Coffin Attack

Coffin Attacks @ Halloween?

Curse of the banging coffin

A man was walking home alone one night when he hears a BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... behind him. Walking faster, he looks back, making out an image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...

The man begins to run towards his home, and the coffin bounces quickly after him, faster... faster... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP. He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, and locks the door behind him. However, the coffin crashes through his door, with the lid of the coffin flapping... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... on the heels of the terrified man.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding. With a CRASH, the coffin breaks down the door. Coming slowly towards him, the man screaming, reaches for something, anything...

All he can find is a box of cough drops!

Desperate, he throws the cough drops at the coffin ...

... and... of... course,

... the coffin stops!


QuotaBills
So many horrid Ghosts. - William Shakespeare

Halloween pumpkins aglow.
Come see the show. - Unknown

Produce great pumpkins, the pies will follow later. - Unknown

I don't believe in ghosts but they blindly believe in me. - Amit Abraham

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Studio 54 made Halloween in Hollywood look like a PTA meeting. - Lorna Luft

Suppose you get an attack of gastriasis in the middle of the night. - Archie Bunker

Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night. - Steve Almond

Misers part with nothing until they die. Then they give up the ghost. - Latin Proverb

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. - H L Mencken

If I ever have to stop taking the subway, I'm gonna have a heart attack. - Edward Norton

The ghosts of things that never happened are worse than the ghosts of things that did. - L.M. Montgomery

Corpse pose restores life. Dead parts of your being fall away, the ghosts are released. - Unknown

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween every day. - Gwen Stefani

I never really address myself to any image anybody has of me. That's like fighting with ghosts. - Sally Field

I'd rather sit alone on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion. - Henry David Thoreau

Ghosts have a way of misleading you; they can make your thoughts as heavy as branches after a storm. - Rebecca Maizel

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax - tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough. - Pearl Williams

That the Pearl Harbor attack should have succeeded in achieving surprise seems a blessing from heaven. - Hideki Tojo

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

Wrestlers in the U.S.A. are very aggressive. All they want to do is attack, but they'll make mistakes. - Kurt Angle

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

Do not attack me with your watch. A watch is always too fast or too slow. I cannot be dictated to by a watch. - Jane Austen

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

The farther we've gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we've come to need Halloween. - Paula Guran

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards. - Billy Connolly

The great thing about Glasgow now is that if there is a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards. - Billy Connolly

Love, like democracy, can survive almost any attack - except neglect, indifference and maybe an arrow in the back. - Unknown

I was Ashallayn’darkmyr Tallyn, son of Mab, former prince of the Unseelie Court, and I was not afraid of a witch on a broom. - Julie Kagawa

The Obama representatives like Robert Gibbs attack people viciously, but people like me will not be silent and will answer them back. - Donald Trump

All Halloween candy pales next to candy corn, if only because candy corn used to appear, like the Great Pumpkin, solely on Halloween. - Rosecrans Baldwin

It is good for a man to invite his ghosts into his warm interior, out of the wild night, into the firelight, out of the howling dark. - A.S. Byatt

The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up. - Jay Leno

Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good one are either taken or they've had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon. - Unknown

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift

This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him. - Conan O'Brien


see also   Halloween  &  Tombstone   Sections

 

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28-Feb-2020