A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”
“No,” he replies, “Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it.”
The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”
Bond explains, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”
The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”
“Well, it says you’re not wearing any knickers.”
The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing knickers!”
Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, “Bloody thing’s an hour fast.”
Lost time is never found again. - Benjamin Franklin
The future comes one day at a time. - Dean Acheson
Romance is the icing, the love is the cake. - Unknown
I am just turning 40 and taking my time about it. - Harold Lloyd
You can fool too many people too much of the time. - James Thurber
Each time history repeats itself, the price goes up. - Ronald Wright
There's always time for the things you put first. - Unknown
Telepathy: Being too lazy to give your friends a call - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
You can't depend on anyone to be wrong all the time. - American Proverb
We always have time enough, if we will but use it aright. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
When you argue with reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time. - Byron Katie
A bachelor is one who enjoys the chase but does not eat the game. - Unknown
Every man regards his own life as the New Year’s Eve of time. - Jean Paul Richter
We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck
Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed
I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson
Trust has to be earned, and should come only after the passage of time. - Arthur Ashe
If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams
You gotta lose 'em some of the time. When you do, lose 'em right. - Casey Stengel
A man that is young in years may be old in hours, if he has lost no time. - Francis Bacon
Clement Attlee reminds me of a dead fish before it has had time to stiffen. - George Orwell
A long time ago being crazy meant something. Nowadays everybody's crazy. - Charles Manson
You don't do things right once in a while. You do them right all the time. - Vince Lombardi
If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over? - John Wooden
As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do. - Andrew Carnegie
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield
The last time I saw him he was walking down Lover's Lane holding his own hand. - Fred Allen
There was never yet a truly great man that was not at the same time truly virtuous. - Abraham Lincoln
The first time I sang in the Church choir, two hundred people changed their religion. - Fred Allen
I am going to give a long speech today. I haven't had time to prepare a short one. - Winston Churchill
HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
You have to calendar time for yourself even if you have no idea what you're going to do with it. - Susie Bright
The masses have little time to think. And how incredible is the willingness of modern man to believe. - Adolf Hitler
Unless you devote an enormous amount of time to anticipating the future, you won't have any future. - Ron Chernow
By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. - Charles Wadsworth
Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others. - H. Jackson Brown Jr.
The greatest mistake we humans make in our relationships: we listen half, understand quarter, think zero, and react double. - Unknown
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
In primitive societies, no one has a watch, but everyone has time. In advanced societies, everyone has a watch, but no one has any time. - Gerhard Geschwandtner
When you get older, you know that life's mysteries are revealed in the fullness of time. All you have to do is wait, watch, and be amazed. - Linda Gray
The future comes one day at a time. - Dean Acheson
Romance is the icing, the love is the cake. - Unknown
I am just turning 40 and taking my time about it. - Harold Lloyd
You can fool too many people too much of the time. - James Thurber
Each time history repeats itself, the price goes up. - Ronald Wright
There's always time for the things you put first. - Unknown
Telepathy: Being too lazy to give your friends a call - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
You can't depend on anyone to be wrong all the time. - American Proverb
We always have time enough, if we will but use it aright. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
When you argue with reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time. - Byron Katie
A bachelor is one who enjoys the chase but does not eat the game. - Unknown
Every man regards his own life as the New Year’s Eve of time. - Jean Paul Richter
We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck
Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed
I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson
Trust has to be earned, and should come only after the passage of time. - Arthur Ashe
If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams
You gotta lose 'em some of the time. When you do, lose 'em right. - Casey Stengel
A man that is young in years may be old in hours, if he has lost no time. - Francis Bacon
Clement Attlee reminds me of a dead fish before it has had time to stiffen. - George Orwell
A long time ago being crazy meant something. Nowadays everybody's crazy. - Charles Manson
You don't do things right once in a while. You do them right all the time. - Vince Lombardi
If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over? - John Wooden
As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do. - Andrew Carnegie
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield
The last time I saw him he was walking down Lover's Lane holding his own hand. - Fred Allen
There was never yet a truly great man that was not at the same time truly virtuous. - Abraham Lincoln
The first time I sang in the Church choir, two hundred people changed their religion. - Fred Allen
I am going to give a long speech today. I haven't had time to prepare a short one. - Winston Churchill
HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
You have to calendar time for yourself even if you have no idea what you're going to do with it. - Susie Bright
The masses have little time to think. And how incredible is the willingness of modern man to believe. - Adolf Hitler
Unless you devote an enormous amount of time to anticipating the future, you won't have any future. - Ron Chernow
By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. - Charles Wadsworth
Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others. - H. Jackson Brown Jr.
The greatest mistake we humans make in our relationships: we listen half, understand quarter, think zero, and react double. - Unknown
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
In primitive societies, no one has a watch, but everyone has time. In advanced societies, everyone has a watch, but no one has any time. - Gerhard Geschwandtner
When you get older, you know that life's mysteries are revealed in the fullness of time. All you have to do is wait, watch, and be amazed. - Linda Gray
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26-Oct-2021 |