The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
“Johnny, do you have a story to share?”
“Yes, ma’am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Judy. Aunt Judy was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t fall into enemy hands and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, ’til the blade broke and then she killed the last one with her bare hands.”
“Good heavens,” said the horrified teacher, “What kind of moral did your daddy teach you from that horrible story?”
“Stay the
heck away from Aunt Judy when she’s been drinking.”
Tantamount: Riding a French Aunt - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
You live as long as you are remembered. - Russian Proverb
My parents put a live teddy bear in my crib. - Woody Allen
Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle
I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world. - Bill Watterson
Grandmas are short on criticism and long on love. - Unknown
There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. - Jerry Seinfeld
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. - Jesus Christ
The two things children wear out are clothes and parents. - Unknown
I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. - Greg Norman
Acting is just a way of making a living; the family is life. - Denzel Washington
The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents. - John J. Plomp
Do not remove the ancient landmark that your ancestors set up. - Bible
Writing is conscience, scruple, and the farming of our ancestors. - Edward Dahlberg
What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa
Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head. - Martin Mull
You can't choose your ancestors, and neither can your descendants. - Unknown
Family Tree: The only tree whose branches seek the shelter of its roots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Gentility is what is left over from rich ancestors after the money is gone. - John Ciardi
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. - George Bernard Shaw
I write to keep in contact with our ancestors and to spread truth to people. - Sonia Sanchez
No Chinese Catholics are allowed to worship ancestors in their familial temples. - Pope Clement XI
I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter
There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings. - Hodding S. Carter
Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave
when they think that their children are naive. - Ogden Nash
I only hope when I have my own family that every day I see a little more of my father in me. - Keith Urban
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard
Character is better than ancestry, and personal conduct is of more importance than the highest. - Thomas J. Barnardo
I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery
You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family. - Anita Baker
I don't know who my grandfather was, I am much more concerned to know what his grandson will be. - Abraham Lincoln
I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year. - Steven Wright
The roots of the problems we face in the world, in our national life, and in our family and personal lives are spiritual. - Stephen Covey
It's a family that's loaded with grudges and passion. We come from a long line of robbers and highwaymen in Italy. - Nicolas Cage
The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family. - Reed Markham
The unjustifiable severity of a parent is loaded with this aggravation, that those whom he injures are always in his sight. - Joseph Addison
In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia
If you have a family mission statement that clarifies what your purpose is, then you use that as the criterion by which you make the decisions. - Stephen Covey
You live as long as you are remembered. - Russian Proverb
My parents put a live teddy bear in my crib. - Woody Allen
Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle
I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world. - Bill Watterson
Grandmas are short on criticism and long on love. - Unknown
There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. - Jerry Seinfeld
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. - Jesus Christ
The two things children wear out are clothes and parents. - Unknown
I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. - Greg Norman
Acting is just a way of making a living; the family is life. - Denzel Washington
The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents. - John J. Plomp
Do not remove the ancient landmark that your ancestors set up. - Bible
Writing is conscience, scruple, and the farming of our ancestors. - Edward Dahlberg
What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa
Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head. - Martin Mull
You can't choose your ancestors, and neither can your descendants. - Unknown
Family Tree: The only tree whose branches seek the shelter of its roots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Gentility is what is left over from rich ancestors after the money is gone. - John Ciardi
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. - George Bernard Shaw
I write to keep in contact with our ancestors and to spread truth to people. - Sonia Sanchez
No Chinese Catholics are allowed to worship ancestors in their familial temples. - Pope Clement XI
I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter
There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings. - Hodding S. Carter
Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave
when they think that their children are naive. - Ogden Nash
I only hope when I have my own family that every day I see a little more of my father in me. - Keith Urban
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard
Character is better than ancestry, and personal conduct is of more importance than the highest. - Thomas J. Barnardo
I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery
You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family. - Anita Baker
I don't know who my grandfather was, I am much more concerned to know what his grandson will be. - Abraham Lincoln
I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year. - Steven Wright
The roots of the problems we face in the world, in our national life, and in our family and personal lives are spiritual. - Stephen Covey
It's a family that's loaded with grudges and passion. We come from a long line of robbers and highwaymen in Italy. - Nicolas Cage
The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family. - Reed Markham
The unjustifiable severity of a parent is loaded with this aggravation, that those whom he injures are always in his sight. - Joseph Addison
In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia
If you have a family mission statement that clarifies what your purpose is, then you use that as the criterion by which you make the decisions. - Stephen Covey
see also Family, Relationship & School Sections
Adaptive Roots
Ancestry Rewind
Babysitting Kids
Chimera Genetics
Family Fun
Family Hands
Family Picture
Family Planning Advice
Family Ties
Family Tree
Get Along Shirt
Hands On Tree
Mom Lookout
Parent Delete
Sister DNA
The Van Gogh Family Tree
Tom Lee Music Franchise Opportunities
Walker Buddies
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28-May-2022 |