No, This Is Not A Joe-k

A bad compromise beats a good lawsuit. - Saying

A lawyer and a cart wheel must be greased. - John R Beard

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

Where there's a will there's a lawsuit. - Addison Mizner

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

He who will always be his own lawyer will often have a fool for a client. - J Hunter

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Now we got a lawyer, we got civilization, which I understand to mean that a man has a chance to get rich without working. - Sinclair Lewis

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake? - Dylan Moran

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? - George Carlin

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

A lawyer's performance in the courtroom is responsible for about 25 percent of the outcome; the remaining 75 percent depends on the facts. - Melvin Belli

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin