A little girl asked her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?”
Mom replies, “No, because she is in heat.”
“What’s that mean?” asked the child.
“Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.”
The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.”
Dad said, “Bring Belle over here.” He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog’s backside with it and said, “Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block.”
The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, “Where’s Belle?”
The little girl said, “She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.”
France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare
Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb
Hope is a walking dream. - Aristotle
Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker
A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton
Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe
A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato
A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb
How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill
The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown
My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton
A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown
The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet
Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker
If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman
Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin
A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb
Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers
Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford
Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb
If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb
I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz
Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten
Anywhere is walking distance if you've got the time. - Steven Wright
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
When you think about a walking tree, laughter is the response. - John Rhys-Davies
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. - Helen Keller
I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin
Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown
Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers
The last time I saw him he was walking down Lover's Lane holding his own hand. - Fred Allen
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart
Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill
Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein
I can imagine few worse fates than walking around for the rest of one's life wearing a typo. - Anne Fadiman
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart
When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson
Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely. - Hawkeye
Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. - Elizabeth Gilbert
When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron
If you're walking down the right path and you're willing to keep walking, eventually you'll make progress. - Barack Obama
An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney
Our society is walking through a maze of cultural land mines and the heaviest price is exacted as we send our children on ahead. - Ravi Zacharias
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner
Returning home is the most difficult part of long-distance hiking. You have grown outside the puzzle and your piece no longer fits. - Cindy Ross
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain
Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman
Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong
Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus
Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly
Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb
Hope is a walking dream. - Aristotle
Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker
A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton
Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe
A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato
A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb
How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill
The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown
My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton
A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown
The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet
Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker
If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman
Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin
A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb
Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers
Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford
Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb
If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb
I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz
Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten
Anywhere is walking distance if you've got the time. - Steven Wright
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
When you think about a walking tree, laughter is the response. - John Rhys-Davies
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. - Helen Keller
I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin
Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown
Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers
The last time I saw him he was walking down Lover's Lane holding his own hand. - Fred Allen
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake
I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart
Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill
Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein
I can imagine few worse fates than walking around for the rest of one's life wearing a typo. - Anne Fadiman
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart
When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson
Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely. - Hawkeye
Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. - Elizabeth Gilbert
When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron
If you're walking down the right path and you're willing to keep walking, eventually you'll make progress. - Barack Obama
An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney
Our society is walking through a maze of cultural land mines and the heaviest price is exacted as we send our children on ahead. - Ravi Zacharias
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner
Returning home is the most difficult part of long-distance hiking. You have grown outside the puzzle and your piece no longer fits. - Cindy Ross
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain
Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman
Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong
Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus
Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly
see also Dog Section
Babysitter Dog
 My Daughter and My Money |  Executive Decision Time |  Animal Rings |  Cow Return |  Biggest Fan On The Block |
 Senior's TV Tray |  Potty 'Train'ing In India |  A Woman Named Five Horses |  Vegan Dentist |  How To Conserve Gas |
 Rolling Shoes |  How Twins Are Made |  Cool Reading Room |  Poor Lifetime |  Be GarFul |
 Tooth Ferry |  Ready For Rabbits |  Ecosystem |  Plumber's Night Light |  Can I Lick The Bowl |
06-Jun-2020 |