Blonde Pilot
Air traffic control to the rescue
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A blonde was flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. She frantically calls out a May Day. “May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. And I don’t know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!”  She hears a voice over the radio saying, “This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I’ve had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position.” She says, “I’m 5’4” and I support Donald Trump.” “O.K.” says the voice on the radio... “Repeat after me: Our father who art in heaven...” Owning a drone does not a pilot make. - Alex Morritt Gentlemen who prefer blondes usually marry brunettes. - Unknown Q: What do you call a blonde with brains? A: A labrador. - Lee Mack It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window. - Raymond Chandler It's great to be a blonde. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise people. - Pamela Anderson I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore It's triple the Trump this season... I invited my children, Don Jr. and Ivanka into the boardroom. - Donald Trump The seeds of learning can grow almost anywhere. Trump University and my other education-related ventures like... - Donald Trump A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse Sloth is the failure to do what needs to be done when it needs to be done - like the kamikaze pilot who flew seventeen missions. - John Ortberg These are stupid people that say, "Oh didn't Trump declare bankruptcy? Didn't he go bankrupt?" I didn't go bankrupt. - Donald Trump When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro see also Airplane, Blonde, Government & Political Sections
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