The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
“Johnny, do you have a story to share?”
“Yes, ma’am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Judy. Aunt Judy was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t fall into enemy hands and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, ’til the blade broke and then she killed the last one with her bare hands.”
“Good heavens,” said the horrified teacher, “What kind of moral did your daddy teach you from that horrible story?”
“Stay the
heck away from Aunt Judy when she’s been drinking.”
By ancestry, I was born to rule. - Nelson Mandela
Ancestry is a hereditary condition. - Unknown
Something bad has befelt the family. - Archie Bunker
My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown
Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson
Take it from me, parents just don't understand. - Will Smith
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. - Rodney Dangerfield
Recognize, appreciate and repay your parents' love. - Cheng Yen
Anybody can make history, only a great man can write it. - Oscar Wilde
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. - Rodney Dangerfield
Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family. - Anthony Brandt
I think the family was from Hungaria. (talking about Noah's Ark) - Archie Bunker
To the world you are a mother, but to your family you are the world. - Unknown
Misers aren't fun to live with, but they make wonderful ancestors. - Unknown
Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife
For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman
Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King
People will not look forward to posterity who never look backward to their ancestors. - Edmund Burke
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin
Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalize what farmers have been doing all along. - Unknown
Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see you all day and now the day was complete. - Marcy DeMaree
We are the children of many sires, and every drop of blood in us in its turn ... betrays its ancestor. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. - Phyllis Diller
There is no king who has not had a slave among his ancestors, and no slave who has not had a king among his. - Helen Keller
Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde
My parents have been visiting me for a few days. I just dropped them off at the airport. They leave tomorrow. - Margaret Smith
What is a family except memories? Haphazard and precious as the contents of a catchall drawer in the kitchen. - Joyce C Oates
In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue
Hello. I don't believe we have been introduced. R2-D2? A pleasure to meet you. I am C-3PO, Human-Cyborg Relations. - C-3PO
The unjustifiable severity of a parent is loaded with this aggravation, that those whom he injures are always in his sight. - Joseph Addison
Over the years, I learned so much from mom. She taught me about the importance of home and history and family and tradition. - Martha Stewart
The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended - and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended. - Robert Frost
In the best, the friendliest and simplest relations flattery or praise is necessary, just as grease is necessary to keep wheels turning. - Leo Tolstoy
Prayer turns ordinary parents into prophets who shape the destinies of their children, grandchildren, and every generation that follows. - Mark Batterson
I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo
With the steady disintegration of the family in modern society over the last century, the role of the school in bridging the gap has become vital. - Stephen Covey
Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer
Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey
Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda
Ancestry is a hereditary condition. - Unknown
Something bad has befelt the family. - Archie Bunker
My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown
Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson
Take it from me, parents just don't understand. - Will Smith
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. - Rodney Dangerfield
Recognize, appreciate and repay your parents' love. - Cheng Yen
Anybody can make history, only a great man can write it. - Oscar Wilde
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. - Rodney Dangerfield
Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family. - Anthony Brandt
I think the family was from Hungaria. (talking about Noah's Ark) - Archie Bunker
To the world you are a mother, but to your family you are the world. - Unknown
Misers aren't fun to live with, but they make wonderful ancestors. - Unknown
Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife
For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman
Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King
People will not look forward to posterity who never look backward to their ancestors. - Edmund Burke
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin
Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalize what farmers have been doing all along. - Unknown
Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see you all day and now the day was complete. - Marcy DeMaree
We are the children of many sires, and every drop of blood in us in its turn ... betrays its ancestor. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. - Phyllis Diller
There is no king who has not had a slave among his ancestors, and no slave who has not had a king among his. - Helen Keller
Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde
My parents have been visiting me for a few days. I just dropped them off at the airport. They leave tomorrow. - Margaret Smith
What is a family except memories? Haphazard and precious as the contents of a catchall drawer in the kitchen. - Joyce C Oates
In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue
Hello. I don't believe we have been introduced. R2-D2? A pleasure to meet you. I am C-3PO, Human-Cyborg Relations. - C-3PO
The unjustifiable severity of a parent is loaded with this aggravation, that those whom he injures are always in his sight. - Joseph Addison
Over the years, I learned so much from mom. She taught me about the importance of home and history and family and tradition. - Martha Stewart
The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended - and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended. - Robert Frost
In the best, the friendliest and simplest relations flattery or praise is necessary, just as grease is necessary to keep wheels turning. - Leo Tolstoy
Prayer turns ordinary parents into prophets who shape the destinies of their children, grandchildren, and every generation that follows. - Mark Batterson
I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo
With the steady disintegration of the family in modern society over the last century, the role of the school in bridging the gap has become vital. - Stephen Covey
Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer
Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey
Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda
see also Family, Relationship & School Sections
Adaptive Roots
Ancestry Rewind
Babysitting Kids
Chimera Genetics
Family Fun
Family Hands
Family Picture
Family Planning Advice
Family Ties
Family Tree
Get Along Shirt
Hands On Tree
Mom Lookout
Parent Delete
Sister DNA
The Van Gogh Family Tree
Tom Lee Music Franchise Opportunities
Walker Buddies
 Foot Race |  2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars |  Lockdown Advice |  Wii Way |  Odor Detector |
 Associate Demonstration |  Biden in the Oval Office |  Poor Fishing Day |  Mustache Breeze |  Chain Weave Hairstyle |
 Jar of Birds |  Wheely Unstable |  Roman Segway Chariot |  Rocky Orders |  Snowmobile Races - Get There Early |
 Pocket Change |  Welcome to Texas, USPS |  Not Without A Washer |  Jogger's Weight Scale |  Toilet Snake |
20-Jan-2021 |