Ode To A Turkey

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop;
Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was something that I had to know.
His look and his tone I will always remember,
When he told me of the horrors of ‘Black November’...

“Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you’ll get six meals instead of just three,
And soon you’ll be thick, where once you were thin,
And you’ll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin.

And then one morning, when you’re warm in your bed,
In’ll burst the farmer’s wife, and hack off your head;
Then she’ll pluck out all your feathers so you’re bald ’n pink,
And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin’ in the sink.”

Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat;
And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I’d have to lay low and remain overlooked.

I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola;
And as they ate pastries, chocolates and grapes,
I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes;

I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
But ’twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;

And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;
So now I’m a pet in the farmer’s wife’s lap;
I haven’t a worry, so I eat and I nap.

She held me today, while sewing and humming,
And smiled at me and said, “Christmas is coming!”

QuotaBills
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Dancing is silent poetry. - Simonides

I want to make a poem of my life. - Yukio Mishima

A poem begins with a lump in the throat. - Robert Frost

A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery

You can't write poetry on the computer. - Quentin Tarantino

Here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock. - William Shakespeare

You campaign in poetry; you govern in prose. - Mario Cuomo

All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling. - Oscar Wilde

Poetry begins in delight and ends in wisdom. - Robert Frost

She moved like a poem and smiled like a sphinx. - Laini Taylor

No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks. - St. Ambrose

Poetry is about the grief. Politics is about the grievance. - Robert Frost

A peacock that rests on his feathers is just another turkey. - Dolly Parton

Prose is a museum, where all the old weapons of poetry are kept. - T.E. Hulme

There is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem. - Booker T Washington

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

Most people ignore most poetry because most poetry ignores most people. - Adrian Mitchell

Thanks to this man I've gone from over-the-counter to over-the-barrel. - Unknown

Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. - Unknown

Proper names are poetry in the raw. Like all poetry they are untranslatable. - W H Auden

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words. - Robert Frost

I have never started a poem yet whose end I knew. Writing a poem is discovering. - Robert Frost

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

The dark night was the first book of poetry, and the constellations were the poems. - Chet Raymo

Go see that turkey for yourself, and see for yourself why you shouldn't see it. - Samuel Goldwyn

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight. I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too. - Pablo Neruda

Thanks you for being a part of my life, whether you were a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. - Unknown

Some people will tell you there is a great deal of poetry and fine sentiment in a chest of tea. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

He lives the poetry that he cannot write. The others write the poetry that they dare not realize. - Oscar Wilde

Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. - W.T. Purkiser

Writing criticism is to writing fiction and poetry as hugging the shore is to sailing in the open sea. - John Updike

Your majesty, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and Madame Houde thanks you from her bottom too. - Camillein Houde

The greatest ideas, the most profound thoughts, and the most beautiful poetry are born from the womb of silence. - William A. Ward

I do not see how a man can work on the frontiers of physics and write poetry at the same time. They are in opposition. - Paul Dirac

My favourite poem is the one that starts, "Thirty days hath September" because it actually tells you something. - Groucho Marx

Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. - I Thessalonians 5:16-18

Deals are my art form. Other people paint beautifully on canvas or write wonderful poetry. I like making deals, preferably big deals. - Donald Trump

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin

Got no checkbooks, got no banks,
Still I'd like to express my thanks -
I got the sun in the mornin'
And the moon at night. - Irving Berlin

see also Christmas, Food & Turkey Sections
Going Cold Turkey
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Happy Thanksgiving, Y’all!
How To Cook A Turkey
Redneck Thanksgiving
Redneck Turkey Shoot
Run, Turkey, Run!
Thanksgiving Harvest Time
Too Much Turkey
Turkey Recipe
Turkey Weather Forecast
’Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

Ode To A Turkey

Remembering the horrors of Black November

30-Mar-2020