Elephant Stew

Recipe for a Large Family Reunion


Cut one elephant into bit-sized pieces. This will take about two months.

Cover with brown gravy and cook over a kerosene fire for four weeks at 465 degrees.

If more than 3,800 guests are expected, add 2 rabbits. But only if absolutely necessary, as most people do not like hare in their stew.




QuotaBills
Talk doesn't cook rice. - Chinese Proverb

Warren: Good name for a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

Done the elephants, done the poverty. - Phil Tufnell

Be brave, little rabbit. Take a chance. - Cherise Sinclair

The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand

I'm tired of recipes assuming I have a stove. - Kevin Farzad

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

The elephant does not limp when walking on thorns. - African Proverb

Anything related to elephants is irrelephant. - Unknown

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child

I'm a terrible cook, but I make very good lobster salad. - Nancy Carell

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

Smoke detectors are basically just you-suck-at-cooking detectors. - Julius Sharpe

Lawyers are like rabbits. They have a nasty habit of multiplying. - Leo Reilly

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it. - Lao Tzu

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. - Herb Caen

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

The only good thing about him is his cook. The world visits his dinners, not him. - Moliere

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

What is so real as the cry of a child? A rabbit's cry may be wilder but it has no soul. - Sylvia Plath

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit. - R.E. Shay

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx

His wallet is more capacious than an elephant's scrotum and just as difficult to get your hands on. - Blackadder

Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen. - John Steinbeck

In the words of Harry S. Truman, "If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook." - Archie Bunker

Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child

You describe the elephant by its size, but the mosquito by its impact. Even the smallest thing has an impact. - Celia Apeagyei-Collins

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning. - John Barrymore

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since. - Salvador Dali

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't... and that's a spouse who can't cook and will. - Robert Frost

I cook croquetas, and I eat jamon. I keep my diet 100% Mediterranean and drink my Rioja. In that sense, I have a piece of Spain in West Hollywood. - Paz Vega


see also   Animal  Section
African Car Wash
Animal Groups
Canada’s Concrete Pink Elephant
Do Not Feed The Animals
Downhill Safari
Elephant Blues
Elephant Breath
Elephant Bus
Elephant Circumcision
Elephant Dung Decorative Paper
Elephant Enema
Elephant Haircut
Elephant Hand
Elephant Heist
Elephant Instructions
Elephant Ludo
Elephant Nest
Elephant Phonics
Elephant Soccer
Elephant Sunset
Elephant Trampoline
Elephant’s Long Memory
Herd Mentality
Hide & Seek
How Many Elephant Legs?
Identity Theft
IrrElephant
Kermit Frog Loan
King Of The Jungle
Let ’Er Rip
Looking For Something?
Maybe My Job Is Not So Bad After All
No-Elephant Building
Overloaded
Pooped Out Playground
Potty Training An Elephant
Professional Test
River Crossing
Serengeti Tug of War
Stretch Elephants
This Is My Road
Touching Elephant Story
Trunk Sleeper
Viagra Elephant
Weight Wait
When You Cross an Elephant with a Rhinoceros
Zebra Keyboard

 

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04-Dec-2020