The National Research Council (NRC) has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named Governmentium. Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 234 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it normally would take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of three years: it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass. see also   Government,  Language  &  Politics  Sections Administratium - Heaviest Element Discovered Daffynitions New Element in the Periodic Table   New Nail Gun Breakthrough - Second Wind Burma Road Cycling Water Waste Basket My Daughter and My Money Executive Decision Time Animal Rings Cow Return Biggest Fan On The Block Senior's TV Tray Potty 'Train'ing In India A Woman Named Five Horses Vegan Dentist How To Conserve Gas Rolling Shoes How Twins Are Made Cool Reading Room Poor Lifetime Be GarFul Tooth Ferry

06-Jun-2020