Sheer Surprise

The husband’s last gift


A husband walks into Fredrick’s of Hollywood to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife.

He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price - the more sheer, the higher the price. He opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.

Upstairs, the wife thinks, “I have an idea. It’s so sheer that I might as well be nothing. I won’t put it on, do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself.”

So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says, “Good Lord! You’d think that for $500, they’d at least iron it!”

He never heard the shot.

Funeral services are pending...


QuotaBills
Brevity is the soul of lingerie. - Dorothy Parker

Fruitcake: The gift that keeps on giving - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

A book is a gift you can open again and again. - Garrison Keillor

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. - Phyllis Diller

Relationships are like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Forgiveness is a gift of high value. Yet its cost is nothing. - Betty Smith

To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift. - Steve Prefontaine

A bachelor is one who enjoys the chase but does not eat the game. - Unknown

Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. - Wayne Dyer

A gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself. - Mae West

I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson

Find someone who will change your life, not just your relationship status. - Abdul'Rauf Hashmi

God gave me a gift to do other things besides play the game of basketball. - LeBron James

I love romance. I'm a sucker for it. I love it so much. It's pathetic. - Drew Barrymore

Want to improve your relationships? See love as a verb rather than as a feeling. - Stephen R. Covey

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Hope is like peace. It is not a gift from God. It is a gift only we can give one another. - Elie Wiesel

It's great to be a blonde. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise people. - Pamela Anderson

Polly had a gift for baking pies, and she poured her heart and soul into every one she made. - Sarah Weeks

Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser

Cease to inquire what the future has in store, and to take as a gift whatever the day brings forth. - Horace

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

Forgiveness isn't just a blessing you deliver to another human being. Forgiveness is also a gift you give yourself. - Robin S Sharma

The greatest mistake we humans make in our relationships: we listen half, understand quarter, think zero, and react double. - Unknown

I'm not sure which is harder on a relationship: sharing a dresser for three years, or sharing an iPhone charger for one day. - Unknown

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


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22-Jan-2021