Elephant Stew

Recipe for a Large Family Reunion


Cut one elephant into bit-sized pieces. This will take about two months.

Cover with brown gravy and cook over a kerosene fire for four weeks at 465 degrees.

If more than 3,800 guests are expected, add 2 rabbits. But only if absolutely necessary, as most people do not like hare in their stew.




QuotaBills
Talk doesn't cook rice. - Chinese Proverb

Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

Rabbit: Hare today, mink tomorrow - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hare Brush: Used to groom a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

The elephant does not limp when walking on thorns. - African Proverb

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one. - Russian Proverb

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When two elephants fight it is the grass that gets trampled. - African Proverb

I'm a terrible cook, but I make very good lobster salad. - Nancy Carell

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

Smoke detectors are basically just you-suck-at-cooking detectors. - Julius Sharpe

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it. - Lao Tzu

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. - Todd Stocker

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. - Herb Caen

The only good thing about him is his cook. The world visits his dinners, not him. - Moliere

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation. - Madame Benoit

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. - Carl Jung

I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require as much cooking. - Carrie Snow

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson

His wallet is more capacious than an elephant's scrotum and just as difficult to get your hands on. - Blackadder

Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen. - John Steinbeck

In the words of Harry S. Truman, "If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook." - Archie Bunker

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning. - John Barrymore

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

I love spaghetti. And I like to cook spaghetti. And I used to eat it every day. I weighed thirty pounds more than I do now. - Christopher Walken

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


see also   Animal  Section
African Car Wash
Animal Groups
Canada’s Concrete Pink Elephant
Do Not Feed The Animals
Downhill Safari
Elephant Blues
Elephant Breath
Elephant Bus
Elephant Circumcision
Elephant Dung Decorative Paper
Elephant Enema
Elephant Haircut
Elephant Hand
Elephant Heist
Elephant Instructions
Elephant Ludo
Elephant Nest
Elephant Phonics
Elephant Soccer
Elephant Sunset
Elephant Trampoline
Elephant’s Long Memory
Herd Mentality
Hide & Seek
How Many Elephant Legs?
Identity Theft
IrrElephant
Kermit Frog Loan
King Of The Jungle
Let ’Er Rip
Looking For Something?
Maybe My Job Is Not So Bad After All
No-Elephant Building
Overloaded
Pooped Out Playground
Potty Training An Elephant
Professional Test
River Crossing
Serengeti Tug of War
Stretch Elephants
This Is My Road
Touching Elephant Story
Trunk Sleeper
Viagra Elephant
Weight Wait
When You Cross an Elephant with a Rhinoceros
Zebra Keyboard

 

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02-Jul-2022