A little girl asked her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?”
Mom replies, “No, because she is in heat.”
“What’s that mean?” asked the child.
“Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.”
The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.”
Dad said, “Bring Belle over here.” He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog’s backside with it and said, “Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block.”
The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, “Where’s Belle?”
The little girl said, “She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.”
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb
France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare
Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker
A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton
Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe
Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown
A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato
A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb
How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill
The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown
Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown
The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael
He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller
If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman
Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare
Hiking in undiscovered places is a lot of fun. - Karolina Kurkova
Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers
Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. - Steven Wright
wanderer, there is no path,
the path is made by walking. - Antonio Machado
I love hiking, paddle boarding and listening to the Veronicas. - Bindi Irwin
The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck
When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey
If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney
Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten
Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown
If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb
A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel
Hiking's not for everyone. Notice the wilderness is mostly empty. - Sonja Yoerg
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores
It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump
There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly
If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one. - Dolly Parton
I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine
The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine
Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown
A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill
Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein
I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen
I can imagine few worse fates than walking around for the rest of one's life wearing a typo. - Anne Fadiman
Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno
For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy
I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley
When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson
Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely. - Hawkeye
The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown
The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright
If you like the outdoors, Colorado is a big adventure playground for adults: it's great for skiing, cycling, climbing, and hiking. - Tyler Hamilton
Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong
Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly
From lessening negativity to boosting creativity, hiking in fresh air actually boosts brain power and can help certain parts of the brain grow. - Meredith Carey
Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros
France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare
Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker
A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton
Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe
Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown
A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato
A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb
How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill
The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown
Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown
The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael
He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller
If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman
Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare
Hiking in undiscovered places is a lot of fun. - Karolina Kurkova
Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers
Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. - Steven Wright
wanderer, there is no path,
the path is made by walking. - Antonio Machado
I love hiking, paddle boarding and listening to the Veronicas. - Bindi Irwin
The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck
When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey
If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney
Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten
Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown
If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb
A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel
Hiking's not for everyone. Notice the wilderness is mostly empty. - Sonja Yoerg
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores
It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump
There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly
If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one. - Dolly Parton
I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine
The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine
Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown
A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill
Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein
I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen
I can imagine few worse fates than walking around for the rest of one's life wearing a typo. - Anne Fadiman
Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno
For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy
I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley
When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson
Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely. - Hawkeye
The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown
The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright
If you like the outdoors, Colorado is a big adventure playground for adults: it's great for skiing, cycling, climbing, and hiking. - Tyler Hamilton
Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong
Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly
From lessening negativity to boosting creativity, hiking in fresh air actually boosts brain power and can help certain parts of the brain grow. - Meredith Carey
Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros
see also Dog Section
Babysitter Dog
 Road Shortcut |  Running Tears |  Swingers |  Bird Cam |  Parent Signature |
 Bread Additive |  Dates For Everyone |  Tree of Dreams |  Temporarily Insane Boat Ride |  Exit Door |
 Handicap Motorcyclist |  New Canada Bill |  Staff Teeth |  Funnel Farm |  Buffalo Prod |
 Meat Pie |  Where Nobody Speeds |  A Fish Called Wanda - Uncut Version |  Point Of View |  Good Conductor |
21-Nov-2019 |