Sheer Surprise

The husband’s last gift


A husband walks into Fredrick’s of Hollywood to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife.

He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price - the more sheer, the higher the price. He opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.

Upstairs, the wife thinks, “I have an idea. It’s so sheer that I might as well be nothing. I won’t put it on, do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself.”

So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says, “Good Lord! You’d think that for $500, they’d at least iron it!”

He never heard the shot.

Funeral services are pending...


QuotaBills
The secret to humor is surprise. - Aristotle

Conceit is God's gift to little men. - Bruce Barton

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy. - Von Clausewitz

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Forgiveness is a gift of high value. Yet its cost is nothing. - Betty Smith

To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift. - Steve Prefontaine

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

Do not be afraid; our fate cannot be taken from us; it is a gift. - Dante Alighieri

A bachelor is one who enjoys the chase but does not eat the game. - Unknown

Most women are afraid of clowns, but somehow end up still dating one. - Unknown

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. - Andre Maurois

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don't expect it from cheap people. - Warren Buffett

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me. - Jim Valvano

We learn the most from imperfect relationships - things like forgiveness and compassion. - Andrea Thompson

You have a grand gift for silence, Watson. It makes you quite invaluable as a companion. - Arthur Conan Doyle

Hope is like peace. It is not a gift from God. It is a gift only we can give one another. - Elie Wiesel

As a man in a relationship, you have a simple choice: You can be right or you can be happy. - Ralphie May

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump

No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader. - Robert Frost

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Pigeons are gentle and smart and have complex social relationships. Their hearing and vision are both excellent. - Ingrid Newkirk

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

Forgiveness isn't just a blessing you deliver to another human being. Forgiveness is also a gift you give yourself. - Robin S Sharma

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. The quality of your business is no different. - Harvey Mackay

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx

Forgiveness is the best form of love in any relationship. It takes a strong person to say they're sorry, and an even stronger person to forgive. - Yolanda Hadid

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. - Helen Rowland


see also   Marriage,  Shopping  &  Stress  Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
My Last Swim In The Ocean
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
The Last Photo I Took
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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28-May-2020