Ode To A Turkey

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop;
Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was something that I had to know.
His look and his tone I will always remember,
When he told me of the horrors of ‘Black November’...

“Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you’ll get six meals instead of just three,
And soon you’ll be thick, where once you were thin,
And you’ll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin.

And then one morning, when you’re warm in your bed,
In’ll burst the farmer’s wife, and hack off your head;
Then she’ll pluck out all your feathers so you’re bald ’n pink,
And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin’ in the sink.”

Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat;
And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I’d have to lay low and remain overlooked.

I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola;
And as they ate pastries, chocolates and grapes,
I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes;

I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
But ’twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;

And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;
So now I’m a pet in the farmer’s wife’s lap;
I haven’t a worry, so I eat and I nap.

She held me today, while sewing and humming,
And smiled at me and said, “Christmas is coming!”

QuotaBills
Dancing is silent poetry. - Simonides

Vice Versa: Dirty Italian poetry - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I want to make a poem of my life. - Yukio Mishima

The poetry of earth is never dead. - John Keats

A poem begins with a lump in the throat. - Robert Frost

Eternity is two people and a roast turkey. - James Dent

Here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock. - William Shakespeare

You campaign in poetry; you govern in prose. - Mario Cuomo

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Pure mathematics is the poetry of logical ideas. - Albert Einstein

Poetry is the clear expression of mixed feelings. - W H Auden

No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks. - St. Ambrose

Poetry is about the grief. Politics is about the grievance. - Robert Frost

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

For all that has been - thanks.
For all that will be - yes. - Dag Hammarskjold

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. - Emo Philips

We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. - Unknown

Thanksgiving, to be truly Thanksgiving, is first thanks, then giving. - Jacob Braude

Most people ignore most poetry because most poetry ignores most people. - Adrian Mitchell

Thanks to this man I've gone from over-the-counter to over-the-barrel. - Unknown

There is no money in poetry, but then there is no poetry in money, either. - Robert Graves

Proper names are poetry in the raw. Like all poetry they are untranslatable. - W H Auden

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words. - Robert Frost

I have never started a poem yet whose end I knew. Writing a poem is discovering. - Robert Frost

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

Stuff: What people do on Thanksgiving: First to the turkey, and then to themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Poetry spills from the cracks of a broken heart, but flows from one which is loved. - Christopher P. Rubero

Go see that turkey for yourself, and see for yourself why you shouldn't see it. - Samuel Goldwyn

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight. I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too. - Pablo Neruda

Thanks you for being a part of my life, whether you were a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. - Unknown

There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope. - Oscar Wilde

Some people will tell you there is a great deal of poetry and fine sentiment in a chest of tea. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I love Thanksgiving turkey - it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

He lives the poetry that he cannot write. The others write the poetry that they dare not realize. - Oscar Wilde

We would worry less if we praised more. Thanksgiving is the enemy of discontent and dissatisfaction. - Harry Ironside

The greatest ideas, the most profound thoughts, and the most beautiful poetry are born from the womb of silence. - William A. Ward

I do not see how a man can work on the frontiers of physics and write poetry at the same time. They are in opposition. - Paul Dirac

Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip

My favourite poem is the one that starts, "Thirty days hath September" because it actually tells you something. - Groucho Marx

When my wife says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have just enough time to fly to space and write a poem on the moon before we go. - Mike Vanatta

see also Christmas, Food & Turkey Sections
Going Cold Turkey
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Happy Thanksgiving, Y’all!
How To Cook A Turkey
Redneck Thanksgiving
Redneck Turkey Shoot
Run, Turkey, Run!
Thanksgiving Harvest Time
Too Much Turkey
Turkey Recipe
Turkey Weather Forecast
’Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

Ode To A Turkey

Remembering the horrors of Black November

02-Jul-2022