Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fainted when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in Church in his life.
After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and said, “Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass, what made ya come?”
Murphy said, “I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like me hat, and I knew that McGlynn comes to Church every Sunday. I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of Church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn’s hat.”
The priest said, “Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn’t steal McGlynn’s hat. What changed your mind?”
Murphy said, “Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn’t need to steal McGlynn’s hat after all.”
The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, “After I talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ ya decided you would rather do without the hat than burn in Hell, right?”
Murphy slowly shook his head and said, “No, Father, after ya talked about ’Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery’, I remembered where I left me hat.”
No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley
I am very proud to be Irish. - Philip Treacy
Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh
I come from a long line of staunch Irish Catholics. - Robert Vaughn
I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford
I've had Irish skin from the time I was a young girl. - Lara Flynn Boyle
Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part. - Irish Blessings
If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. - Brendan Behan
The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown
We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill
I had an Irish Catholic education. Horrible nuns, vindictive and cruel. - John Lydon
Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty
I've heard some duff Irish accents. The worst must be Mickey Rourke. - James Nesbitt
I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy
Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead
I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe
We Irish will never achieve anything; but we are the greatest talkers since the Greeks. - Oscar Wilde
There are only two kinds of people in the world: the Irish and those who wish they were. - Irish Saying
The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill. - Harold Nicolson
Irish boomerang: It doesn't come back, it just sings sad songs about how much it wants to. - Unknown
Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson
Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle
I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley
I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan
I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon
I'm Irish on St. Patrick's Day. I'm Italian on Columbus Day. I'm a New Yorker every day. - Tamara Tunie
I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris
The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
As I told Piers Morgan, 'Catholics have confession, whereas Northern Irish Protestants only have interviews.' - James Nesbitt
We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono
Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats
Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt
I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson
Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien
I am very proud to be Irish. - Philip Treacy
Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh
I come from a long line of staunch Irish Catholics. - Robert Vaughn
I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford
I've had Irish skin from the time I was a young girl. - Lara Flynn Boyle
Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part. - Irish Blessings
If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. - Brendan Behan
The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown
We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill
I had an Irish Catholic education. Horrible nuns, vindictive and cruel. - John Lydon
Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty
I've heard some duff Irish accents. The worst must be Mickey Rourke. - James Nesbitt
I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy
Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead
I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe
We Irish will never achieve anything; but we are the greatest talkers since the Greeks. - Oscar Wilde
There are only two kinds of people in the world: the Irish and those who wish they were. - Irish Saying
The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill. - Harold Nicolson
Irish boomerang: It doesn't come back, it just sings sad songs about how much it wants to. - Unknown
Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson
Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle
I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley
I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan
I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon
I'm Irish on St. Patrick's Day. I'm Italian on Columbus Day. I'm a New Yorker every day. - Tamara Tunie
I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris
The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
As I told Piers Morgan, 'Catholics have confession, whereas Northern Irish Protestants only have interviews.' - James Nesbitt
We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono
Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats
Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt
I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson
Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien
see also Nationality & Religious Sections
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07-Apr-2020 |