Ode To A Turkey

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop;
Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was something that I had to know.
His look and his tone I will always remember,
When he told me of the horrors of ‘Black November’...

“Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you’ll get six meals instead of just three,
And soon you’ll be thick, where once you were thin,
And you’ll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin.

And then one morning, when you’re warm in your bed,
In’ll burst the farmer’s wife, and hack off your head;
Then she’ll pluck out all your feathers so you’re bald ’n pink,
And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin’ in the sink.”

Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat;
And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I’d have to lay low and remain overlooked.

I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola;
And as they ate pastries, chocolates and grapes,
I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes;

I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
But ’twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;

And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;
So now I’m a pet in the farmer’s wife’s lap;
I haven’t a worry, so I eat and I nap.

She held me today, while sewing and humming,
And smiled at me and said, “Christmas is coming!”

QuotaBills
Dancing is silent poetry. - Simonides

Music is the poetry of the air. - Jean Paul Richter

Love is the poetry of the senses. - Honore de Balzac

I want to make a poem of my life. - Yukio Mishima

The poetry of earth is never dead. - John Keats

Poetry should only occupy the idle. - Lord Byron

A poem begins with a lump in the throat. - Robert Frost

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery

Eternity is two people and a roast turkey. - James Dent

Here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock. - William Shakespeare

A poem begins in delight and ends in wisdom. - Robert Frost

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Poetry begins in delight and ends in wisdom. - Robert Frost

Poetry is a way of taking life by the throat. - Robert Frost

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

A peacock that rests on his feathers is just another turkey. - Dolly Parton

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

The United States themselves are essentially the greatest poem. - Walt Whitman

Prose is a museum, where all the old weapons of poetry are kept. - T.E. Hulme

For all that has been - thanks.
For all that will be - yes. - Dag Hammarskjold

There is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem. - Booker T Washington

History is a cyclic poem written by time upon the memories of man. - Percy Bysshe Shelley

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. - Emo Philips

We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. - Unknown

Most people ignore most poetry because most poetry ignores most people. - Adrian Mitchell

There is no money in poetry, but then there is no poetry in money, either. - Robert Graves

Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. - Unknown

Proper names are poetry in the raw. Like all poetry they are untranslatable. - W H Auden

Books of poetry by young writers are usually promissory notes that are never met. - Oscar Wilde

The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

The dark night was the first book of poetry, and the constellations were the poems. - Chet Raymo

Poetry spills from the cracks of a broken heart, but flows from one which is loved. - Christopher P. Rubero

Your majesty, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and Madame Houde thanks you from her bottom too. - Camillein Houde

I do not see how a man can work on the frontiers of physics and write poetry at the same time. They are in opposition. - Paul Dirac

My favourite poem is the one that starts, "Thirty days hath September" because it actually tells you something. - Groucho Marx

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

Deals are my art form. Other people paint beautifully on canvas or write wonderful poetry. I like making deals, preferably big deals. - Donald Trump

When my wife says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have just enough time to fly to space and write a poem on the moon before we go. - Mike Vanatta

see also Christmas, Food & Turkey Sections
Going Cold Turkey
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Happy Thanksgiving, Y’all!
How To Cook A Turkey
Redneck Thanksgiving
Redneck Turkey Shoot
Run, Turkey, Run!
Thanksgiving Harvest Time
Too Much Turkey
Turkey Recipe
Turkey Weather Forecast
’Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

Ode To A Turkey

Remembering the horrors of Black November

30-May-2020