Father Load

Father of the Year

A little prevention goes a long way


A man boarded a plane with 6 kids.

After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, “Are all of those kids yours?”

He replied, “No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.”


QuotaBills
Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

I was with book, as a woman is with child. - C S Lewis

It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare

One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters. - George Herbert

The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get. - Tim Russert

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

The two things children wear out are clothes and parents. - Unknown

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. - Joe Houldsworth

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us. - Stephen Colbert

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. - The Princess Bride

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! - Lydia Child

Experience is the child of thought, and thought is the child of action. - Benjamin Disraeli

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. - Dave Barry

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. - Pablo Picasso

When I see my granddaughters make small discoveries of their own, I wish I were a child. - Dr. Seuss

It's not that age brings childhood back again. Age merely shows what children we remain. - Goethe

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. - Steven Wright

Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. - Franklin P. Jones

A man who gives his children habits of industry provides for them better than by giving them a fortune. - Richard Whately

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

I look back on my childhood and thank the stars above. For everything you gave me, but mostly for your love. - Wayne F Winters

Enthusiasm is the inspiration of everything great. Without it no man is to be feared, and with it none despised. - Christian Nevell Bovee

Let early education be a sort of amusement; you will then better be able to find out the natural bent of the child. - Plato

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

Spare the rod and spoil the child - that is true. But, beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well. - Martin Luther

I was forced to live far beyond my years when just a child, now I have reversed the order and I intend to remain young indefinitely. - Mary Pickford

My father instilled in me that if you don't see things happening the way you want them to, you get out there and make them happen. - Susan Powter

If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales. - Albert Einstein

Abundance and vigor of automatic movements are desirable, and even a considerable degree of restlessness is a good sign in young children. - G Stanley Hall

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

Blessed be Providence which has given to each his toy: the doll to the child, the child to the woman, the woman to the man, the man to the devil. - Victor Hugo

Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey


see also   Family  &  Kids  Sections
 

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25-May-2020