Happy Turkey Day

Eternity is two people and a roast turkey. - James Dent

Here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock. - William Shakespeare

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

A peacock that rests on his feathers is just another turkey. - Dolly Parton

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

Hope springs eternal in the human breast. Man never is, but always to be blest. - Alexander Pope

The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

Thanksgiving is the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. - Michael Dresser

Music has charms to sooth a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak. - William Congreve

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller

Go see that turkey for yourself, and see for yourself why you shouldn't see it. - Samuel Goldwyn

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard

I don't see anywhere in the Bible where it says you shouldn't get breast implants. - Carrie Prejean

I love Thanksgiving turkey - it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. - W.T. Purkiser

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

Consuming mushrooms regularly has been associated with decreased risk of breast, stomach and colorectal cancers. - Joel Fuhrman

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin