Elephant Stew

Recipe for a Large Family Reunion


Cut one elephant into bit-sized pieces. This will take about two months.

Cover with brown gravy and cook over a kerosene fire for four weeks at 465 degrees.

If more than 3,800 guests are expected, add 2 rabbits. But only if absolutely necessary, as most people do not like hare in their stew.




QuotaBills
Hunger is a good cook. - Proverb

Warren: Good name for a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Rabbit: Hare today, mink tomorrow - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hare Brush: Used to groom a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Char: Common method of cooking over a campfire - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm tired of recipes assuming I have a stove. - Kevin Farzad

Leftovers: 1. Mull-again stew; 2. Repast history. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The elephant does not limp when walking on thorns. - African Proverb

Anything related to elephants is irrelephant. - Unknown

Elephino: Cross between an Elephant and a Rhinoceros - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Poultry is for the cook what canvas is for the painter. - Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one. - Russian Proverb

I'm a terrible cook, but I make very good lobster salad. - Nancy Carell

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

Lawyers are like rabbits. They have a nasty habit of multiplying. - Leo Reilly

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay

Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby's to work for McDonald's. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it. - Lao Tzu

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation. - Madame Benoit

What is so real as the cry of a child? A rabbit's cry may be wilder but it has no soul. - Sylvia Plath

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson

His wallet is more capacious than an elephant's scrotum and just as difficult to get your hands on. - Blackadder

In the words of Harry S. Truman, "If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook." - Archie Bunker

Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child

You describe the elephant by its size, but the mosquito by its impact. Even the smallest thing has an impact. - Celia Apeagyei-Collins

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning. - John Barrymore

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't... and that's a spouse who can't cook and will. - Robert Frost

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg


see also   Animal  Section
African Car Wash
Animal Groups
Canada’s Concrete Pink Elephant
Do Not Feed The Animals
Downhill Safari
Elephant Blues
Elephant Breath
Elephant Bus
Elephant Circumcision
Elephant Dung Decorative Paper
Elephant Enema
Elephant Haircut
Elephant Hand
Elephant Heist
Elephant Instructions
Elephant Ludo
Elephant Nest
Elephant Phonics
Elephant Soccer
Elephant Sunset
Elephant Trampoline
Elephant’s Long Memory
Herd Mentality
Hide & Seek
How Many Elephant Legs?
Identity Theft
IrrElephant
Kermit Frog Loan
King Of The Jungle
Let ’Er Rip
Looking For Something?
Maybe My Job Is Not So Bad After All
No-Elephant Building
Overloaded
Pooped Out Playground
Potty Training An Elephant
Professional Test
River Crossing
Serengeti Tug of War
Stretch Elephants
This Is My Road
Touching Elephant Story
Trunk Sleeper
Viagra Elephant
Weight Wait
When You Cross an Elephant with a Rhinoceros
Zebra Keyboard

 

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02-Dec-2021