Shot my first turkey yesterday.
Scared the crap out of everyone in the frozen food section.
It was awesome.
Shoot folly as it flies. - Alexander Pope
Never shoot more than you can eat. - Unknown
Eternity is two people and a roast turkey. - James Dent
Here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock. - William Shakespeare
Aim high and you won’t shoot your foot off. - Phyllis Diller
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? - Steven Wright
Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best. - Oscar Wilde
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer? - Steven Wright
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? - George Carlin
I was an equal opportunity eater. Every ethnic group got a shot. - Bill Clinton
For all that has been - thanks.
For all that will be - yes. - Dag Hammarskjold
I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago. I shot my broker. - Groucho Marx
We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. - Unknown
There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result. - Winston Churchill
Shoot a few scenes out of focus. I want to win the foreign film award. - Billy Wilder
The only point in making money is, you can tell some big shot where to go. - Humphrey Bogart
Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. - Unknown
Valentine's Day is the day when you remember that Cupid was a lousy shot. - Milton Berle
Go see that turkey for yourself, and see for yourself why you shouldn't see it. - Samuel Goldwyn
Grandchildren are God's rewards to grandparents for not shooting their children. - Unknown
Amateurs practice a shot until they make it. Pros practice it until they can't miss. - Unknown
Thanks you for being a part of my life, whether you were a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. - Unknown
Attitude is everything - shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll be among the stars. - Les Brown
One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx
My mother gave me my drive, but my father gave me my dreams. Thanks to him, I could see a future. - Liza Minnelli
Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. - W.T. Purkiser
Your majesty, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and Madame Houde thanks you from her bottom too. - Camillein Houde
A critic is someone who never actually goes to the battle, yet who afterwards comes out shooting the wounded. - Tyne Daly
I became hooked on the idea of being able to shoot an image and process it myself, and end up with a product. - Leonard Nimoy
All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright
I was court-martialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan
You've probably got a device on you that can shoot decent video, so what's stopping you? Capture and share some moments. - Steve Garfield
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin
I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, okay? It's, like, incredible. - Donald Trump
What are fears but voices airy?
Whispering harm where harm is not.
And deluding the unwary
Till the fatal bolt is shot! - William Wordsworth
While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously. - Tim Allen
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin
Got no checkbooks, got no banks,
Still I'd like to express my thanks -
I got the sun in the mornin'
And the moon at night. - Irving Berlin
When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan
Hunting & Thanksgiving Sections
Going Cold Turkey
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Happy Turkey Day
How To Cook A Turkey
Ode To A Turkey
Run, Turkey, Run!
Thanksgiving Harvest Time
Too Much Turkey
Turkey Weather Forecast
’Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving
Pulled You Over
'No Fart Forest' for Extreme Fire Hazards
Study to Fail