Redneck Tree Chair

Reclimbing chair - Archie Bunker

Rock Music: Sung in a rocking chair - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

The apple will fall under the apple tree. - Greek Proverb

Those who have free seats at a play hiss first. - Chinese Proverb

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. - Rodney Dangerfield

Preoccupied with a single leaf you won't see the tree. - Vagabond

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

When you think about a walking tree, laughter is the response. - John Rhys-Davies

Disbelief: How you tell someone what the green stuff on a tree is - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw. - Eileen Curtright

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

You should not paint the chair, but only what someone has felt about it. - Edvard Munch

Zealotry: 1. The enemy of idealism; 2. What a tree salesman likes to do. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend the first four hours sharpening the axe. - Abraham Lincoln

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

It's better to fall from a tree and break your back than to fall in love and break your heart. - African Proverb

Chair pose is a defiance of spirit, showing how high you can reach even when you're forced down. - Unknown

Stay in your seat come times of trouble. Its only people who jump off the roller coaster who get hurt. - Paul Harvey

Bountiful: What Captain Bligh declared after learning that one more breadfruit tree would sink his ship - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does. - George Bernard Shaw

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewellery. - John Lennon

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

I'll see you at the opera tonight. I'll hold your seat till you get there. After that, you're on your own. - Groucho Marx

It's in the democratic citizen's nature to be like a leaf that doesn't believe in the tree it's part of. - David Foster Wallace

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown