A man was walking through the hills and dales of Scotland.
He stopped for a drink at a mountain stream.
An old shepherd shouted to him, “Dinna take a draught oot o the riffle, laddie; ’tis poorly wi’ the dregs o ma cattle.”
(Translation: don’t drink the water, sir; it’s full of cow dung)
The man said, “I’ll have you know I’m English. Please address me with the English language, you heathen.”
The shepherd replied, “I said use both hands. You will be able to get more in your mouth.”
Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields
Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown
Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku
RIP boiling water - you will be mist. - Unknown
Sacrilege: Shelf for bottles of holy water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feelings. - Unknown
Thirst was made for water; inquiry for truth. - C S Lewis
Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson
Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields
He was so good he would pour rose water on a toad. - Douglas Jerrold
You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb
A mixture of brandy and water spoils two good things. - Charles Lamb
We never know the worth of water till the well is dry. - English Proverb
The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb
Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright
People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water. - Charles Bukowski
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch Hedberg
You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings
The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery
My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. - Mike Myers
Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields
I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi
I ran a 100-mile marathon, and I was powered by coconut water. - Jesse Itzler
If I wear too much tartan I tend to look like a Thermos flask. - Ronnie Corbett
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb
Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte
Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb
If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins
Love and work are to people, what water and sunshine are to plants. - Jonathan Haidt
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - WC Fields
I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright
Somewhere, behind space and time,
Is wetter water, slimier slime. - Rupert Brooke
An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith
Gardening requires lots of water, most of it in the form of perspiration. - Lou Erickson
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. - Dave Barry
You don't drown by falling into water. You only drown if you stay there. - Zig Ziglar
A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin
Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha
Kilt: A costume sometimes worn by Scotsmen in America and Americans in Scotland - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
As far as single payer, it works in Canada. It works incredibly well in Scotland. - Donald Trump
Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water. - Swedish Proverb
You can lead a herring to water, but you have to walk really fast or he'll die. - Rose
Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour
The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway
A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt
We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb
Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying
It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones
I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams
What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid
Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry
When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling
I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo
Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora
Gold and diamonds are nice, but clean, crisp, controlled water has long been the preeminent hallmark of the rich. - Anthony Doerr
Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie
Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom. - Arthur Golden
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields
Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes
From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Arthur Conan Doyle
The great outdoors is a theme with me; a walking holiday in Scotland is perfect - Culloden and the forests of Aviemore are both favourites. - Erin O'Connor
Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson
Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown
Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku
RIP boiling water - you will be mist. - Unknown
Sacrilege: Shelf for bottles of holy water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feelings. - Unknown
Thirst was made for water; inquiry for truth. - C S Lewis
Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson
Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields
He was so good he would pour rose water on a toad. - Douglas Jerrold
You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb
A mixture of brandy and water spoils two good things. - Charles Lamb
We never know the worth of water till the well is dry. - English Proverb
The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb
Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright
People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water. - Charles Bukowski
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch Hedberg
You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings
The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery
My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. - Mike Myers
Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields
I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi
I ran a 100-mile marathon, and I was powered by coconut water. - Jesse Itzler
If I wear too much tartan I tend to look like a Thermos flask. - Ronnie Corbett
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb
Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte
Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb
If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins
Love and work are to people, what water and sunshine are to plants. - Jonathan Haidt
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - WC Fields
I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright
Somewhere, behind space and time,
Is wetter water, slimier slime. - Rupert Brooke
An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith
Gardening requires lots of water, most of it in the form of perspiration. - Lou Erickson
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. - Dave Barry
You don't drown by falling into water. You only drown if you stay there. - Zig Ziglar
A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin
Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha
Kilt: A costume sometimes worn by Scotsmen in America and Americans in Scotland - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
As far as single payer, it works in Canada. It works incredibly well in Scotland. - Donald Trump
Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water. - Swedish Proverb
You can lead a herring to water, but you have to walk really fast or he'll die. - Rose
Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour
The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway
A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt
We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb
Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying
It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones
I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams
What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid
Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry
When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling
I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo
Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora
Gold and diamonds are nice, but clean, crisp, controlled water has long been the preeminent hallmark of the rich. - Anthony Doerr
Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie
Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom. - Arthur Golden
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields
Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes
From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Arthur Conan Doyle
The great outdoors is a theme with me; a walking holiday in Scotland is perfect - Culloden and the forests of Aviemore are both favourites. - Erin O'Connor
Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson
see also Nationality Section
Scottish Choices
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24-Jan-2021 |