A little girl asked her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?”
Mom replies, “No, because she is in heat.”
“What’s that mean?” asked the child.
“Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.”
The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.”
Dad said, “Bring Belle over here.” He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog’s backside with it and said, “Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block.”
The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, “Where’s Belle?”
The little girl said, “She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.”
Every dog has his day. - Unknown
The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher
Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker
Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown
A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton
Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe
Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
To err is human, for forgive, canine. - Unknown
How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill
The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown
My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton
I'm walking here! I'm walking here! - Midnight Cowboy
The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller
Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman
Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright
If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb
The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb
Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney
Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown
My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield
wanderer, there is no path,
the path is made by walking. - Antonio Machado
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman
I love hiking, paddle boarding and listening to the Veronicas. - Bindi Irwin
When you think about a walking tree, laughter is the response. - John Rhys-Davies
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller
Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown
It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump
It was so hot today I saw a pigeon walking in the shadow of Orson Welles. - Johnny Carson
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. - Helen Keller
If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one. - Dolly Parton
I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night. - WC Fields
Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown
Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown
Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers
I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner
The last time I saw him he was walking down Lover's Lane holding his own hand. - Fred Allen
It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain
I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart
Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush
Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney
I can imagine few worse fates than walking around for the rest of one's life wearing a typo. - Anne Fadiman
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell
Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton
For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown
When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner
Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult. - C S Lewis
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney
Our society is walking through a maze of cultural land mines and the heaviest price is exacted as we send our children on ahead. - Ravi Zacharias
Returning home is the most difficult part of long-distance hiking. You have grown outside the puzzle and your piece no longer fits. - Cindy Ross
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain
Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong
Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus
My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz
Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros
The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher
Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker
Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown
A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton
Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe
Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
To err is human, for forgive, canine. - Unknown
How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill
The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown
My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton
I'm walking here! I'm walking here! - Midnight Cowboy
The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller
Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman
Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright
If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb
The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb
Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney
Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown
My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield
wanderer, there is no path,
the path is made by walking. - Antonio Machado
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman
I love hiking, paddle boarding and listening to the Veronicas. - Bindi Irwin
When you think about a walking tree, laughter is the response. - John Rhys-Davies
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller
Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown
It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump
It was so hot today I saw a pigeon walking in the shadow of Orson Welles. - Johnny Carson
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. - Helen Keller
If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one. - Dolly Parton
I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night. - WC Fields
Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown
Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown
Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers
I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner
The last time I saw him he was walking down Lover's Lane holding his own hand. - Fred Allen
It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain
I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart
Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush
Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney
I can imagine few worse fates than walking around for the rest of one's life wearing a typo. - Anne Fadiman
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell
Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton
For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown
When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner
Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult. - C S Lewis
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney
Our society is walking through a maze of cultural land mines and the heaviest price is exacted as we send our children on ahead. - Ravi Zacharias
Returning home is the most difficult part of long-distance hiking. You have grown outside the puzzle and your piece no longer fits. - Cindy Ross
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain
Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong
Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus
My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz
Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros
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12-Aug-2020 |