Rools Four Righters

If yore a groan reader, this is 4U & Jethro


 1.. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
 2.. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
 3.. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
 4.. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
 5.. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat)
 6.. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
 7.. Be more or less specific.
 8.. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
 9.. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10.. No sentence fragments.
11.. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12.. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13.. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14.. One should NEVER generalize.
15.. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
16.. Don’t use no double negatives.
17.. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18.. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19.. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20.. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21.. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22.. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23.. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24.. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25.. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
26.. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27.. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
28.. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole. Not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29.. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30.. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31.. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32.. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33.. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. And finally...
34.. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.


QuotaBills
What's another word for thesaurus? - Steven Wright

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

There's a deception to every rule. - Hal Luyah

When passion rules, she never rules wisely. - Ben Franklin

You want to invent new ideas, not new rules. - Dan Heath

Rule No. 1 of life. Do what makes YOU happy. - Unknown

Good sayings are like pearls strung together. - Chinese Proverb

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

A story is told as much by silence as by speech. - Susan Griffin

I will not down to posterity talking bad grammar. - Benjamin Disraeli

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. - Mark Twain

Temptations come, as a general rule, when they are sought. - Margaret Oliphant

You're not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi. - Humphrey Bogart

Rules of society are nothing; one's conscience is the umpire. - Madame Dudevant

Retire? I can't spell the word. I'd play in a wheelchair. - Keith Richards

It is absurd that a man should rule others, who cannot rule himself. - Latin Proverb

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane. - Mark Twain

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

I want flowers, I don't want to text. What does that make me? What kind of dinosaur am I? - Jennifer Garner

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty: "Who cares?" - Tina Fey

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

If you must play, decide on three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time. - Chinese Proverb

A dinosaur out of context is like a character without a story. Worse than that, the character suffers from amnesia. - Jack Horner

Language, identity, place, home: these are all of a piece - just different elements of belonging and not-belonging. - Jhumpa Lahiri

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. I have a strict rule: I don't work on Halloween and I won't travel on Halloween. - Simon Sinek

As a rule man is a fool,
When it's hot he wants it cool,
When it's cool he wants it hot,
Always wanting what is not. - Unknown

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 percent probability you'll get it wrong. - Andy Rooney

Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son. - Darth Vader

Good content should be at the heart of your strategy, but it is equally important to keep the display context of that content in mind as well. - Tim Frick

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon


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09-Apr-2020