Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fainted when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in Church in his life.
After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and said, “Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass, what made ya come?”
Murphy said, “I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like me hat, and I knew that McGlynn comes to Church every Sunday. I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of Church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn’s hat.”
The priest said, “Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn’t steal McGlynn’s hat. What changed your mind?”
Murphy said, “Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn’t need to steal McGlynn’s hat after all.”
The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, “After I talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ ya decided you would rather do without the hat than burn in Hell, right?”
Murphy slowly shook his head and said, “No, Father, after ya talked about ’Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery’, I remembered where I left me hat.”
I am very proud to be Irish. - Philip Treacy
I'm Irish. We think sideways. - Spike Milligan
To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy
Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce
When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh
Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh
My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong
Yelling Irish, you can sound like an angry Leprechaun. - Norman Reedus
I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford
The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch. - James Boswell
I'm an Irish Catholic and I have a long iceberg of guilt. - Edna O'Brien
There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge
The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried. - Unknown
Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett
The Irish are a fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Samuel Johnson
In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown
Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof
I've heard some duff Irish accents. The worst must be Mickey Rourke. - James Nesbitt
Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. - Brendan Behan
Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me. - Colin Farrell
The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson
If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit
My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey
We Irish will never achieve anything; but we are the greatest talkers since the Greeks. - Oscar Wilde
I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader
There are only two kinds of people in the world: the Irish and those who wish they were. - Irish Saying
The Irish are the only men who know how to cry for the dirty polluted blood of all the world. - Norman Mailer
Irish boomerang: It doesn't come back, it just sings sad songs about how much it wants to. - Unknown
I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams
Definition of an Irish fact: That which tells you not what is the case but what you want to hear. - Hugh Kenner
I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan
I think I'm going to keep my Irish accent forever now in any movie I make, because chicks dig it. - Chris O'Dowd
I'm Irish on St. Patrick's Day. I'm Italian on Columbus Day. I'm a New Yorker every day. - Tamara Tunie
"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift
I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry
I'm a big fan of the Irish accent. After a couple of drinks, I start to get a bit of an Irish lilt, too. - Emily Ratajkowski
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor
Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?",
New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt
see also Nationality & Religious Sections
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28-May-2022 |