Elephant Stew

Recipe for a Large Family Reunion


Cut one elephant into bit-sized pieces. This will take about two months.

Cover with brown gravy and cook over a kerosene fire for four weeks at 465 degrees.

If more than 3,800 guests are expected, add 2 rabbits. But only if absolutely necessary, as most people do not like hare in their stew.




QuotaBills
Hunger is a good cook. - Proverb

Talk doesn't cook rice. - Chinese Proverb

Warren: Good name for a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

Done the elephants, done the poverty. - Phil Tufnell

Be brave, little rabbit. Take a chance. - Cherise Sinclair

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Anything related to elephants is irrelephant. - Unknown

Elephino: Cross between an Elephant and a Rhinoceros - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one. - Russian Proverb

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child

I'm a terrible cook, but I make very good lobster salad. - Nancy Carell

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

Smoke detectors are basically just you-suck-at-cooking detectors. - Julius Sharpe

Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist. - G K Chesterton

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. - Herb Caen

The only good thing about him is his cook. The world visits his dinners, not him. - Moliere

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit. - R.E. Shay

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson

His wallet is more capacious than an elephant's scrotum and just as difficult to get your hands on. - Blackadder

Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen. - John Steinbeck

You describe the elephant by its size, but the mosquito by its impact. Even the smallest thing has an impact. - Celia Apeagyei-Collins

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

I love spaghetti. And I like to cook spaghetti. And I used to eat it every day. I weighed thirty pounds more than I do now. - Christopher Walken

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman


see also   Animal  Section
African Car Wash
Animal Groups
Canada’s Concrete Pink Elephant
Do Not Feed The Animals
Downhill Safari
Elephant Blues
Elephant Breath
Elephant Bus
Elephant Circumcision
Elephant Dung Decorative Paper
Elephant Enema
Elephant Haircut
Elephant Hand
Elephant Heist
Elephant Instructions
Elephant Ludo
Elephant Nest
Elephant Phonics
Elephant Soccer
Elephant Sunset
Elephant Trampoline
Elephant’s Long Memory
Herd Mentality
Hide & Seek
How Many Elephant Legs?
Identity Theft
IrrElephant
Kermit Frog Loan
King Of The Jungle
Let ’Er Rip
Looking For Something?
Maybe My Job Is Not So Bad After All
No-Elephant Building
Overloaded
Pooped Out Playground
Potty Training An Elephant
Professional Test
River Crossing
Serengeti Tug of War
Stretch Elephants
This Is My Road
Touching Elephant Story
Trunk Sleeper
Viagra Elephant
Weight Wait
When You Cross an Elephant with a Rhinoceros
Zebra Keyboard

 

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06-Jun-2020