The Doctor ordered his patient to have not more than one drink a day. Good wine needs no vine. - French Proverb Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields Liquor talks mighty loud when it gets loose from the jug. - Joel C Harris What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. - Phyllis Diller I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown see also Beer & Doctor Sections A Woman’s Mind Bartender Spill Costco Wine Cup That Runneth Over Female Attraction Flower Shop For Men iGifts Long, Happy Marriage Looking For Your Wife? One Glass Per Day One Slice Real Man’s Point System Red Wine Diet Redneck Wine Glass Romance Lost Secret of a Good Marriage Secret Of A Long Marriage Understanding Women |
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