Sheer Surprise

The husband’s last gift


A husband walks into Fredrick’s of Hollywood to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife.

He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price - the more sheer, the higher the price. He opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.

Upstairs, the wife thinks, “I have an idea. It’s so sheer that I might as well be nothing. I won’t put it on, do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself.”

So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says, “Good Lord! You’d think that for $500, they’d at least iron it!”

He never heard the shot.

Funeral services are pending...


QuotaBills
Brevity is the soul of lingerie. - Dorothy Parker

The great gift of Easter is hope. - Basil C Hume

Knewlyweds: Second marriage for both - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Grace: nutrient in the marriage garden - Phil Callaway

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

Conceit is God's gift to little men. - Bruce Barton

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

For business, our Internet love affair was a gift from the gods. - Gary Vaynerchuk

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. - Wayne Dyer

Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don't expect it from cheap people. - Warren Buffett

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value. - Charles Dudley Warner

Today we celebrate the gift of victory over every fall we have ever experienced. - Jeffrey R Holland

The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away. - Pablo Picasso

Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen

The story of Easter is the story of God's wonderful window of divine surprise. - Carl Knudsen

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Irwin Corey

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

We learn the most from imperfect relationships - things like forgiveness and compassion. - Andrea Thompson

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

It's great to be a blonde. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise people. - Pamela Anderson

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. - Helen Rowland

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Forgiveness does not exonerate the perpetrator. Forgiveness liberates the victim. It's a gift you give yourself. - T D Jakes

Men in general judge more from appearances than from reality. All men have eyes, but few have the gift of penetration. - Niccolo Machiavelli

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

Nothing is a surprise to God; nothing is a setback to His plans; nothing can thwart His purposes; and nothing is beyond His control. - Joni Eareckson Tada

To be happy, you must fancy that everything you have is a gift, and you the chosen, though you worked your tail off for every bit of it. - Robert Brault


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20-Sep-2021