Smart Flight Attendant

Solving passenger anxiety in close quarters

An unpleasant switch to First Class


A 50 year old Muslim man arrived at his seat on a crowded flight and immediately didn’t want the seat. The seat was next to an elderly white woman reading her Bible.

Disgusted, the Muslim man immediately summoned the flight attendant and demanded a new seat. The man said, “I cannot sit here next to this infidel.” The flight attendant said, “Let me see if I can find another seat.”

After checking, the flight attendant returned and stated, “There are no more seats in economy, but I will check with the captain and see if there is something in first class.”

About 10 minutes went by and the flight attendant returned and stated, “The captain has confirmed that there are no more seats in economy, but there is one in first class. It is our company policy to never move a person from economy to first class, but being that it would be some sort of scandal to force a person to sit next to an UNPLEASANT person, the captain agreed to make the switch to first class.”

Before the irate Muslim man could say anything, the attendant gestured to the elderly woman and said, “Therefore ma’am, if you would so kindly retrieve your personal items, we would like to move you to the comfort of first class as the captain doesn’t want you to sit next to an unpleasant person.”

Passengers in the seats nearby began to applaud while some gave a standing ovation.


QuotaBills
The voice is nothing but beaten air. - Seneca

Owning a drone does not a pilot make. - Alex Morritt

To elude by flight is a glorious victory. - Horace

Wishing to be a bird so you can Fly Away. - Unknown

The shell must break before the bird can fly. - Unknown

Why, when I am talking, does time seem to fly? - Bob Grant

Never eat spinach just before going on the air. - Dan Rather

If you cannot teach me to fly, teach me to sing. - J M Barrie

The press is like the air, a chartered libertine. - William Pitt The Elder

Do what is right, even if you're flying solo. - Unknown

Mothers are angels that lift us when we cannot fly. - Unknown

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. - Al McGuire

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

If the lambs were flying, wolves would have also the wings to fly. - Mehmet M Ildan

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. - Al Gore

In the dark days of your life, you will need the wings of hope to continue flying. - Mehmet M Ildan

Now that I've found the way to fly, which direction should I go into the night? - Ally Condie

My tent doesn't look like much but it is air-conditioned and has exceptional location. - Fennel Hudson

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity. - G K Chesterton

You can't fly with the owls by night and expect to keep up with the eagles during the day. - Unknown

I don't know about flying, but sometimes it feels like I have these little wings on my feet. - Michael Jordan

I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore

Learn to close your eyes and trust. Learn to open your heart and love. Learn to take the risk and fly. - Maxime Lagace

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do about it. - Golda Meir

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

There is music in the air, music all around us; the world is full of it, and you simply take as much as you require. - Edward Elgar

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all. - Robert Orben

Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa

He who would learn to fly on day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The greater the difficulty, the more glory in surmounting it. Skillful pilots gain their reputation from storms and tempests. - Epictetus

Sloth is the failure to do what needs to be done when it needs to be done - like the kamikaze pilot who flew seventeen missions. - John Ortberg

Be not penny-wise. Riches have wings. Sometimes they fly away of themselves, and sometimes they must be set flying to bring in more. - Francis Bacon

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? - George Carlin

Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong

A nation that destroys its soils destroys itself. Forests are the lungs of our land, purifying the air and giving fresh strength to our people. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Music is amoral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything. - Plato


see also   Flight Attendant  Section
A Special Kind of Stupid
Pilot’s Seeing Eye Dog

 

Pittsburghese

Whose Problem

Grasping Shirt

An Evening Prayer

Baby Clone

Piano Ring

Religious Nuts

Funnel Farm

Urinal Challenge

Snow Detour

Redneck GPS

Snow Receiver

Book Perspective

Why Stand In Line?

How Twins Are Made

Ups and Downs

Irish Flu Shots

Snake Circle

Romantic Accident

Winter Mirror
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24-Jan-2021