“One Drink A Day” Schedule

Just following the Doc’s liberal drinking guidelines...


The Doctor ordered his patient to have not more than one drink a day.

The next week the patient reported that he was following orders and was up to March, 2018.


QuotaBills
Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Liquor talks mighty loud when it gets loose from the jug. - Joel C Harris

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. - Phyllis Diller

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison


see also   Beer  &  Doctor  Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Bartender Spill
Costco Wine
Cup That Runneth Over
Female Attraction
Flower Shop For Men
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Long, Happy Marriage
Looking For Your Wife?
One Glass Per Day
One Slice
Real Man’s Point System
Red Wine Diet
Redneck Wine Glass
Romance Lost
Secret of a Good Marriage
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Understanding Women

 

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31-May-2020