For Sale - One Useless Cat

A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

The mouse that fears the trap has already been trapped. - Marty Rubin

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. - Walt Disney

That picture with Lon Chaney - "Of Mouse And Men." - Archie Bunker

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

Hairball: When a cat throws up to the basketball hoop, and misses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A good thing sells itself; a bad thing advertises itself for sale. - African Saying

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information. - Oscar Wilde

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

When we cannot find contentment in ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere. - Francois de la Rochefoucauld

In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. - Warren Eckstein

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages. - Mark Twain

If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." - Steven Wright

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

People ought to retire at 40 when they feel over-used, and go back to work at 65 when they feel useless. - Carol A O'Marie

Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless. - Homer Simpson

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful. - Samuel Johnson

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen