Irish Alzheimers

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fainted when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in Church in his life. After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and said, “Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass, what made ya come?” Murphy said, “I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like me hat, and I knew that McGlynn comes to Church every Sunday. I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of Church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn’s hat.” The priest said, “Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn’t steal McGlynn’s hat. What changed your mind?” Murphy said, “Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn’t need to steal McGlynn’s hat after all.” The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, “After I talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ ya decided you would rather do without the hat than burn in Hell, right?” Murphy slowly shook his head and said, “No, Father, after ya talked about ’Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery’, I remembered where I left me hat.” QuotaBills I am very proud to be Irish. - Philip Treacy I'm Irish. We think sideways. - Spike Milligan Paddy O Furniture: Irish lawn chairs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh There are not many Irish people playing tennis. - Goran Ivanisevic The Danes and the Irish have a great simpatico. - Pierce Brosnan I come from a long line of staunch Irish Catholics. - Robert Vaughn Our Irish blunders are never blunders of the heart. - Maria Edgeworth My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch. - James Boswell If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. - Brendan Behan Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler My Irish derivation has nothing to do with me. Why should it? - Carroll O'Connor There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried. - Unknown God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw I had an Irish Catholic education. Horrible nuns, vindictive and cruel. - John Lydon Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me. - Colin Farrell What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart? - Unknown Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono There are only two kinds of people in the world: the Irish and those who wish they were. - Irish Saying I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. - Oliver Herford I have Dementia My responses may be slow. Take your time and wait for me, It means more than you can know! - Unknown The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad. For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?", New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt see also   Nationality  &  Religious  Sections Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s? Alzheimer’s Wing Corn Maze For Old People Manitoba Health Care's Test For Alzheimer's You Never Call Flooded Ireland Streets Going Green for Ireland Green Beards Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey! Irish Bar Irish Birth Control Irish Blessings and Sayings Irish Diplomacy Irish Dock Overboard Oh-Nos Irish Drink Irish Exam Irish Flood Irish Handcuffs Irish Rugby Fans Irish School Demolition Irish Sky Garden Crater Irish Sunblock Irish Virgin Irish Weather Forecasting Irish Yoga - Day 1 Irishman’s First Baseball Game Little Leprechaun Queen’s Recent Visit to Ireland Rainbow Beer St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks St. Patrick’s Day Riddles St. Patrick’s Dog St. Patrick’s Pot of Gold Swimming Buddies Teddy Bear Dance The Fert What’s Under The Kilt? 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03-Jul-2020