“One Drink A Day” Schedule

Just following the Doc’s liberal drinking guidelines...


The Doctor ordered his patient to have not more than one drink a day.

The next week the patient reported that he was following orders and was up to March, 2018.


QuotaBills
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. - Phyllis Diller

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. - George Burns

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown


see also   Beer  &  Doctor  Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Bartender Spill
Costco Wine
Cup That Runneth Over
Female Attraction
Flower Shop For Men
iGifts
Long, Happy Marriage
Looking For Your Wife?
One Glass Per Day
One Slice
Real Man’s Point System
Red Wine Diet
Redneck Wine Glass
Romance Lost
Secret of a Good Marriage
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Understanding Women

 

Despicable Watermelon

Popcorn Cremation

Bus Stop

Police De-Tail: Down-Wind Protocol

Tell Me Why You Can't Work

Canadian Drive-Thru

'Light Through Planes' Art

Time Is Free

Fashion Decisions

Harley Truck

Bird Person

Finger Cup

Voices In My Head

Carousel Escape

Grandma Was Here

Dinosaur Veterinarian

Reflective Art

Lord Of The Watch

Vegan Cell Phone

Coffee Bean Grinder
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

03-Aug-2020