The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
“Johnny, do you have a story to share?”
“Yes, ma’am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Judy. Aunt Judy was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t fall into enemy hands and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, ’til the blade broke and then she killed the last one with her bare hands.”
“Good heavens,” said the horrified teacher, “What kind of moral did your daddy teach you from that horrible story?”
“Stay the
heck away from Aunt Judy when she’s been drinking.”
People like to trace their ancestry. - Richard Dawkins
My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown
You live as long as you are remembered. - Russian Proverb
Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting. - Unknown
My parents put a live teddy bear in my crib. - Woody Allen
I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world. - Bill Watterson
Besmooch the family name in the eyes of the community. - Archie Bunker
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. - Rodney Dangerfield
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. - Erma Bombeck
Some men by ancestry are only the shadow of a mighty name. - Etheridge Knight
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield
I think the family was from Hungaria. (talking about Noah's Ark) - Archie Bunker
The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get in to Harvard. - Robin Williams
What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa
For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman
Live so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. - Will Rogers
If we stand tall, it's because we stand on the shoulders of many ancestors. - Unknown
No Chinese Catholics are allowed to worship ancestors in their familial temples. - Pope Clement XI
If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit
A grandmother is a little bit parent, a little bit teacher, and a little bit best friend. - Unknown
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin
Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalize what farmers have been doing all along. - Unknown
There's a lot of baggage that comes along with our family, but it's Louis Vuitton baggage. - Kim Kardashian
Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see you all day and now the day was complete. - Marcy DeMaree
Children aren't happy without something to ignore, and that's what parents were created for. - Ogden Nash
All his successors gone before him have done’t; and all his ancestors that come after him may. - William Shakespeare
I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon
Mothers are like glue, Even when you can't see them, they're still holding the family together. - Susan Gale
The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. - Phyllis Diller
Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns
There is no king who has not had a slave among his ancestors, and no slave who has not had a king among his. - Helen Keller
What is a family except memories? Haphazard and precious as the contents of a catchall drawer in the kitchen. - Joyce C Oates
Happiness is being content with what you have, living in freedom and liberty, having a good family life and good friends. - Divyanka Tripathi
We split from our common ancestor with the octopus half a billion years ago. And yet, you can make friends with an octopus. - Sy Montgomery
Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right path, the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. - Anne Frank
A sense of duty is useful in work but offensive in personal relations. People wish to be liked, not to be endured with patient resignation. - Bertrand Russell
The family should be a place where each new human being can have an early atmosphere conducive to the development of constructive creativity. - Edith Schaeffer
Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller
I have frequently been questioned, especially by women, of how I could reconcile family life with a scientific career. Well, it has not been easy. - Marie Curie
My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown
You live as long as you are remembered. - Russian Proverb
Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting. - Unknown
My parents put a live teddy bear in my crib. - Woody Allen
I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world. - Bill Watterson
Besmooch the family name in the eyes of the community. - Archie Bunker
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. - Rodney Dangerfield
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. - Erma Bombeck
Some men by ancestry are only the shadow of a mighty name. - Etheridge Knight
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield
I think the family was from Hungaria. (talking about Noah's Ark) - Archie Bunker
The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get in to Harvard. - Robin Williams
What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa
For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman
Live so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. - Will Rogers
If we stand tall, it's because we stand on the shoulders of many ancestors. - Unknown
No Chinese Catholics are allowed to worship ancestors in their familial temples. - Pope Clement XI
If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit
A grandmother is a little bit parent, a little bit teacher, and a little bit best friend. - Unknown
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin
Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalize what farmers have been doing all along. - Unknown
There's a lot of baggage that comes along with our family, but it's Louis Vuitton baggage. - Kim Kardashian
Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see you all day and now the day was complete. - Marcy DeMaree
Children aren't happy without something to ignore, and that's what parents were created for. - Ogden Nash
All his successors gone before him have done’t; and all his ancestors that come after him may. - William Shakespeare
I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon
Mothers are like glue, Even when you can't see them, they're still holding the family together. - Susan Gale
The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. - Phyllis Diller
Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns
There is no king who has not had a slave among his ancestors, and no slave who has not had a king among his. - Helen Keller
What is a family except memories? Haphazard and precious as the contents of a catchall drawer in the kitchen. - Joyce C Oates
Happiness is being content with what you have, living in freedom and liberty, having a good family life and good friends. - Divyanka Tripathi
We split from our common ancestor with the octopus half a billion years ago. And yet, you can make friends with an octopus. - Sy Montgomery
Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right path, the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. - Anne Frank
A sense of duty is useful in work but offensive in personal relations. People wish to be liked, not to be endured with patient resignation. - Bertrand Russell
The family should be a place where each new human being can have an early atmosphere conducive to the development of constructive creativity. - Edith Schaeffer
Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller
I have frequently been questioned, especially by women, of how I could reconcile family life with a scientific career. Well, it has not been easy. - Marie Curie
see also Family, Relationship & School Sections
Adaptive Roots
Ancestry Rewind
Babysitting Kids
Chimera Genetics
Family Fun
Family Hands
Family Picture
Family Planning Advice
Family Ties
Family Tree
Get Along Shirt
Hands On Tree
Mom Lookout
Parent Delete
Sister DNA
The Van Gogh Family Tree
Tom Lee Music Franchise Opportunities
Walker Buddies
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07-Aug-2020 |