As far as I’m concerned, I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue.
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
I have no particular talent. I am merely inquisitive.
If I had my life to live over again, I’d be a plumber.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it wouldn’t be called research.
It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT’S relativity.
The faster you go, the shorter you are.
The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
It’s About Time
Antler Switch Plate
Redneck Cotter Pin
Your Fly Is Down
Political Promise Hauler
Steering Wheel For Couples
Confined By Walls
Redneck Selfie Stick
1957 Woolworth Menu
Cops Beating A Black Man in NYC
The New Norm
Police Car Of The Year
If You're Looking For A Sign
Upside Down Amusement