James Bond’s Telepathic Watch

Don’t you wish you had telepathic timing?


A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.

He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”

“No,” he replies, “Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it.”

The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”

Bond explains, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”

The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”

“Well, it says you’re not wearing any knickers.”

The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing knickers!”

Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, “Bloody thing’s an hour fast.”


QuotaBills
You may delay, but time will not. - Benjamin Franklin

The next time you have a thought... let it go. - Ron White

Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings. - It's a Wonderful Life

Time is what we want most, but what we use worst. - William Penn

The third time you say a thing, it sounds like a lie. - Harrison Ford

Telepathy: Being too lazy to give your friends a call - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Everything comes in time to him who knows how to wait. - Leo Tolstoy

Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies. - Voltaire

The less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it in. - Lord Chesterfield

About half my time is spent on business operation type stuff. - Mark Zuckerberg

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

The Republic of China - back in the Olympic Games for the first time. - David Coleman

The fine art of preparing sushi is something that you watch and learn. - Nobu Matsuhisa

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. - Will Rogers

You gotta lose 'em some of the time. When you do, lose 'em right. - Casey Stengel

Clement Attlee reminds me of a dead fish before it has had time to stiffen. - George Orwell

Time is the brush of God, as he paints his masterpiece on the heart of humanity. - Ravi Zacharias

Few men of action have been able to make a graceful exit at the appropriate time. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is. - Thomas Szasz

Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts. - E.B. White

Winning is coming in fourth, exhausted but excited because you came in fifth last time. - Denis Waltley

The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it. - Josh Billings

At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden

You can lead audiences to a half-dressed, aging pop star but you can't make them watch. - Megan Basham

Your time is precious. Don't waste it on anyone who doesn't realize that you are, too. - Unknown

By the time you're 80 years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it. - George Burns

The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs... one step at a time. - Joe Girard

Having a kid is like falling in love for the first time when you're 12, but every single day. - Mike Myers

Romance is thinking about your significant other, when you are supposed to be thinking about something else. - Nicholas Sparks

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. - Carl Sandburg

If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan

A man with a career can have no time to waste upon his wife and friends; he has to devote it wholly to his enemies. - John Hobbes

But, with time, one has encountered many of the monsters, and one is increasingly less terrified of those still to be met. - Kay Redfield Jamison

Remembering is a gift - a silent gift, because it roots us in reality while at the same time pointing us towards eternity. - Raphael Anzenberger

After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It is not logical, but is often true. - Leonard Nimoy

Doing well with blogging is not about writing one key post, it is about performing day after day and helping a few people at a time. - Aaron Wall

In Japan, animation is a big part of your media diet. I moved out to Los Angeles at 9, and when I got homesick, I would watch anime. - Hiro Murai

If you don't value your time, neither will others. Stop giving away your time and talents. Value what you know and start charging for it. - Kim Garst

When my wife says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have just enough time to fly to space and write a poem on the moon before we go. - Mike Vanatta


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30-Jun-2022