Rools Four Righters

If yore a groan reader, this is 4U & Jethro


 1.. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
 2.. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
 3.. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
 4.. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
 5.. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat)
 6.. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
 7.. Be more or less specific.
 8.. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
 9.. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10.. No sentence fragments.
11.. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12.. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13.. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14.. One should NEVER generalize.
15.. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
16.. Don’t use no double negatives.
17.. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18.. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19.. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20.. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21.. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22.. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23.. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24.. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25.. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
26.. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27.. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
28.. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole. Not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29.. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30.. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31.. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32.. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33.. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. And finally...
34.. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.


QuotaBills
By ancestry, I was born to rule. - Nelson Mandela

Is there another word for synonym? - George Carlin

What's another word for thesaurus? - Steven Wright

Nature provides exceptions to every rule. - Margaret Fuller

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

Rule No. 1 of life. Do what makes YOU happy. - Unknown

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

Appropriate rules cultivate a disciplined character. - Bill Welker

I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. - Mark Twain

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

I never had a set of rules. Every situation is different. - Red Auerbach

Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown

You're not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi. - Humphrey Bogart

Rules of society are nothing; one's conscience is the umpire. - Madame Dudevant

The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

The fewer rules a coach has, the fewer rules there are for players to break. - John Madden

The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary. - Arthur Schopenhauer

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false-face for the urge to rule it. - H L Mencken

The best rule of friendship is to keep your heart a little softer than your head. - Unknown

To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize. - Voltaire

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience. - Atticus Finch

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. - W Somerset Maugham

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw

The best rule of thumb for character is to remember that if you can't be big, don't belittle. - Unknown

If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty: "Who cares?" - Tina Fey

Things that aren't important, that have nothing to do with winning and losing, don't have to be a rule. - Peter Richmond

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway

Three rules of work: Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. - Albert Einstein

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Our ambition should be to rule ourselves, the true kingdom for each one of us; and true progress is to know more, and be more, and to do more. - Oscar Wilde

Good content should be at the heart of your strategy, but it is equally important to keep the display context of that content in mind as well. - Tim Frick

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas


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20-Nov-2019