Eye Halve A Spelling Checker

When good English isn’t good enough

Passing a dictionary test without diction


I halve a spelling checker
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marcs four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased to no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My checker tolled me sew.


QuotaBills
The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

I'm a supporter of my free speech. - Howard Stern

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

Speech is the vestibule to the palace of love. - Jami of Persia

English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A story is told as much by silence as by speech. - Susan Griffin

A fool is known by his speech; and a wise man by silence. - Pythagoras

Germlish: Training done using a mixture of English & German - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists. - C.F. Payne

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

You're not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi. - Humphrey Bogart

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so. - Gore Vidal

Silence is the language of God; it is also the language of the heart. - Sivananda

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

Wisdom is knowing when to speak your mind and when to mind your speech. - Evangel

Civilization - a heap of rubble scavenged by scrawny English Lit. vultures. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

Under all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better. - Thomas Carlyle

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

Language: The blood of the soul into which thoughts run, and out of which they grow - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

I am going to give a long speech today. I haven't had time to prepare a short one. - Winston Churchill

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky

To suppress free speech is a double wrong. It violates the rights of the hearer as well as those of the speaker. - Frederick Douglass

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip

Grammar: 1. Lives with granpar; 2. The difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You’re Nuts. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

Always try to use the language so as to make quite clear what you mean and make sure your sentence couldn't mean anything else. - C S Lewis

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas


see also   Daffynition  &  Language  Sections
Ode To A Spell Checker  (2001 version)
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22-Jan-2022