician, but a soldier. - Idi Amin

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Guns have only two enemies - rust and politicians. - Unknown

If men were angels, no government would be necessary. - James Madison

Self-government won't work without self-discipline. - Paul Harvey

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. - Edward Langley

There can be no wise politics without thought beforehand. - Annie Besant

Dilemma: A politician trying to save both his faces at once - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. - Albert Einstein

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. - H L Mencken

Democracy becomes a government of bullies tempered by editors. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

World War II was the last government program that really worked. - George Will

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

The politicians were talking themselves red, white and blue in the face. - Clare Boothe Luce

Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell

Hillary Clinton is not going to be able to create jobs, I will tell you right now. - Donald Trump

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few. - George Bernard Shaw

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

What is the first part of politics? Education. The second? Education. And the third? Education. - Jules Michelet

One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace, good people don't go into government. - Donald Trump

Demagogue: A politician who can rock the boat and persuade everyone else that they're in a terrible storm - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We don't have inflation because we are living too well. We have it because government is living too well. - Ronald Reagan

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. - Jose Maria de Eca de Queiroz

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

Our whole constitutional heritage rebels at the thought of giving government the power to control men's minds. - Thurgood Marshall

Harold MacMillan is a very intelligent man, who, as so often happens in politics, achieved supreme power too late. - Malcolm Muggeridge

In politics it is necessary either to betray one's country or the electorate. I prefer to betray the electorate. - Charles de Gaulle

Physicians and politicians resemble one another in this respect, that some defend the constitution and others destroy it. - Unknown

It's especially hard if the government is not providing services, or is even conducting ethnic cleansing against you. - Paul Harvey

When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky

The workers' and peasants' government proposes to all warring peoples... negotiations leading to a just, democratic peace. - Lenin

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

Our future cannot depend on the government alone. The ultimate solutions lie in the attitudes and the actions of the American people. - Joe Biden

NEED now means wanting someone else's money. GREED means wanting to keep your own. COMPASSION is when a politician arranges the transfer. - Joseph Sobran


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30-Jun-2022