A little girl asked her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?”
Mom replies, “No, because she is in heat.”
“What’s that mean?” asked the child.
“Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.”
The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.”
Dad said, “Bring Belle over here.” He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog’s backside with it and said, “Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block.”
The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, “Where’s Belle?”
The little girl said, “She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.”
France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare
Every dog has his day. - Unknown
Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb
Happiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz
Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker
A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton
Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe
A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb
How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill
I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein
My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton
Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown
You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett
Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker
Content is fire and social media is gasoline. - Jay Baer
If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman
A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb
Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino
Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman
Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers
One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr
Hiking and happiness go hand in hand (or foot in boot). - Diane Spicer
Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields
Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen. - Unknown
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash
Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield
wanderer, there is no path,
the path is made by walking. - Antonio Machado
I love hiking, paddle boarding and listening to the Veronicas. - Bindi Irwin
If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney
Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown
A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel
I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller
Hiking's not for everyone. Notice the wilderness is mostly empty. - Sonja Yoerg
The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. - John Rooney
It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump
There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams
To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley
If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown
If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one. - Dolly Parton
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings
I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine
The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin
Birds with broken wings walking on the ground were once flying high up in the sky. - Mehmet M Ildan
Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. - Steven Wright
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein
My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who'd lost three husbands. - Kin Hubbard
I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen
Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy
America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee
Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
I felt as if I were walking with destiny, and that all my past life had been but a preparation for this hour and this trial. - Winston Churchill
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone
Returning home is the most difficult part of long-distance hiking. You have grown outside the puzzle and your piece no longer fits. - Cindy Ross
If you like the outdoors, Colorado is a big adventure playground for adults: it's great for skiing, cycling, climbing, and hiking. - Tyler Hamilton
Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong
Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus
Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia
Every dog has his day. - Unknown
Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb
Happiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz
Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker
A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton
Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe
A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb
How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill
I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein
My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton
Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown
You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett
Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker
Content is fire and social media is gasoline. - Jay Baer
If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman
A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb
Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino
Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman
Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers
One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr
Hiking and happiness go hand in hand (or foot in boot). - Diane Spicer
Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields
Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen. - Unknown
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash
Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield
wanderer, there is no path,
the path is made by walking. - Antonio Machado
I love hiking, paddle boarding and listening to the Veronicas. - Bindi Irwin
If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney
Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown
A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel
I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller
Hiking's not for everyone. Notice the wilderness is mostly empty. - Sonja Yoerg
The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. - John Rooney
It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump
There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams
To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley
If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown
If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one. - Dolly Parton
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings
I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine
The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin
Birds with broken wings walking on the ground were once flying high up in the sky. - Mehmet M Ildan
Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. - Steven Wright
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein
My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who'd lost three husbands. - Kin Hubbard
I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen
Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy
America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee
Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
I felt as if I were walking with destiny, and that all my past life had been but a preparation for this hour and this trial. - Winston Churchill
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone
Returning home is the most difficult part of long-distance hiking. You have grown outside the puzzle and your piece no longer fits. - Cindy Ross
If you like the outdoors, Colorado is a big adventure playground for adults: it's great for skiing, cycling, climbing, and hiking. - Tyler Hamilton
Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong
Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus
Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia
see also Dog Section
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18-Apr-2021 |