Rools Four Righters

If yore a groan reader, this is 4U & Jethro


 1.. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
 2.. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
 3.. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
 4.. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
 5.. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat)
 6.. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
 7.. Be more or less specific.
 8.. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
 9.. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10.. No sentence fragments.
11.. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12.. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13.. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14.. One should NEVER generalize.
15.. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
16.. Don’t use no double negatives.
17.. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18.. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19.. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20.. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21.. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22.. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23.. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24.. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25.. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
26.. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27.. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
28.. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole. Not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29.. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30.. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31.. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32.. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33.. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. And finally...
34.. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.


QuotaBills
Monogamy: A synonym for monotony. - Gregory Nunn

Is there another word for synonym? - George Carlin

There's a deception to every rule. - Hal Luyah

Rules and regulations and priororities. - Archie Bunker

You want to invent new ideas, not new rules. - Dan Heath

Rule No. 1 of life. Do what makes YOU happy. - Unknown

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. - Henry David Thoreau

Ill can he rule the great that cannot reach the small. - Edmund Spenser

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can. - Will Rogers

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way. - Mark Twain

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts. - Paul Ehrlich

Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy. - Joseph Cambell

Changes in language often reflect the changing values of a culture. - Ravi Zacharias

Laughter is, after speech, the chief thing that holds society together. - Max Eastman

Wisdom is knowing when to speak your mind and when to mind your speech. - Evangel

The fewer rules a coach has, the fewer rules there are for players to break. - John Madden

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience. - Atticus Finch

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God's handwriting. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

In the places I go there are things that I see that I never could spell if I stopped with the Z. - Dr. Seuss

Give me a few lines of a man's handwriting; that will be sufficient for me to get him hanged. - Cardinal Richelieu

Knowledge is a deadly friend when no one sets the rules;
The fate of all mankind I see is in the hand of fools. - King Crimson

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway

Charity, good behaviour, amiable speech, unselfishness - these by the chief sage have been declared the elements of popularity. - Burmese Proverb

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

In composing, as a general rule, run your pen through every other word you have written; you have no idea what vigor it will give your style. - Sydney Smith

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill


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17-Jun-2021