Ode To A Turkey

Remembering the horrors of Black November

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop;
Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was something that I had to know.
His look and his tone I will always remember,
When he told me of the horrors of ‘Black November’...

“Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you’ll get six meals instead of just three,
And soon you’ll be thick, where once you were thin,
And you’ll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin.

And then one morning, when you’re warm in your bed,
In’ll burst the farmer’s wife, and hack off your head;
Then she’ll pluck out all your feathers so you’re bald ’n pink,
And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin’ in the sink.”

Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat;
And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I’d have to lay low and remain overlooked.

I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola;
And as they ate pastries, chocolates and grapes,
I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes;

I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
But ’twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;

And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;
So now I’m a pet in the farmer’s wife’s lap;
I haven’t a worry, so I eat and I nap.

She held me today, while sewing and humming,
And smiled at me and said, “Christmas is coming!”



Turkey runs around happy thanksgiving display
QuotaBills
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Reverse: Repeating poetry - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Music is the poetry of the air. - Jean Paul Richter

Love is the poetry of the senses. - Honore de Balzac

The poetry of earth is never dead. - John Keats

Poetry should only occupy the idle. - Lord Byron

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery

A poem begins in delight and ends in wisdom. - Robert Frost

Poetry begins in delight and ends in wisdom. - Robert Frost

Pure mathematics is the poetry of logical ideas. - Albert Einstein

It is always fatal to have music or poetry interrupted. - George Eliot

Poetry is about the grief. Politics is about the grievance. - Robert Frost

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

The United States themselves are essentially the greatest poem. - Walt Whitman

For all that has been - thanks.
For all that will be - yes. - Dag Hammarskjold

Poetry is the statement of a relation between a man and the world. - Wallace Stevens

History is a cyclic poem written by time upon the memories of man. - Percy Bysshe Shelley

We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. - Unknown

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

Thanks to this man I've gone from over-the-counter to over-the-barrel. - Unknown

There is no money in poetry, but then there is no poetry in money, either. - Robert Graves

Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. - Unknown

Proper names are poetry in the raw. Like all poetry they are untranslatable. - W H Auden

I have nature and art and poetry, and if that is not enough, what is enough? - Vincent van Gogh

Books of poetry by young writers are usually promissory notes that are never met. - Oscar Wilde

The dark night was the first book of poetry, and the constellations were the poems. - Chet Raymo

Go see that turkey for yourself, and see for yourself why you shouldn't see it. - Samuel Goldwyn

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight. I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too. - Pablo Neruda

Some people will tell you there is a great deal of poetry and fine sentiment in a chest of tea. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

He lives the poetry that he cannot write. The others write the poetry that they dare not realize. - Oscar Wilde

Your majesty, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and Madame Houde thanks you from her bottom too. - Camillein Houde

I do not see how a man can work on the frontiers of physics and write poetry at the same time. They are in opposition. - Paul Dirac

My favourite poem is the one that starts, "Thirty days hath September" because it actually tells you something. - Groucho Marx

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. - I Thessalonians 5:16-18

If I had my life to live over again, I would have made a rule to read some poetry and listen to some music at least once every week. - Charles Darwin

When my wife says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have just enough time to fly to space and write a poem on the moon before we go. - Mike Vanatta

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin


see also   ChristmasFood  &  Turkey  Sections
Going Cold Turkey
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Happy Thanksgiving, Y’all!
How To Cook A Turkey
Redneck Thanksgiving
Redneck Turkey Shoot
Run, Turkey, Run!
Thanksgiving Harvest Time
Too Much Turkey
Turkey Recipe
Turkey Weather Forecast
’Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

 

Sing It Out

Cold One

Cheerful Trees

Rooftop Steps

Racing a 'Hot Rod'

Nemo Found at Japanese Sushi Bar

Painting The Center Line

Kitchen Recycling

Work Not

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Car-nage

Noah's 2021 Ark

First Dodge Ram

Redneck Wedding Limo

Commas Save Lives
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

02-Mar-2021