Eye Halve A Spelling Checker

When good English isn’t good enough

Passing a dictionary test without diction


I halve a spelling checker
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marcs four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased to no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My checker tolled me sew.


QuotaBills
A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Speech is the small change of silence. - George Meredith

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Francis Bacon

A story is told as much by silence as by speech. - Susan Griffin

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

A fool is known by his speech; and a wise man by silence. - Pythagoras

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

Germlish: Training done using a mixture of English & German - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can. - Will Rogers

You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists. - C.F. Payne

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

You're not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi. - Humphrey Bogart

Retire? I can't spell the word. I'd play in a wheelchair. - Keith Richards

Music is the literature of the heart; it commences where speech ends. - Alphonse de Lamartine

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Humour is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Actions, looks, words and steps form the alphabet by which you may spell character. - Johann Kasper Lavater

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

Give me a few lines of a man's handwriting; that will be sufficient for me to get him hanged. - Cardinal Richelieu

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde

Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

Grammar: 1. Lives with granpar; 2. The difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You’re Nuts. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The symbolic language of the crucifixion is the death of the old paradigm; resurrection is a leap into a whole new way of thinking. - Deepak Chopra

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas


see also   Daffynition  &  Language  Sections
Ode To A Spell Checker  (2001 version)
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28-Oct-2020