James Bond’s Telepathic Watch

Don’t you wish you had telepathic timing?


A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.

He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”

“No,” he replies, “Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it.”

The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”

Bond explains, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”

The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”

“Well, it says you’re not wearing any knickers.”

The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing knickers!”

Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, “Bloody thing’s an hour fast.”


QuotaBills
Time wounds all heels. - Groucho Marx

Time is my greatest enemy. - Evita Peron

Wait for the wisest of counselors, time. - Pericles

I am 46, and have been for some time past. - Anita Brookner

Genius is immediate, but talent takes time. - Janet Flanner

Romance is the icing, the love is the cake. - Unknown

In Congress, it's all pork, all the time. - Jim Cooper

Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend. - Theophrastus

You can fool too many people too much of the time. - James Thurber

An unhurried sense of time is in itself a form of wealth. - Bonnie Friedman

There is never enough time, unless you're serving it. - Malcolm Forbes

The best time to make up your mind about people is never. - Katharine Hepburn

I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time. - Marilyn Monroe

You can take a chance with any man who pays his bills on time. - Terence

Come what may, time and the hour runs through the roughest day. - William Shakespeare

It’s okay to be crazy and scared and brave at the same time! - Kelly Epperson

Every time I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. - Robert M Hutchins

Elected leaders who forget how they got there won't the next time. - Malcolm Forbes

Every time I fill a vacant office, I make ten malcontents and one ingrate. - Louis XIV

Human beings want to be good, but not too good and not quite all the time. - George Orwell

I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time. - Tom Ward

An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. - Victor Hugo

Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it. - Unknown

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

Spending time being can be just as, if not more, fulfilling as spending time doing. - Faydra D. Fields

A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew. - Herb Caen

Everything slows down with age. Except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips. - John Wagner

Nothing can move a man who is paid by the hour; how sweet the flight of time seems to his calm mind. - Charles D Warner

How would you like a job where, every time you make a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo? - Jacques Plante

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. - Robin Williams

Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others. - H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. - Unknown

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

I don't think that we're meant to understand it all the time. I think that sometimes we just have to have faith. - Nicholas Sparks

After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It is not logical, but is often true. - Leonard Nimoy

Spend your time with those who love you unconditionally, not with those who love you only when the condition is right for them. - Unknown

If I'm losing balance in a pose, I stretch higher and God reaches down to steady me. It works every time, and not just in yoga. - T. Guillemets

Time is of of no account with great thoughts, which are as fresh today as when they first passed through their authors' minds ages ago. - Samuel Smiles

When I lose the sense of motivation and the sense to prove something as a basketball player, it's time for me to move away from the game. - Michael Jordan

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi


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22-Oct-2020