Redneck Math

Pi are squared, aren’t they?


Teacher:   “What is the area of a circle, Bubba - Pi R^2?”
Bubba:   “Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.”

Teacher:   “What is a proof?”
Bubba:   “One-half percent of alcohol.”



QuotaBills
Mathematics has beauties of its own. - J.W.A. Young

Math research is more like a marathon. - Terence Tao

Revolutions never occur in mathematics. - Michael Crowe

I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel

Mathematics knows no races or geographic boundaries. - David Hilbert

I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal

Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko

A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton

Mathematics has given economics rigor, but alas, also mortis. - Robert Heilbroner

"Obvious" is the most dangerous word in mathematics. - Eric T. Bell

Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. - Edmund Burke

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain

I don't want to send them to jail. I want to send them to school. - Adlai Stevenson

Like the crest of a peacock, so is mathematics at the head of all knowledge. - Indian Proverb

Film is one of the three universal languages, the other two: mathematics and music. - Frank Capra

For the things of this world cannot be made known without a knowledge of mathematics. - Roger Bacon

When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert

If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver

For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus

I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

Mathematics is distinguished from all other sciences except only ethics, in standing in no need of ethics. - Charles Peirce

You learn how to be book smart in school, but you better not forget that you also need to be street smart. - Harvey Mackay

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor

The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it. - James Newman

The chief reason for going to school is to get the impression fixed for life that there is a book side for everything. - Robert Frost

There are advantages to being President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret. - Ronald Reagan

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok

A formal manipulator in mathematics often experiences the discomforting feeling that his pencil surpasses him in intelligence. - Howard Eves

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true. - Rene Descartes

You don't have to be a genius or a visionary or even a college graduate to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream. - Michael Dell

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

When I finished school, I took one of those career-aptitude tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime. - Tim Cavanagh

Mathematics began to seem too much like puzzle solving. Physics is puzzle solving, too, but of puzzles created by nature, not by the mind of man. - Maria G. Mayer


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08-Apr-2020