For Sale - One Useless Cat

You gotta be kitten me. - Unknown

All art is quite useless. - Oscar Wilde

Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Useless laws weaken necessary laws. - Charles de Secondat

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. - Pablo Picasso

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. - Walt Disney

There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge. - Bertrand Russell

That picture with Lon Chaney - "Of Mouse And Men." - Archie Bunker

Worry is today's mice nibbling on tomorrow's cheese. - Unknown

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information. - Oscar Wilde

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all. - Peter F Drucker

Before you build a better mousetrap, it helps to know if there are any mice out there. - Mortimer B Zuckerman

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan

Before you've practiced, the theory is useless. After you've practiced, the theory is obvious. - David Williams

Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless. - Homer Simpson

Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful. - Samuel Johnson

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen