Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fainted when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in Church in his life.
After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and said, “Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass, what made ya come?”
Murphy said, “I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like me hat, and I knew that McGlynn comes to Church every Sunday. I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of Church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn’s hat.”
The priest said, “Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn’t steal McGlynn’s hat. What changed your mind?”
Murphy said, “Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn’t need to steal McGlynn’s hat after all.”
The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, “After I talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ ya decided you would rather do without the hat than burn in Hell, right?”
Murphy slowly shook his head and said, “No, Father, after ya talked about ’Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery’, I remembered where I left me hat.”
The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley
When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh
There are not many Irish people playing tennis. - Goran Ivanisevic
My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong
The Irish are a very popular race - with themselves. - Brendan Behan
The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett
Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw
Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler
Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty
I've heard some duff Irish accents. The worst must be Mickey Rourke. - James Nesbitt
I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy
What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart? - Unknown
Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead
If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit
Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings
I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe
My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey
I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader
I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly
At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono
The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood
Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson
I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke
I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley
The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. - Oliver Herford
The problem with being Irish is having 'Riverdance' on your back. It's a burden at times. - Roddy Doyle
"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift
The curse of the Irish is not that they don't know the words to a song - its that they know them all. - Susan Dooley
I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry
I'm a big fan of the Irish accent. After a couple of drinks, I start to get a bit of an Irish lilt, too. - Emily Ratajkowski
If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde
As I told Piers Morgan, 'Catholics have confession, whereas Northern Irish Protestants only have interviews.' - James Nesbitt
May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings
For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor
Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt
I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson
Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien
Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?",
New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt
When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh
There are not many Irish people playing tennis. - Goran Ivanisevic
My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong
The Irish are a very popular race - with themselves. - Brendan Behan
The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett
Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw
Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler
Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty
I've heard some duff Irish accents. The worst must be Mickey Rourke. - James Nesbitt
I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy
What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart? - Unknown
Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead
If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit
Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings
I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe
My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey
I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader
I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly
At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono
The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood
Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson
I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke
I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley
The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. - Oliver Herford
The problem with being Irish is having 'Riverdance' on your back. It's a burden at times. - Roddy Doyle
"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift
The curse of the Irish is not that they don't know the words to a song - its that they know them all. - Susan Dooley
I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry
I'm a big fan of the Irish accent. After a couple of drinks, I start to get a bit of an Irish lilt, too. - Emily Ratajkowski
If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde
As I told Piers Morgan, 'Catholics have confession, whereas Northern Irish Protestants only have interviews.' - James Nesbitt
May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings
For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor
Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt
I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson
Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien
Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?",
New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt
see also Nationality & Religious Sections
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25-Jan-2020 |