The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
“Johnny, do you have a story to share?”
“Yes, ma’am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Judy. Aunt Judy was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t fall into enemy hands and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, ’til the blade broke and then she killed the last one with her bare hands.”
“Good heavens,” said the horrified teacher, “What kind of moral did your daddy teach you from that horrible story?”
“Stay the
heck away from Aunt Judy when she’s been drinking.”
Friends are the family you choose. - Jennifer Aniston
A thankful heart is the parent of all virtues. - Cicero
I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world. - Bill Watterson
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children. - Sam Levenson
Family is not an important thing - it's everything. - Michael J. Fox
He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind. - The Bible
Acting is just a way of making a living; the family is life. - Denzel Washington
The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents. - John J. Plomp
Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to people better than you are. - John G. Pollard
Making the family a top priority will invariably bring success. - Zig Ziglar
I think the family was from Hungaria. (talking about Noah's Ark) - Archie Bunker
Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife
We do not inherit the earth from our parents. We borrow it from our children. - Unknown
If we stand tall, it's because we stand on the shoulders of many ancestors. - Unknown
I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen
No Chinese Catholics are allowed to worship ancestors in their familial temples. - Pope Clement XI
My parents treated my like I had a brain - which, in turn, caused me to have one. - Diane Lane
I believe in moderation. I work on genealogy only on days that end in 'y'. - Richard Thiesen
My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss
A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many bad measures. - Daniel Webster
No man can cause more grief than one clinging blindly to the voices of his ancestors. - William Faulkner
The family you came from isn't as important as the family you're going to have. - Ring Lardner
Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life. - Oscar Wilde
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. - Clarence Darrow
He that has no fools, knaves, nor beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning. - Thomas Fuller
We are the children of many sires, and every drop of blood in us in its turn ... betrays its ancestor. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of had anything to play with. - Rodney Dangerfield
Every family story has 1,000 other stories contained within it, like an unending series of nesting dolls. - Alison Pick
I've come to learn that the best time to debate family members is when they have good in their mouths. - Kenneth Cole
All dentists talk while they work. They have inherited this from their professional ancestors, the barbers. - Mark Twain
There is no king who has not had a slave among his ancestors, and no slave who has not had a king among his. - Helen Keller
Children aren’t happy without something to ignore,
And that’s what parents were created for. - Ogden Nash
Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown
Hello. I don't believe we have been introduced. R2-D2? A pleasure to meet you. I am C-3PO, Human-Cyborg Relations. - C-3PO
Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde
The practical importance of the preservation of our forests is augmented by their relations to climate, soil and streams. - John Muir
Distinguished ancestors shed a powerful light on their descendants, and forbid the concealment either of their merits or of their demerits. - Gaius S. Crispus
A sense of duty is useful in work but offensive in personal relations. People wish to be liked, not to be endured with patient resignation. - Bertrand Russell
The family should be a place where each new human being can have an early atmosphere conducive to the development of constructive creativity. - Edith Schaeffer
What ya eat ain't got nuttin' to do with how old ya are. That all depends on your ancestors. It's what they call a matter of heresy. - Archie Bunker
A thankful heart is the parent of all virtues. - Cicero
I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world. - Bill Watterson
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children. - Sam Levenson
Family is not an important thing - it's everything. - Michael J. Fox
He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind. - The Bible
Acting is just a way of making a living; the family is life. - Denzel Washington
The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents. - John J. Plomp
Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to people better than you are. - John G. Pollard
Making the family a top priority will invariably bring success. - Zig Ziglar
I think the family was from Hungaria. (talking about Noah's Ark) - Archie Bunker
Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife
We do not inherit the earth from our parents. We borrow it from our children. - Unknown
If we stand tall, it's because we stand on the shoulders of many ancestors. - Unknown
I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen
No Chinese Catholics are allowed to worship ancestors in their familial temples. - Pope Clement XI
My parents treated my like I had a brain - which, in turn, caused me to have one. - Diane Lane
I believe in moderation. I work on genealogy only on days that end in 'y'. - Richard Thiesen
My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss
A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many bad measures. - Daniel Webster
No man can cause more grief than one clinging blindly to the voices of his ancestors. - William Faulkner
The family you came from isn't as important as the family you're going to have. - Ring Lardner
Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life. - Oscar Wilde
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. - Clarence Darrow
He that has no fools, knaves, nor beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning. - Thomas Fuller
We are the children of many sires, and every drop of blood in us in its turn ... betrays its ancestor. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of had anything to play with. - Rodney Dangerfield
Every family story has 1,000 other stories contained within it, like an unending series of nesting dolls. - Alison Pick
I've come to learn that the best time to debate family members is when they have good in their mouths. - Kenneth Cole
All dentists talk while they work. They have inherited this from their professional ancestors, the barbers. - Mark Twain
There is no king who has not had a slave among his ancestors, and no slave who has not had a king among his. - Helen Keller
Children aren’t happy without something to ignore,
And that’s what parents were created for. - Ogden Nash
Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown
Hello. I don't believe we have been introduced. R2-D2? A pleasure to meet you. I am C-3PO, Human-Cyborg Relations. - C-3PO
Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde
The practical importance of the preservation of our forests is augmented by their relations to climate, soil and streams. - John Muir
Distinguished ancestors shed a powerful light on their descendants, and forbid the concealment either of their merits or of their demerits. - Gaius S. Crispus
A sense of duty is useful in work but offensive in personal relations. People wish to be liked, not to be endured with patient resignation. - Bertrand Russell
The family should be a place where each new human being can have an early atmosphere conducive to the development of constructive creativity. - Edith Schaeffer
What ya eat ain't got nuttin' to do with how old ya are. That all depends on your ancestors. It's what they call a matter of heresy. - Archie Bunker
see also Family, Relationship & School Sections
Adaptive Roots
Ancestry Rewind
Babysitting Kids
Chimera Genetics
Family Fun
Family Hands
Family Picture
Family Planning Advice
Family Ties
Family Tree
Get Along Shirt
Hands On Tree
Mom Lookout
Parent Delete
Sister DNA
The Van Gogh Family Tree
Tom Lee Music Franchise Opportunities
Walker Buddies
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08-Dec-2019 |