Redneck Math

Pi are squared, aren’t they?

Teacher:   “What is the area of a circle, Bubba - Pi R^2?”
Bubba:   “Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.”

Teacher:   “What is a proof?”
Bubba:   “One-half percent of alcohol.”

Everything is physics and math. - Katherine Johnson

Revolutions never occur in mathematics. - Michael Crowe

College is a refuge from hasty judgment. - Robert Frost

I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel

Pure mathematics is the poetry of logical ideas. - Albert Einstein

Algebra: Undergarment worn by female math teachers - Daffynitions

You can lead a boy to college but you cannot make him think. - Elbert Hubbard

Math is like love - a simple idea but it can get complicated. - R. Drabek

School Of Hard Knocks: Where they train door-to-door salesmen - Daffynitions

If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics. - Francis Bacon

Those who go to college and never get out are called professors. - George Givot

Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. - Edmund Burke

The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy. - Henry Brightman

I'm not buying my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. - Yogi Berra

Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school. - Albert Einstein

Life is good for only two things: discovering mathematics and teaching mathematics. - Simeon Poisson

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert

There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who aren't. - Unknown

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus

I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

Mathematics is distinguished from all other sciences except only ethics, in standing in no need of ethics. - Charles Peirce

Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad's payroll - and on to his wife's - Daffynitions

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what one is talking about nor whether what is said is true. - Bertrand Russell

There are advantages to being President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret. - Ronald Reagan

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right. - Jack Nicholson

Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true. - Rene Descartes

Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform. - Bertrand Russell

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

When I finished school, I took one of those career-aptitude tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime. - Tim Cavanagh

Mathematics is not a careful march down a well-cleared highway, but a journey into a strange wilderness where the explorers often get lost. - W.S. Anglin

With the steady disintegration of the family in modern society over the last century, the role of the school in bridging the gap has become vital. - Stephen Covey

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions

If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown

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