Obamacare Sinkhole

Money: the poor man's credit card. - Marshal McLuhan

He does not own money whose money owns him. - St. Cyprian

Prospering doesn't have to do with money. - Joel Osteen

I sell frosting for money. I'm a frostitute. - Unknown

Waitress: A woman who thinks money grows on trays - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Education costs money. But then so does ignorance. - Claus Moser

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. - Groucho Marx

Fidelity bought with money can be overcome by money. - Seneca

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money? - Unknown

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money. - WC Fields

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. - Henny Youngman

The best way to ruin a comedy is to throw a lot of money at it. - Jay Leno

Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs. - Kin Hubbard

Anybody who thinks money will make you happy hasn't got money. - David Geffen

What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man? - Homer Simpson

I can remember way back when a liberal was generous with his own money. - Will Rogers

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something. - Jackie Mason

I don't care how much money you have, free stuff is always a good thing. - Queen Latifah

When I get a little money, I buy books. If any is left, I buy food and clothes. - Erasmus

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket. - Will Rogers

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it. - George Bernard Shaw

There's a new Norwegian insurance policy. It's called "My Fault Insurance." - Henny Youngman

It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them. - Bill Vaughan

The only reason I'm in Hollywood is that I don't have the moral courage to refuse the money. - Marlon Brando

It is not the employer who pays wages; he only handles the money. It is the product that pays wages. - Henry Ford

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? - Woody Allen

I didn't want to be selling insurance at 40, wondering what would it have been like to do stand-up. - Steven Wright

When a fellow says, 'It ain't the money but the principle of the thing,' it's the money. - Kin Hubbard

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

I'm a big crier in general. The right life insurance commercial will take me out for a couple of days. - Ike Barinholtz

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

When I was young, I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old, I know it is. - Oscar Wilde

When we checked with the title insurance company, they said we had ... a complete right to that entrance and exit. - Donald Trump

Always remember money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense. - Earl Wilson

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go. - Jack Benny

There are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny - have you ever tried to buy them without money? - Ogden Nash