Sheer Surprise

The husband’s last gift


A husband walks into Fredrick’s of Hollywood to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife.

He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price - the more sheer, the higher the price. He opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.

Upstairs, the wife thinks, “I have an idea. It’s so sheer that I might as well be nothing. I won’t put it on, do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself.”

So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says, “Good Lord! You’d think that for $500, they’d at least iron it!”

He never heard the shot.

Funeral services are pending...


QuotaBills
Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

Assumptions are the termites of relationships. - Henry Winkler

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

There is no more expensive thing than a free gift. - Michel de Montaigne

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy. - Von Clausewitz

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde

Relationships are like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

For business, our Internet love affair was a gift from the gods. - Gary Vaynerchuk

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. - Andre Maurois

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

The greatest gift you can give another is the purity of your attention. - Richard Moss

Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don't expect it from cheap people. - Warren Buffett

The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value. - Charles Dudley Warner

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

Today we celebrate the gift of victory over every fall we have ever experienced. - Jeffrey R Holland

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

Your talent is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God. - Leo Buscaglia

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting, and of all relationships. - Jodie Foster

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

You have a grand gift for silence, Watson. It makes you quite invaluable as a companion. - Arthur Conan Doyle

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

Romance is thinking about your significant other, when you are supposed to be thinking about something else. - Nicholas Sparks

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Pigeons are gentle and smart and have complex social relationships. Their hearing and vision are both excellent. - Ingrid Newkirk

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. The quality of your business is no different. - Harvey Mackay

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst


see also   Marriage,  Shopping  &  Stress  Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
My Last Swim In The Ocean
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
The Last Photo I Took
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

Dog Laundry - Hung Out To Dry

Ahead Of You

Only in Montana

Paper Lunge

FireFox vs. Windows

'Pick Your Nose' Cup

Playing Mantis

XL Cup of Tea

Dogue

Geek Gravestone

Split Personality

Wine Day

Smirnoff Women

Front Bum

Wine Wheels

Cheese Crakers

The 'New' Economy

Floating Gazebo

Cordless Plumbing

USB Vacuum Cleaner
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

01-Oct-2020