A little girl asked her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?”
Mom replies, “No, because she is in heat.”
“What’s that mean?” asked the child.
“Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.”
The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.”
Dad said, “Bring Belle over here.” He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog’s backside with it and said, “Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block.”
The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, “Where’s Belle?”
The little girl said, “She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.”
Hope is a walking dream. - Aristotle
Happiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz
Dogmatic: Run by canine power. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker
Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown
Subwoofer: A dog who scuba dives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Southpaw: A dog who is left-handed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
To err is human, for forgive, canine. - Unknown
An angry dog is best led by its tail. - Unknown
How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill
He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb
If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman
Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin
A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb
Wok The Dog: Specialty at Vietnamese Restaurants - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers
One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr
Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford
If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb
Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten
Hiking and happiness go hand in hand (or foot in boot). - Diane Spicer
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash
Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney
Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman
When you think about a walking tree, laughter is the response. - John Rhys-Davies
I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying. - Charlie Chaplin
When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey
If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney
If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb
Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown
Hiking's not for everyone. Notice the wilderness is mostly empty. - Sonja Yoerg
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones
A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown
It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump
If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly
If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one. - Dolly Parton
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings
From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine
Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown
The last time I saw him he was walking down Lover's Lane holding his own hand. - Fred Allen
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard
It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain
I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart
Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill
I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen
If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell
Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton
Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown
America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee
When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart
Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely. - Hawkeye
When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron
If you're walking down the right path and you're willing to keep walking, eventually you'll make progress. - Barack Obama
If you like the outdoors, Colorado is a big adventure playground for adults: it's great for skiing, cycling, climbing, and hiking. - Tyler Hamilton
The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden
Snap-On Gasket Scrapper: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Life is always walking up to us and saying, "Come on in, the living's fine," and what do we do? Back off and take its picture. - Russell Baker
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain
My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz
Happiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz
Dogmatic: Run by canine power. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker
Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown
Subwoofer: A dog who scuba dives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Southpaw: A dog who is left-handed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
To err is human, for forgive, canine. - Unknown
An angry dog is best led by its tail. - Unknown
How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill
He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb
If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman
Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin
A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb
Wok The Dog: Specialty at Vietnamese Restaurants - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers
One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr
Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford
If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb
Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten
Hiking and happiness go hand in hand (or foot in boot). - Diane Spicer
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash
Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney
Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman
When you think about a walking tree, laughter is the response. - John Rhys-Davies
I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying. - Charlie Chaplin
When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey
If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney
If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb
Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown
Hiking's not for everyone. Notice the wilderness is mostly empty. - Sonja Yoerg
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones
A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown
It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump
If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly
If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one. - Dolly Parton
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings
From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine
Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown
The last time I saw him he was walking down Lover's Lane holding his own hand. - Fred Allen
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard
It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain
I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart
Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill
I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen
If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell
Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton
Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown
America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee
When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart
Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely. - Hawkeye
When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron
If you're walking down the right path and you're willing to keep walking, eventually you'll make progress. - Barack Obama
If you like the outdoors, Colorado is a big adventure playground for adults: it's great for skiing, cycling, climbing, and hiking. - Tyler Hamilton
The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden
Snap-On Gasket Scrapper: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Life is always walking up to us and saying, "Come on in, the living's fine," and what do we do? Back off and take its picture. - Russell Baker
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain
My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz
see also Dog Section
Babysitter Dog
 Food For Thought |  Kanye Twitty |  Skull Tentacles |  Ukrainian Cattle Car |  CreepEye |
 Canadian Whiskey |  Winter Tree |  WrenchWare |  Dog Sled |  Winter Ready |
 Bread Dress |  Bear With Me |  Open-air schools in The Netherlands |  Ghost Food |  Toothpaste Holder |
 Two Face |  Redneck Porch Hunter |  Jeep Words |  Elton or Eltoff? |  Finger Physio |
23-Oct-2021 |