Afghan Humour

The Taliban’s national bird


Q: How do you play Taliban bingo?
A: B-52...F-16...B-1...

Q: What is the Taliban’s national bird?
A: Duck

Q: How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.

Q: Why does the Afghanistan Navy have glass bottom boats?
A: So they can see their Air Force.

Q: What do Osama Bin Laden and General Custer have in common?
A: They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming from.

Q: Why aren’t there any Wal-Marts in Afghanistan?
A. Because there’s a Target on every corner.


QuotaBills
A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

An army marches on its stomach. - Napoleon Bonaparte

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? - George Carlin

The army is the true nobility of our country. - Napoleon III

Love is not love without a violin playing goat. - Julia Roberts

Was there a bird for the souls of people like me? - Ruta Sepetys

The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship. - William Blake

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. - Groucho Marx

I now close my military career and just fade away. - Douglas MacArthur

Marketing strategy is a lot like military strategy. - Liddell Hart

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings. - William Blake

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. - Salvador Dali

Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. - Marechal Ferdinand Foch

The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars. - William Westmoreland

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

When you aim for perfection, you discover it's a moving target. - George Fisher

Like the herd animals we are, we sniff warily at the strange one among us. - Loren Eiseley

An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. - Arab Proverb

Though what bird in the best of circumstances does not look a little stricken? - Lorrie Moore

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. - Steven Wright

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

You can't hit a target you cannot see, and you cannot see a target you do not have. - Zig Ziglar

We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove. - Mark Twain

Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime. - Alphonse Allais

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same. - Stendhal

It used to be that when all else failed, a guy went into the army; now he becomes a consultant. - Blackie Sherrod

A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips will not return. - Jewish Proverb

I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach ten thousand stars how not to dance. - e e cummings

Moses was the greatest legislator and the commander in chief of perhaps the first liberation army. - Elie Wiesel

We could not understand that there was anything about a bird that could not be built on a larger scale. - Orville Wright

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

You are Mr. Owl. I am Ms. Hummingbird. We may come from different species but as long as you're a bird, I'm a bird too. - Glad Munaiseche

A male frigate bird blows up a wild red pouch on his neck. He can keep it puffed up for hours. It is his way of impressing the girls. - Julie Murphy


see also   Country  &  Nationality  Sections
Afghan Livestock Management
Afghanistan Map - Revised Edition
Miss Afghanistan Finalists

 

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16-Feb-2020