Eye Halve A Spelling Checker

When good English isn’t good enough

Passing a dictionary test without diction


I halve a spelling checker
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marcs four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased to no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My checker tolled me sew.


QuotaBills
Humor is a universal language. - Joel Goodman

Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Francis Bacon

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

Speech is the vestibule to the palace of love. - Jami of Persia

A story is told as much by silence as by speech. - Susan Griffin

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Bulldozing: Going to sleep during a political speech. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

Quota: Someone who likes to report other people's speech - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

Reality can be lost when reason and language have been violated. - Ravi Zacharias

If you're a good numbers person, you're a bad language person. - Frank Luntz

Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language. - Gail Godwin

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

Language: The blood of the soul into which thoughts run, and out of which they grow - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - L.J. Peter

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I never made a mistake in grammar but once in my life, and as soon as I done it. I seen it. - Carl Sandburg

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God's handwriting. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

Give me a few lines of a man's handwriting; that will be sufficient for me to get him hanged. - Cardinal Richelieu

Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip

Charity, good behaviour, amiable speech, unselfishness - these by the chief sage have been declared the elements of popularity. - Burmese Proverb

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

The symbolic language of the crucifixion is the death of the old paradigm; resurrection is a leap into a whole new way of thinking. - Deepak Chopra

Always try to use the language so as to make quite clear what you mean and make sure your sentence couldn't mean anything else. - C S Lewis

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


see also   Daffynition  &  Language  Sections
Ode To A Spell Checker  (2001 version)
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26-Sep-2021