Ode To Flatulence

Poetry ‘in motion’


A fart - it is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease;
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.

A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud;
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud.

A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long;
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song.

A fart can create
A most curious medley;
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent and deadly.

A fart might not smell,
While others are vile;
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while.

A fart can occur
In a number of places;
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces.

From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of us
Sooner or later.

But ‘farts are all bad’,
Is simply not true -
We must never forget
Sweet old farts like you!


QuotaBills
Politics makes strange postmasters. - Kin Hubbard

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Every country has the government it deserves. - Joseph de Maistre

From politics, it was an easy step to silence. - Jane Austen

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. - Jonathan Winters

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business. - Winston Churchill

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

Government is an endless pursuit of new ways to tax. - Unknown

If men were angels, no government would be necessary. - James Madison

This is the place to be - in the land of swimming pools. - David Hockney

Honor is not the exclusive property of any political party. - Herbert Hoover

A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top. - James Reston

If men are so wicked with religion, what would they be without it? - Benjamin Franklin

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. - Will Rogers

To be born in India is to arrive into the world swimming in religion. - Ravi Zacharias

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. - Henry Kissinger

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

A sense of humor, properly developed, is superior to any religion so far devised. - Tom Robbins

My sheer existence is like a political act to a lot of people. It's not to me. - Grimes

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. - Will Rogers

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. - George Bernard Shaw

The first time I sang in the Church choir, two hundred people changed their religion. - Fred Allen

You know what's got the world in the shape today? Buddah, the Pope, Marx and Lemons. - Archie Bunker

We have just enough religion to make us hate but not enough to make us love one another. - Jonathan Swift

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. - P.J. O'Rourke

It's our experience that political leaders don't always mean the opposite of what they say. - Abba Eban

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. - Frederic Bastiat

Politics: Poli, a Latin word meaning "many"; and tics, meaning "bloodsucking creatures." - Robin Williams

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. - Ambrose Bierce

It was revealed in a government survey published today that the Prime Minister is doing the work of two men, Laurel and Hardy. - Ronnie Corbett

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake? - Dylan Moran

Politicians also have no leisure, because they are always aiming at something beyond political life itself, power and glory, or happiness. - Aristotle

I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker


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22-Oct-2020