Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fainted when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in Church in his life.
After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and said, “Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass, what made ya come?”
Murphy said, “I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like me hat, and I knew that McGlynn comes to Church every Sunday. I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of Church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn’s hat.”
The priest said, “Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn’t steal McGlynn’s hat. What changed your mind?”
Murphy said, “Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn’t need to steal McGlynn’s hat after all.”
The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, “After I talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ ya decided you would rather do without the hat than burn in Hell, right?”
Murphy slowly shook his head and said, “No, Father, after ya talked about ’Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery’, I remembered where I left me hat.”
I'm just a true Irish boy at heart. - Colin Farrell
To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy
Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce
When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh
Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh
There are not many Irish people playing tennis. - Goran Ivanisevic
The Danes and the Irish have a great simpatico. - Pierce Brosnan
My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong
An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy
I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian. I can't faint. - Lynn Collins
Yelling Irish, you can sound like an angry Leprechaun. - Norman Reedus
Where would the Irish be without someone to be Irish at? - Elizabeth Bowen
I've had Irish skin from the time I was a young girl. - Lara Flynn Boyle
The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery
I'm an Irish Catholic and I have a long iceberg of guilt. - Edna O'Brien
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
The Irish are a fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Samuel Johnson
We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill
Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty
I've heard some duff Irish accents. The worst must be Mickey Rourke. - James Nesbitt
Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. - Brendan Behan
The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers
I'm Irish. That means I'm Catholic. But, truth is, now I'm a retired Christian. - Peter O'Toole
Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse
The dementia patient is not giving you a hard time. The dementia patient is having a hard time. - Kerry Kleinbergen
I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery
Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson
I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley
"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift
I think Paul McGuinness and U2 created the Irish music industry. It certainly wasn't there before that. - Van Morrison
That's the Irish people all over - they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke. - Sean O'Casey
The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson
May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings
We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono
I have Dementia
My responses may be slow.
Take your time and wait for me,
It means more than you can know! - Unknown
When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown
That's what the holidays are for - for one person to tell the stories and another to dispute them. Isn't that the Irish way? - Lara Flynn Boyle
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?",
New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt
see also Nationality & Religious Sections
Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s?
Alzheimer’s Wing
Corn Maze For Old People
Manitoba Health Care's Test For Alzheimer's
You Never Call
Flooded Ireland Streets
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Bar
Irish Birth Control
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Diplomacy
Irish Dock Overboard Oh-Nos
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Handcuffs
Irish Rugby Fans
Irish School Demolition
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Sunblock
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
Irish Yoga - Day 1
Irishman’s First Baseball Game
Little Leprechaun
Queen’s Recent Visit to Ireland
Rainbow Beer
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
St. Patrick’s Dog
St. Patrick’s Pot of Gold
Swimming Buddies
Teddy Bear Dance
The Fert
What’s Under The Kilt?
Whiskey Around The World
Whiskey Silly
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30-Sep-2020 |