The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
“Johnny, do you have a story to share?”
“Yes, ma’am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Judy. Aunt Judy was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t fall into enemy hands and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, ’til the blade broke and then she killed the last one with her bare hands.”
“Good heavens,” said the horrified teacher, “What kind of moral did your daddy teach you from that horrible story?”
“Stay the
heck away from Aunt Judy when she’s been drinking.”
Tantamount: Riding a French Aunt - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Friends are the family you choose. - Jennifer Aniston
Something bad has befelt the family. - Archie Bunker
Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting. - Unknown
Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle
There's nobody stronger than a single parent. - Unknown
Beware of men who flourish with hereditary honors. - Latin Proverb
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children. - Sam Levenson
I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. - Greg Norman
My parents were neither very poor nor conspicuously honest. - Mark Twain
Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family. - Homer Simpson
Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family. - Anthony Brandt
If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you. - Dick Cavett
What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa
You can't choose your ancestors, and neither can your descendants. - Unknown
The meek may inherit the earth, but it's the grumpy who get promoted. - Father Mulcahy
I write to keep in contact with our ancestors and to spread truth to people. - Sonia Sanchez
My parents are very good examples of Christians. They are big on forgiveness. - James Acaster
The meek shall inherit the world, but they'll never increase market share. - William G McGowan
Conventions are like coins, an easy way of dealing with the commerce of relations. - Freya Stark
Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book. - Cicero
I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield
There's no road map on how to raise a family: it's always an enormous negotiation. - Meryl Streep
We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment. - Bill Keane
All his successors gone before him have done’t; and all his ancestors that come after him may. - William Shakespeare
It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth after they inherit it. - Kin Hubbard
Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown
Parents should leave books lying around marked "forbidden" if they want their children to read. - Doris Lessing
Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde
Hello. I don't believe we have been introduced. R2-D2? A pleasure to meet you. I am C-3PO, Human-Cyborg Relations. - C-3PO
The unjustifiable severity of a parent is loaded with this aggravation, that those whom he injures are always in his sight. - Joseph Addison
We split from our common ancestor with the octopus half a billion years ago. And yet, you can make friends with an octopus. - Sy Montgomery
Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right path, the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. - Anne Frank
In the best, the friendliest and simplest relations flattery or praise is necessary, just as grease is necessary to keep wheels turning. - Leo Tolstoy
A sense of duty is useful in work but offensive in personal relations. People wish to be liked, not to be endured with patient resignation. - Bertrand Russell
The average family spends 30 hours in front of a television, and they say they don't have the time to have a balanced, integrated life. - Stephen Covey
In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia
If you have a family mission statement that clarifies what your purpose is, then you use that as the criterion by which you make the decisions. - Stephen Covey
I have frequently been questioned, especially by women, of how I could reconcile family life with a scientific career. Well, it has not been easy. - Marie Curie
I can't help detesting my relations. I suppose it comes from the fact that none of us can stand other people having the same faults as ourselves. - Oscar Wilde
Friends are the family you choose. - Jennifer Aniston
Something bad has befelt the family. - Archie Bunker
Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting. - Unknown
Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle
There's nobody stronger than a single parent. - Unknown
Beware of men who flourish with hereditary honors. - Latin Proverb
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children. - Sam Levenson
I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. - Greg Norman
My parents were neither very poor nor conspicuously honest. - Mark Twain
Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family. - Homer Simpson
Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family. - Anthony Brandt
If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you. - Dick Cavett
What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa
You can't choose your ancestors, and neither can your descendants. - Unknown
The meek may inherit the earth, but it's the grumpy who get promoted. - Father Mulcahy
I write to keep in contact with our ancestors and to spread truth to people. - Sonia Sanchez
My parents are very good examples of Christians. They are big on forgiveness. - James Acaster
The meek shall inherit the world, but they'll never increase market share. - William G McGowan
Conventions are like coins, an easy way of dealing with the commerce of relations. - Freya Stark
Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book. - Cicero
I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield
There's no road map on how to raise a family: it's always an enormous negotiation. - Meryl Streep
We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment. - Bill Keane
All his successors gone before him have done’t; and all his ancestors that come after him may. - William Shakespeare
It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth after they inherit it. - Kin Hubbard
Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown
Parents should leave books lying around marked "forbidden" if they want their children to read. - Doris Lessing
Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde
Hello. I don't believe we have been introduced. R2-D2? A pleasure to meet you. I am C-3PO, Human-Cyborg Relations. - C-3PO
The unjustifiable severity of a parent is loaded with this aggravation, that those whom he injures are always in his sight. - Joseph Addison
We split from our common ancestor with the octopus half a billion years ago. And yet, you can make friends with an octopus. - Sy Montgomery
Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right path, the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. - Anne Frank
In the best, the friendliest and simplest relations flattery or praise is necessary, just as grease is necessary to keep wheels turning. - Leo Tolstoy
A sense of duty is useful in work but offensive in personal relations. People wish to be liked, not to be endured with patient resignation. - Bertrand Russell
The average family spends 30 hours in front of a television, and they say they don't have the time to have a balanced, integrated life. - Stephen Covey
In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia
If you have a family mission statement that clarifies what your purpose is, then you use that as the criterion by which you make the decisions. - Stephen Covey
I have frequently been questioned, especially by women, of how I could reconcile family life with a scientific career. Well, it has not been easy. - Marie Curie
I can't help detesting my relations. I suppose it comes from the fact that none of us can stand other people having the same faults as ourselves. - Oscar Wilde
see also Family, Relationship & School Sections
Adaptive Roots
Ancestry Rewind
Babysitting Kids
Chimera Genetics
Family Fun
Family Hands
Family Picture
Family Planning Advice
Family Ties
Family Tree
Get Along Shirt
Hands On Tree
Mom Lookout
Parent Delete
Sister DNA
The Van Gogh Family Tree
Tom Lee Music Franchise Opportunities
Walker Buddies
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30-May-2020 |