Teacher: “What is the area of a circle, Bubba - Pi R^2?”
Bubba: “Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.”
Teacher: “What is a proof?”
Bubba: “One-half percent of alcohol.”
Revolutions never occur in mathematics. - Michael Crowe
College is a refuge from hasty judgment. - Robert Frost
I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel
Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown
Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin
Dear Math: I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems. - Unknown
You can lead a boy to college but you cannot make him think. - Elbert Hubbard
Math is like love - a simple idea but it can get complicated. - R. Drabek
Mathematics is the science which uses easy words for hard ideas. - James Roy Newman
Those who go to college and never get out are called professors. - George Givot
The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy. - Henry Brightman
Walking has been ridiculous in college basketball the past 15 years. - Bobby Knight
College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel
College Education: A four-year plan for confusing a young mind methodically. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
For the things of this world cannot be made known without a knowledge of mathematics. - Roger Bacon
Let us grant that the pursuit of mathematics is a divine madness of the human spirit. - Alfred Whitehead
In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made school boards. - Mark Twain
When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya
There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who aren't. - Unknown
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen
Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons
It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain
You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor
There are advantages to being President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret. - Ronald Reagan
Mathematics is like checkers in being suitable for the young, not too difficult, amusing, and without peril to the state. - Plato
In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right. - Jack Nicholson
Mathematics is indeed dangerous in that it absorbs students to such a degree that it dulls their senses to everything else. - Prinz zu Hohlenlohe-Ingelfingen Kraft
Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok
I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman
Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform. - Bertrand Russell
In the real world, the smartest people are people who make mistakes and learn. In school, the smartest people don't make mistakes. - Robert T Kiyosaki
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
When I finished school, I took one of those career-aptitude tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime. - Tim Cavanagh
I was named the Class Clown in the high school yearbook, so I was always turning to comedy and laughter to heal and to get me through things. - Guillermo Diaz
Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I tell them that if they will occupy themselves with the study of mathematics they will find it the best remedy against the lusts of the flesh. - Thomas Mann
With the steady disintegration of the family in modern society over the last century, the role of the school in bridging the gap has become vital. - Stephen Covey
Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey
College is a refuge from hasty judgment. - Robert Frost
I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel
Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown
Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin
Dear Math: I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems. - Unknown
You can lead a boy to college but you cannot make him think. - Elbert Hubbard
Math is like love - a simple idea but it can get complicated. - R. Drabek
Mathematics is the science which uses easy words for hard ideas. - James Roy Newman
Those who go to college and never get out are called professors. - George Givot
The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy. - Henry Brightman
Walking has been ridiculous in college basketball the past 15 years. - Bobby Knight
College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel
College Education: A four-year plan for confusing a young mind methodically. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
For the things of this world cannot be made known without a knowledge of mathematics. - Roger Bacon
Let us grant that the pursuit of mathematics is a divine madness of the human spirit. - Alfred Whitehead
In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made school boards. - Mark Twain
When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya
There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who aren't. - Unknown
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen
Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons
It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain
You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor
There are advantages to being President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret. - Ronald Reagan
Mathematics is like checkers in being suitable for the young, not too difficult, amusing, and without peril to the state. - Plato
In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right. - Jack Nicholson
Mathematics is indeed dangerous in that it absorbs students to such a degree that it dulls their senses to everything else. - Prinz zu Hohlenlohe-Ingelfingen Kraft
Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok
I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman
Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform. - Bertrand Russell
In the real world, the smartest people are people who make mistakes and learn. In school, the smartest people don't make mistakes. - Robert T Kiyosaki
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
When I finished school, I took one of those career-aptitude tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime. - Tim Cavanagh
I was named the Class Clown in the high school yearbook, so I was always turning to comedy and laughter to heal and to get me through things. - Guillermo Diaz
Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I tell them that if they will occupy themselves with the study of mathematics they will find it the best remedy against the lusts of the flesh. - Thomas Mann
With the steady disintegration of the family in modern society over the last century, the role of the school in bridging the gap has become vital. - Stephen Covey
Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey
see also College, School & Redneck Sections
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Accurate Pie Chart
Apple Pi
Catholic Math
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Cheat of the Year
Chocolate Math
Constipated Mathematician
Dancing Mathematician
Detroit High School - Math Proficiency Exam
Epic Pi
Ethiopian Math
Expandable Equation
Girlfriend Math
Hangman Math
Hot Dog Math
How Can This Be True, Math Nerds?
Illusive Dice
Kwik-Mart Math
Logic, Math & Reasoning Quotes
Long Math Class
Ma & Pa Math: 5 into 25 equals 14
Math Clock
Math Dice
Math in Africa
Math Mug
Math Puzzle
Math Riddle
Math Watch
Mathematician’s Truck
Mennonite Longhand Math
Phone Number Magic Trick
Pi Chart
Proof That 7 x 13 = 28
Snake Math
Teacher Arrested at Airport
WalMart Math
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