Manitoba Health Care’s Test For Alzheimers

Mr. Smith goes to the doctor’s office to collect his wife’s test results. The lab technician says to him, “I’m sorry, sir, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your wife’s. Frankly, it is either bad or terrible!” “What do you mean?” asked Mr. Smith. “Well one Mrs. Smith has tested positive for Alzheimer’s and the other Mrs. Smith has tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your wife.” “That’s terrible!” said Mr. Smith. “Can’t we do the test over?” “Normally, yes. But you have Manitoba Health Care and they won’t pay for these expensive tests more than once.” “Well, what am I supposed to do now?” asked Mr. Smith. “Manitoba Health Care recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle of town. If she finds her way home, don’t sleep with her!” QuotaBills One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx Irish Alzheimer's - you forget everything except the grudges. - Unknown Stories are memory aids, instruction manuals and moral compasses. - Aleks Krotoski We'd show an Alzheimer's survivor here, if there were one. - Unknown I have Alzheimer's bulimia - first I eat everything in sight, then I forget to puke. - Cindy Marzahn The dementia patient is not giving you a hard time. The dementia patient is having a hard time. - Kerry Kleinbergen I'd hate to be an alcoholic with Alzheimer's. Imagine needing a drink and forgetting where you put it. - George Carlin I had a job selling hearing aids from door to door. It wasn't easy, because your best prospects never answered. - Bob Monkhouse If you learn to listen for clues as to how I feel instead of what I say, you will be able to understand me much better. - Mara Botonis I have Dementia My responses may be slow. Take your time and wait for me, It means more than you can know! - Unknown Alzheimer's disease starts when a protein that should be folded up properly misfolds into a kind of demented origami. - Gregory Petsko Please promise me. If and when the day comes that I may forget who you are, please promise that you won't forget that I am still me. - Mara Botonis I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin Dementia care isn't easy. Caring for a person living with Alzheimer's or a related dementia is difficult. In fact, caring is one of the most difficult undertakings that anyone could ever imagine. - Bob deMarco Those with dementia are still people and they still have stories and they still have character and they're all individuals and they're all unique. And they just need to be interacted with on a human level. - Carey Mulligan see also   Canada  &  Medical  Sections Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s? Alzheimer’s Wing Brain Transplant Daily Exercise for Seniors Dementia Purse Dementia Relations Dreams Come True Handicap Porch Harvard Reading Test Hopscotch for Seniors Irish Alzheimers Senile Agitation Senior Center Reminder Working Past 65   Redneck Genealogy Lesson Phun with Physics Saskatchewan Harley I Don't Want To Get My Pants Wet Christopher Walken Secret Passage Redneck Wheelchair Stroller Best Hands-On Coverage When Air Was Free Changing Priorities Ahead Expired Marriage No Flies On Me Goose Walkers Read Your Book Case Trash Bin Parking Train Hits Deer Dog Face or Dog Butt? Redneck Carriage Car Fishing Trip in New Zealand Baby's Eviction Notice

05-Aug-2020