Eye Halve A Spelling Checker

When good English isn’t good enough

Passing a dictionary test without diction


I halve a spelling checker
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marcs four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased to no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My checker tolled me sew.


QuotaBills
Silence is safer than speech. - Epictetus

Speech is silver; silence is golden. - Thomas Carlyle

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

I am disappointment in you're grammar. - Unknown

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham

Ratify: To use a spell and turn a person into a rodent - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can. - Will Rogers

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

When people are proud of their speech, be proud of your silence. - Luqman

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the first word you thought of. - Burt Bacharach

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech. - Franklin P Jones

Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Always try to use the language so as to make quite clear what you mean and make sure your sentence couldn't mean anything else. - C S Lewis

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork


see also   Daffynition  &  Language  Sections
Ode To A Spell Checker  (2001 version)
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06-Jun-2020