Redneck Math

Pi are squared, aren’t they?


Teacher:   “What is the area of a circle, Bubba - Pi R^2?”
Bubba:   “Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.”

Teacher:   “What is a proof?”
Bubba:   “One-half percent of alcohol.”



QuotaBills
Mathematics knows no races or geographic boundaries. - David Hilbert

Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko

I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar

Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain

Mathematics has given economics rigor, but alas, also mortis. - Robert Heilbroner

If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics. - Francis Bacon

Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. - Edmund Burke

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who aren't. - Unknown

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

If I feel unhappy, I do mathematics to become happy. If I am happy, I do mathematics to keep happy. - Alfred Renyi

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus

Mathematics is distinguished from all other sciences except only ethics, in standing in no need of ethics. - Charles Peirce

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor

There are advantages to being President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret. - Ronald Reagan

Mathematics is like checkers in being suitable for the young, not too difficult, amusing, and without peril to the state. - Plato

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right. - Jack Nicholson

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok

A formal manipulator in mathematics often experiences the discomforting feeling that his pencil surpasses him in intelligence. - Howard Eves

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true. - Rene Descartes

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

When I finished school, I took one of those career-aptitude tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime. - Tim Cavanagh

Mathematics is not a careful march down a well-cleared highway, but a journey into a strange wilderness where the explorers often get lost. - W.S. Anglin

Mathematics began to seem too much like puzzle solving. Physics is puzzle solving, too, but of puzzles created by nature, not by the mind of man. - Maria G. Mayer

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen

If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown


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20-Feb-2020