Aunt From Desert Storm

End of story morals


The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

“Johnny, do you have a story to share?”

“Yes, ma’am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Judy. Aunt Judy was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t fall into enemy hands and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, ’til the blade broke and then she killed the last one with her bare hands.”

“Good heavens,” said the horrified teacher, “What kind of moral did your daddy teach you from that horrible story?”

“Stay the heck away from Aunt Judy when she’s been drinking.





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He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind. - The Bible

Do not remove the ancient landmark that your ancestors set up. - Bible

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Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them. - Rita Rudner

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My parents always told me I could do anything, but never told me how long it would take. - Rita Rudner

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter

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Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalize what farmers have been doing all along. - Unknown

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when they think that their children are naive. - Ogden Nash

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A man who thinks too much about his ancestors is like a potato - the best part of him is underground. - Henry Cooper

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A sense of duty is useful in work but offensive in personal relations. People wish to be liked, not to be endured with patient resignation. - Bertrand Russell

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08-May-2021