Grandma’s Remedies

How to control digestion & high blood pressure



How Grandma controls digestion and high blood pressure

“For better digestion I drink beer.
In the case of appetite loss, I drink white wine.
In the case of low blood pressure, I drink red wine.
In the case of high blood pressure, I drink scotch,
and when I have a cold I drink schnapps.”

“When do you drink water?”

“I’ve never been that sick!”


QuotaBills
I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

I'm never sick. Why get sick? It's a waste of time. - Martha Stewart

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown

When a lot of remedies are suggested for a disease, that means it cannot be cured. - Anton Chekhov

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

Concern for someone else was a good remedy for taking the mind off one's own troubles. - Elizabeth Aston

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that's beautiful. - Rashida Jones

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster


see also   Aging  &  Medical  Sections
Birth Control Pills For Grandma
Coffee Goes Better With Soldiers
Good Morning Babushka
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Grandma’s Control Problems – Biodegradable Super Fluff
Grandma’s Controller
Grandma Not Welcome
Grandma Protection
Grandma Was Here
Granny Does Windows Too
How Grandma Handles Windows
Italian Grandma’s Advice
Leaning Grandma
Legal Disclosure
Shopping With Grandma
Surfer Grandma
Tech Help For Grandma
Visiting Grandma in 2015
Working Past 65

 

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13-Dec-2019