Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fainted when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in Church in his life.
After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and said, “Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass, what made ya come?”
Murphy said, “I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like me hat, and I knew that McGlynn comes to Church every Sunday. I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of Church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn’s hat.”
The priest said, “Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn’t steal McGlynn’s hat. What changed your mind?”
Murphy said, “Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn’t need to steal McGlynn’s hat after all.”
The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, “After I talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ ya decided you would rather do without the hat than burn in Hell, right?”
Murphy slowly shook his head and said, “No, Father, after ya talked about ’Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery’, I remembered where I left me hat.”
I'm just a true Irish boy at heart. - Colin Farrell
The Danes and the Irish have a great simpatico. - Pierce Brosnan
I come from a long line of staunch Irish Catholics. - Robert Vaughn
I have a thing for red-haired Irish boys, as we know. - Sandra Bullock
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler
The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried. - Unknown
God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown
Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett
Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof
The Irish are a very fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Unknown
I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
We Irish will never achieve anything; but we are the greatest talkers since the Greeks. - Oscar Wilde
I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly
The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood
I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke
I'm Irish. That means I'm Catholic. But, truth is, now I'm a retired Christian. - Peter O'Toole
The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill. - Harold Nicolson
Irish boomerang: It doesn't come back, it just sings sad songs about how much it wants to. - Unknown
I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams
I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery
Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson
Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle
Definition of an Irish fact: That which tells you not what is the case but what you want to hear. - Hugh Kenner
I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan
In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
I have Dementia
My responses may be slow.
Take your time and wait for me,
It means more than you can know! - Unknown
The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton
Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats
For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor
Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt
I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch
When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown
It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody. - Brendan Behan
With such riches as I have in life, you're always nervous. Being Irish, you're waiting for something to knock it sideways. - Pierce Brosnan
That's what the holidays are for - for one person to tell the stories and another to dispute them. Isn't that the Irish way? - Lara Flynn Boyle
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?",
New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt
The Danes and the Irish have a great simpatico. - Pierce Brosnan
I come from a long line of staunch Irish Catholics. - Robert Vaughn
I have a thing for red-haired Irish boys, as we know. - Sandra Bullock
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler
The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried. - Unknown
God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown
Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett
Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof
The Irish are a very fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Unknown
I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
We Irish will never achieve anything; but we are the greatest talkers since the Greeks. - Oscar Wilde
I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly
The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood
I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke
I'm Irish. That means I'm Catholic. But, truth is, now I'm a retired Christian. - Peter O'Toole
The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill. - Harold Nicolson
Irish boomerang: It doesn't come back, it just sings sad songs about how much it wants to. - Unknown
I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams
I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery
Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson
Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle
Definition of an Irish fact: That which tells you not what is the case but what you want to hear. - Hugh Kenner
I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan
In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
I have Dementia
My responses may be slow.
Take your time and wait for me,
It means more than you can know! - Unknown
The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton
Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats
For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor
Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt
I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch
When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown
It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody. - Brendan Behan
With such riches as I have in life, you're always nervous. Being Irish, you're waiting for something to knock it sideways. - Pierce Brosnan
That's what the holidays are for - for one person to tell the stories and another to dispute them. Isn't that the Irish way? - Lara Flynn Boyle
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?",
New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt
see also Nationality & Religious Sections
Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s?
Alzheimer’s Wing
Corn Maze For Old People
Manitoba Health Care's Test For Alzheimer's
You Never Call
Flooded Ireland Streets
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Bar
Irish Birth Control
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Diplomacy
Irish Dock Overboard Oh-Nos
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Handcuffs
Irish Rugby Fans
Irish School Demolition
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Sunblock
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
Irish Yoga - Day 1
Irishman’s First Baseball Game
Little Leprechaun
Queen’s Recent Visit to Ireland
Rainbow Beer
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
St. Patrick’s Dog
St. Patrick’s Pot of Gold
Swimming Buddies
Teddy Bear Dance
The Fert
What’s Under The Kilt?
Whiskey Around The World
Whiskey Silly
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22-Jan-2021 |