A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”
“No,” he replies, “Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it.”
The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”
Bond explains, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”
The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”
“Well, it says you’re not wearing any knickers.”
The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing knickers!”
Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, “Bloody thing’s an hour fast.”
You may delay, but time will not. - Benjamin Franklin
The next time you have a thought... let it go. - Ron White
Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings. - It's a Wonderful Life
Time is what we want most, but what we use worst. - William Penn
The third time you say a thing, it sounds like a lie. - Harrison Ford
Telepathy: Being too lazy to give your friends a call - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Everything comes in time to him who knows how to wait. - Leo Tolstoy
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies. - Voltaire
The less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it in. - Lord Chesterfield
About half my time is spent on business operation type stuff. - Mark Zuckerberg
My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson
The Republic of China - back in the Olympic Games for the first time. - David Coleman
The fine art of preparing sushi is something that you watch and learn. - Nobu Matsuhisa
A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. - Will Rogers
You gotta lose 'em some of the time. When you do, lose 'em right. - Casey Stengel
Clement Attlee reminds me of a dead fish before it has had time to stiffen. - George Orwell
Time is the brush of God, as he paints his masterpiece on the heart of humanity. - Ravi Zacharias
Few men of action have been able to make a graceful exit at the appropriate time. - Malcolm Muggeridge
Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is. - Thomas Szasz
Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts. - E.B. White
Winning is coming in fourth, exhausted but excited because you came in fifth last time. - Denis Waltley
The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it. - Josh Billings
At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden
You can lead audiences to a half-dressed, aging pop star but you can't make them watch. - Megan Basham
Your time is precious. Don't waste it on anyone who doesn't realize that you are, too. - Unknown
By the time you're 80 years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it. - George Burns
The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs... one step at a time. - Joe Girard
Having a kid is like falling in love for the first time when you're 12, but every single day. - Mike Myers
Romance is thinking about your significant other, when you are supposed to be thinking about something else. - Nicholas Sparks
Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. - Carl Sandburg
If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan
A man with a career can have no time to waste upon his wife and friends; he has to devote it wholly to his enemies. - John Hobbes
But, with time, one has encountered many of the monsters, and one is increasingly less terrified of those still to be met. - Kay Redfield Jamison
Remembering is a gift - a silent gift, because it roots us in reality while at the same time pointing us towards eternity. - Raphael Anzenberger
After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It is not logical, but is often true. - Leonard Nimoy
Doing well with blogging is not about writing one key post, it is about performing day after day and helping a few people at a time. - Aaron Wall
In Japan, animation is a big part of your media diet. I moved out to Los Angeles at 9, and when I got homesick, I would watch anime. - Hiro Murai
If you don't value your time, neither will others. Stop giving away your time and talents. Value what you know and start charging for it. - Kim Garst
When my wife says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have just enough time to fly to space and write a poem on the moon before we go. - Mike Vanatta
The next time you have a thought... let it go. - Ron White
Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings. - It's a Wonderful Life
Time is what we want most, but what we use worst. - William Penn
The third time you say a thing, it sounds like a lie. - Harrison Ford
Telepathy: Being too lazy to give your friends a call - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Everything comes in time to him who knows how to wait. - Leo Tolstoy
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies. - Voltaire
The less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it in. - Lord Chesterfield
About half my time is spent on business operation type stuff. - Mark Zuckerberg
My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson
The Republic of China - back in the Olympic Games for the first time. - David Coleman
The fine art of preparing sushi is something that you watch and learn. - Nobu Matsuhisa
A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. - Will Rogers
You gotta lose 'em some of the time. When you do, lose 'em right. - Casey Stengel
Clement Attlee reminds me of a dead fish before it has had time to stiffen. - George Orwell
Time is the brush of God, as he paints his masterpiece on the heart of humanity. - Ravi Zacharias
Few men of action have been able to make a graceful exit at the appropriate time. - Malcolm Muggeridge
Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is. - Thomas Szasz
Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts. - E.B. White
Winning is coming in fourth, exhausted but excited because you came in fifth last time. - Denis Waltley
The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it. - Josh Billings
At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden
You can lead audiences to a half-dressed, aging pop star but you can't make them watch. - Megan Basham
Your time is precious. Don't waste it on anyone who doesn't realize that you are, too. - Unknown
By the time you're 80 years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it. - George Burns
The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs... one step at a time. - Joe Girard
Having a kid is like falling in love for the first time when you're 12, but every single day. - Mike Myers
Romance is thinking about your significant other, when you are supposed to be thinking about something else. - Nicholas Sparks
Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. - Carl Sandburg
If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan
A man with a career can have no time to waste upon his wife and friends; he has to devote it wholly to his enemies. - John Hobbes
But, with time, one has encountered many of the monsters, and one is increasingly less terrified of those still to be met. - Kay Redfield Jamison
Remembering is a gift - a silent gift, because it roots us in reality while at the same time pointing us towards eternity. - Raphael Anzenberger
After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It is not logical, but is often true. - Leonard Nimoy
Doing well with blogging is not about writing one key post, it is about performing day after day and helping a few people at a time. - Aaron Wall
In Japan, animation is a big part of your media diet. I moved out to Los Angeles at 9, and when I got homesick, I would watch anime. - Hiro Murai
If you don't value your time, neither will others. Stop giving away your time and talents. Value what you know and start charging for it. - Kim Garst
When my wife says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have just enough time to fly to space and write a poem on the moon before we go. - Mike Vanatta
see also Bar & Relationship Sections
Solar System Watch
Time Flies
 Think Outside |  Despicable Wood Stove |  Engineering Flowchart |  Egotist |  Hunter's Dream Wedding |
 Paddy Field Canal |  Grow A Boyfriend |  Mars Images |  Drumset Motorcycle |  Brick Shoes |
 Custer's Last Stand? |  Hand Held Tourist |  Curly Heels |  Bottle Sneakret |  Removed Posts |
 Second Hand Work |  Ostrich Fill Up |  Calory Bomb |  Interuption Charge |  Reach For Your Dreams |
30-Jun-2022 |