Donald Trump invited the Pope for lunch on his mega yacht. The Pope accepted, and during lunch, a puff of wind blew the Pontiff’s hat off, right into the water. It floated off about 50 feet, then the wind died down and it just floated away.
The crew and the security team were scrambling to launch a boat to go get it, when Trump waved them off, saying “Never mind, boys, I will get it.”
The Donald climbed over the side of the yacht, walked on the water to the hat, picked it up, walked back on the water, climbed onto the yacht, and handed the Pope his hat.
The crew was speechless. The security team and the Pope’s entourage were speechless.
No one knew what to say, not even the Pope.
But that afternoon, NBC knew how to cover the story. Their banner headline read, “Trump Can’t Swim.”
All politics is local. - Thomas P O'Neil
In politics nothing is contemptible. - Benjamin Disraeli
I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern
Man is not free unless government is limited. - Ronald Reagan
Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business. - Winston Churchill
God did not intend religion to be an exercise club. - Naguib Mahfouz
The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. - Otto von Bismarck
You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown
True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. - Louis Nizer
A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel
Democracy becomes a government of bullies tempered by editors. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim. - Russian Proverb
Diplomacy is to do and say the nastiest thing in the nicest way. - Isaac Goldberg
How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? - Jay Leno
To say nothing, especially when speaking, is half the art of diplomacy. - Will Durant
Politics is a profession where the paths of glory lead but to the gravy. - Billy Boy Franklin
To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government. - Mark Twain
The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram
Either the government will be given to us or we shall seize it by marching on Rome. - Benito Mussolini
In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher
Later, he told his nephew that religion required careful thought, not reflexive acceptance. - Thomas Jefferson
I guess you would say I'd be like the Michael Phelps of swimming if he wasn't there. - Ryan Lochte
Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner
Like a great Eastern religion says, it's all about striking a balance between the ping and the pong. - Kelly
If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don't recommend Christianity. - C S Lewis
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. - Caskie Stinnett
When governments become large, voters cannot exercise close oversight, otherwise known as political power. - Maggie Gallagher
Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns
The Muslim world is threatened by religious fanaticism. The Western world is threatened by secular fanaticism. - Dennis Prager
Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman
One of the reasons people hate politics is that truth is rarely a politician's objective. Election and power are. - Cal Thomas
It's especially hard if the government is not providing services, or is even conducting ethnic cleansing against you. - Paul Harvey
I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte
If NASA has a 14 minute delay for an event 155,000,000 miles away, hoe come NBC has a 6 hour delay for an event 3,500 miles away? - Unknown
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan
Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!' - Conan O'Brien
I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader
Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments. - Isaac Asimov
In politics nothing is contemptible. - Benjamin Disraeli
I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern
Man is not free unless government is limited. - Ronald Reagan
Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business. - Winston Churchill
God did not intend religion to be an exercise club. - Naguib Mahfouz
The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. - Otto von Bismarck
You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown
True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. - Louis Nizer
A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel
Democracy becomes a government of bullies tempered by editors. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim. - Russian Proverb
Diplomacy is to do and say the nastiest thing in the nicest way. - Isaac Goldberg
How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? - Jay Leno
To say nothing, especially when speaking, is half the art of diplomacy. - Will Durant
Politics is a profession where the paths of glory lead but to the gravy. - Billy Boy Franklin
To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government. - Mark Twain
The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram
Either the government will be given to us or we shall seize it by marching on Rome. - Benito Mussolini
In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher
Later, he told his nephew that religion required careful thought, not reflexive acceptance. - Thomas Jefferson
I guess you would say I'd be like the Michael Phelps of swimming if he wasn't there. - Ryan Lochte
Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner
Like a great Eastern religion says, it's all about striking a balance between the ping and the pong. - Kelly
If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don't recommend Christianity. - C S Lewis
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. - Caskie Stinnett
When governments become large, voters cannot exercise close oversight, otherwise known as political power. - Maggie Gallagher
Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns
The Muslim world is threatened by religious fanaticism. The Western world is threatened by secular fanaticism. - Dennis Prager
Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman
One of the reasons people hate politics is that truth is rarely a politician's objective. Election and power are. - Cal Thomas
It's especially hard if the government is not providing services, or is even conducting ethnic cleansing against you. - Paul Harvey
I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte
If NASA has a 14 minute delay for an event 155,000,000 miles away, hoe come NBC has a 6 hour delay for an event 3,500 miles away? - Unknown
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan
Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!' - Conan O'Brien
I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader
Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments. - Isaac Asimov
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