Shot my first turkey yesterday.
Scared the crap out of everyone in the frozen food section.
It was awesome.
Never shoot more than you can eat. - Unknown
Eternity is two people and a roast turkey. - James Dent
Nobody ever died of being shot by a cookie. - Ilona Andrews
Here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock. - William Shakespeare
Aim high and you won’t shoot your foot off. - Phyllis Diller
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? - Steven Wright
Thanks, Darth Obvious. Or is it Emperor Palpable? - Chuck Wendig
Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself. - Unknown
Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. - Christopher Morley
Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best. - Oscar Wilde
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? - George Carlin
Serenity is knowing that your worst shot is still pretty good. - Johnny Miller
As I like to say, take the shot, even if your knees are shaking. - Robin Roberts
For all that has been - thanks.
For all that will be - yes. - Dag Hammarskjold
I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago. I shot my broker. - Groucho Marx
Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot. - Charlie Chaplin
We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. - Unknown
Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander
Thanks to this man I've gone from over-the-counter to over-the-barrel. - Unknown
Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. - Unknown
All I can say is, if they show my butt in a movie, it better be a wide shot. - Jennifer Lopez
The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller
Thanksgiving is the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. - Michael Dresser
Go see that turkey for yourself, and see for yourself why you shouldn't see it. - Samuel Goldwyn
Grandchildren are God's rewards to grandparents for not shooting their children. - Unknown
Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite so satisfying as an income tax refund. - Unknown
I love Thanksgiving turkey - it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx
Consultants are people who come down from the hill to shoot the wounded after the battle is over. - Doc Blakeley
Your majesty, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and Madame Houde thanks you from her bottom too. - Camillein Houde
I never hit a shot, not even in practice, without having a very sharp, in-focus picture of it in my head. - Jack Nicklaus
All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg. - Bjarne Stroustrup
I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson
When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky
Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. - I Thessalonians 5:16-18
What are fears but voices airy?
Whispering harm where harm is not.
And deluding the unwary
Till the fatal bolt is shot! - William Wordsworth
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin
Eternity is two people and a roast turkey. - James Dent
Nobody ever died of being shot by a cookie. - Ilona Andrews
Here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock. - William Shakespeare
Aim high and you won’t shoot your foot off. - Phyllis Diller
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? - Steven Wright
Thanks, Darth Obvious. Or is it Emperor Palpable? - Chuck Wendig
Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself. - Unknown
Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. - Christopher Morley
Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best. - Oscar Wilde
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? - George Carlin
Serenity is knowing that your worst shot is still pretty good. - Johnny Miller
As I like to say, take the shot, even if your knees are shaking. - Robin Roberts
For all that has been - thanks.
For all that will be - yes. - Dag Hammarskjold
I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago. I shot my broker. - Groucho Marx
Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot. - Charlie Chaplin
We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. - Unknown
Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander
Thanks to this man I've gone from over-the-counter to over-the-barrel. - Unknown
Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. - Unknown
All I can say is, if they show my butt in a movie, it better be a wide shot. - Jennifer Lopez
The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller
Thanksgiving is the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. - Michael Dresser
Go see that turkey for yourself, and see for yourself why you shouldn't see it. - Samuel Goldwyn
Grandchildren are God's rewards to grandparents for not shooting their children. - Unknown
Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite so satisfying as an income tax refund. - Unknown
I love Thanksgiving turkey - it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx
Consultants are people who come down from the hill to shoot the wounded after the battle is over. - Doc Blakeley
Your majesty, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and Madame Houde thanks you from her bottom too. - Camillein Houde
I never hit a shot, not even in practice, without having a very sharp, in-focus picture of it in my head. - Jack Nicklaus
All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg. - Bjarne Stroustrup
I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson
When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky
Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. - I Thessalonians 5:16-18
What are fears but voices airy?
Whispering harm where harm is not.
And deluding the unwary
Till the fatal bolt is shot! - William Wordsworth
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin
see also Hunting & Thanksgiving Sections
Going Cold Turkey
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Happy Turkey Day
How To Cook A Turkey
Ode To A Turkey
Redneck Thanksgiving
Run, Turkey, Run!
Thanksgiving Harvest Time
Too Much Turkey
Turkey Recipe
Turkey Weather Forecast
’Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving
 2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3) |  Science Project Turmoil |  Parking Forever |  I've Got Time |  Red Wine Diet |
 Nice Try, Mom |  Flight of the Ladybug |  Time To Retire |  Chess On The Wall |  Tree Face |
 Bad Day Flyer |  Back Bard |  St. Peter's Fish |  Feed Me |  Horse Model |
09-Dec-2019 |