Sheer Surprise

The husband’s last gift


A husband walks into Fredrick’s of Hollywood to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife.

He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price - the more sheer, the higher the price. He opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.

Upstairs, the wife thinks, “I have an idea. It’s so sheer that I might as well be nothing. I won’t put it on, do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself.”

So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says, “Good Lord! You’d think that for $500, they’d at least iron it!”

He never heard the shot.

Funeral services are pending...


QuotaBills
Civilized humanical relationships - Archie Bunker

Knewlyweds: Second marriage for both - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself. - Steve Martin

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

The power of forgiveness transcends personal relationships. - Eric Metaxas

Forgiveness is a gift of high value. Yet its cost is nothing. - Betty Smith

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

The greatest gift you can give another is the purity of your attention. - Richard Moss

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

Find someone who will change your life, not just your relationship status. - Abdul'Rauf Hashmi

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. - Emile Zola

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

Give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of your attention. - Jim Rohn

The story of Easter is the story of God's wonderful window of divine surprise. - Carl Knudsen

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

An almost perfect relationship with his father was the earthly root of all his wisdom. - C S Lewis

It's great to be a blonde. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise people. - Pamela Anderson

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump

A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me. - Chevy Chase

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

I'm into all that sappy stuff - a surprise picnic, nice dinner, or traveling. I'm kind of an old romantic. - Will Estes

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

Valentine's Day: Rubbing singles' noses in their lack of a mate and the noses of couples in their lack of time. - Emma McLaughlin

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


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Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
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20-Jan-2022