Lost Uncle Trump

Please help! Have you seen my lost uncle?

He’s a little crazy and delusional, but a nice guy... he’s 70.



Lost Uncle Trump

Sometimes he likes to dress up with a toupee or wig and a suit. Being 70, he’s a bit of a bigot. Great fun when you get a few drinks in him, and he still fancies himself a player. If you’ve seen him, please contact local police. His current wife Melania is mildly concerned.

QuotaBills
The woman that deliberates is lost. - Joseph Addison

Nobody every lost money taking a profit. - Bernard Baruch

Learning, undigested by thought, is labor lost. - Confucius

In heaven all the interesting people are missing. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Nothing is really lost until your Mom can't find it. - Unknown

Every hour of lost time is a chance of future misfortune. - Napoleon

A science which hesitates to forget its founders is lost. - Alfred North Whitehead

If we don't get lost, we'll never find a new route. - Joan Littlewood

Better to have lost and loved than never to have loved at all. - Ernest Hemingway

Living is using time given to you. You cannot recall lost time. - Pokemon

Love ceases to be a puzzle the moment you find the missing piece. - Olaotan Fawehinmi

If you don't think every day is a good day, just try missing one. - Cavett Robert

When my soul was in the lost-and-found
You came along to claim it. - Carole King

Has anyone noticed that in heaven all the interesting men are missing? - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Every rupee of profit made by an Englishman is lost for ever to India. - Edmund Burke

A man that is young in years may be old in hours, if he has lost no time. - Francis Bacon

I never stole a joke in my life. I just find them before they're lost. - Milton Berle

Was Uncle Oscar's death very untimely, you ask? Well, it was near lunch. - Archie Bunker

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty. - WC Fields

Whoever said, "It's not whether you win or lose that counts" probably lost. - Martina Navratilova

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

The joke was lost on the foreigner - guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke. - Mark Twain

Madness is loving the unsolvable puzzle of your soul and replacing the lost pieces with my own. - Shannon L. Alder

Closed in a room, my imagination becomes the universe, and the rest of the world is missing out. - Criss Jami

Never be afraid to laugh at yourself. After all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century. - Dame Edna Everage

There is no comparison between that which is lost by not succeeding and that which is lost by not trying. - Francis Bacon

Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart. - Kay Knudsen

From New Year's on the outlook brightens; good humor lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining. - Leonard Bernstein

The problem is that we always look for the missing piece of the puzzle instead of finding a place for the one in our hand. - Alina Radoi

Forgiveness is the remission of sins. For it is by this that what has been lost, and was found, is saved from being lost again. - Saint Augustine

A lost empire, lost power and lost wealth provide perfect circumstances for living happily and contentedly in our enchanted island. - Malcolm Muggeridge

These are stupid people that say, "Oh didn't Trump declare bankruptcy? Didn't he go bankrupt?" I didn't go bankrupt. - Donald Trump

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin

In the midst of the sense of tragedy or loss, sometimes laughter is not only healing, it's a way of experiencing the person that you've lost again. - Alan Alda

We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Love him or hate him, Trump is a man who is certain about what he wants and sets out to get it, no holds barred. Women find his power almost as much of a turn-on as his money. - Unknown

In the 1990s kids lost their power to reason. Less and less were they taught the very basics of language, truth, and logic and they grew up with the irrationality of a postmodern world. - Ravi Zacharias

Every time a resolve or fine glow of feeling evaporates without bearing fruit, it is worse than a chance lost; it works to hinder future emotions from taking the normal path of discharge. - William James

Never take a person for granted. Hold every person close to your heart 'cause you might wake up one day and realize that you've lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones. - Unknown


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11-Apr-2021