Rools Four Righters

If yore a groan reader, this is 4U & Jethro


 1.. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
 2.. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
 3.. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
 4.. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
 5.. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat)
 6.. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
 7.. Be more or less specific.
 8.. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
 9.. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10.. No sentence fragments.
11.. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12.. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13.. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14.. One should NEVER generalize.
15.. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
16.. Don’t use no double negatives.
17.. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18.. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19.. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20.. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21.. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22.. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23.. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24.. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25.. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
26.. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27.. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
28.. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole. Not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29.. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30.. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31.. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32.. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33.. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. And finally...
34.. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.


QuotaBills
By ancestry, I was born to rule. - Nelson Mandela

Is there another word for synonym? - George Carlin

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

Nature provides exceptions to every rule. - Margaret Fuller

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Synonym Bun: What a thesaurus eats for breakfast - Unknown

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates

Many people set rules to keep from making decisions. - Mike Krzyzewski

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

Experience shows that exceptions are as true as the rules. - Edith Ronald Mirrielees

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists. - C.F. Payne

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts. - Paul Ehrlich

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. - Mark Twain

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. - Mark Twain

Rules are made for people who aren't willing to make up their own. - Chuck Yeager

As a rule we disbelieve all the facts and theories for which we have no use. - William James

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw

If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty: "Who cares?" - Tina Fey

Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie

If you must play, decide on three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time. - Chinese Proverb

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Three rules of work: Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. - Albert Einstein

Charity, good behaviour, amiable speech, unselfishness - these by the chief sage have been declared the elements of popularity. - Burmese Proverb

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

It has been said that figures rule the world. Maybe. But I am sure that figures tell us whether it is being ruled well or badly. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Lord Francis Bacon

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas


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22-Jan-2020