Eye Halve A Spelling Checker

When good English isn’t good enough

Passing a dictionary test without diction


I halve a spelling checker
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marcs four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased to no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My checker tolled me sew.


QuotaBills
I'm a supporter of my free speech. - Howard Stern

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

Speech is of time; silence is of eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Nothing you can't spell will ever work. - Will Rogers

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

A sage thing is timely silence, and better than any speech. - Plutarch

Germlish: Training done using a mixture of English & German - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can. - Will Rogers

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

Changes in language often reflect the changing values of a culture. - Ravi Zacharias

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so. - Gore Vidal

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Silence is the language of God; it is also the language of the heart. - Sivananda

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

Civilization - a heap of rubble scavenged by scrawny English Lit. vultures. - Malcolm Muggeridge

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Under all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better. - Thomas Carlyle

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

In the places I go there are things that I see that I never could spell if I stopped with the Z. - Dr. Seuss

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

I, schooled in misery, know many purifying rites, and I know where speech is proper and where silence. - Aeschylus

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

'Good English' is whatever educated people talk; so that what is good in one place or time would not be so in another. - C S Lewis

Charity, good behaviour, amiable speech, unselfishness - these by the chief sage have been declared the elements of popularity. - Burmese Proverb

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork


see also   Daffynition  &  Language  Sections
Ode To A Spell Checker  (2001 version)
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30-May-2020