U.S. Navy Ships

“I saw these ships come sailing in...”

Ships in U.S. naval history



USS Ronald Reagan
Seeing it next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective
USS Reagan

When the Bridge pipes “Man the Rail”, there’s a lot of rail to man on this monster:
shoulder to shoulder, around 4.5 acres. Her displacement is 100,000 tons
with full complement.

Capability
Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that can operate for
more than 20 years without refueling.
1. Expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years
2. Carries over 80 combat aircraft
3. Three arresting cables can stop a 28-ton aircraft going 150 miles per hour
in less than 400 feet

Size
1. Towers 20 stories above the waterline
2. 1092 feet long - nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall
3. Flight deck covers 4.5 acres
4. 4 bronze propellers, each 21 feet across, weighing 66,200 pounds
5. 2 rudders, each 29 by 22 feet, weighing 50 tons
6. 4 high speed aircraft elevators, each over 4,000 square feet

Capacity
1. Home to 6,000 Navy personnel
2. Carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days
3. 18,150 meals served daily
4. Distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh water from
sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes
5. Nearly 30,000 light fixtures, 1,325 miles of cable, and 1,400 telephones
6. 14,000 pillowcases and 28,000 sheets


USS Jimmy Carter
USS Jimmy Carter

The USS Jimmy Carter is a secret aircraft carrier, based on
Canada’s STOL (Short Takeoff and Landing) technology.
It’s so secret that noone knows whether it did “takeoff.”

USS William Jefferson Clinton
USS Clinton

The USS William Jefferson Clinton set sail today from its home port of Vancouver, B.C.

The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton
“for his foresight in military budget cuts” and his conduct while formerly holding
the office of President.

The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar
powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one unarmed
F14 Tomcat or one unarmed F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be
launched from the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.

As a standing order, there are no firearms allowed on board.
This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid
conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.

An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in
any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are
limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises
all apologies will sound very sincere.

In times of conflict, the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada.


USS Barack Hussein Obama
USS Barack Hussein Obama

Details are vague. But don’t worry - he has a plan.



QuotaBills
I don't give a ship! - Unknown

All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

Politics is the art of the possible. - Otto von Bismarck

In politics the middle way is none at all. - John Adams

Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business. - Winston Churchill

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Government is an endless pursuit of new ways to tax. - Unknown

Most bad government results from too much government. - Thomas Jefferson

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. - John Kenneth Galbraith

It's more fun to be a pirate than to join the Navy. - Steve Jobs

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel

Some people could look at a mud puddle and see an ocean with ships. - Zora N Hurston

The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government. - Edward Abbey

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

Politics is a profession where the paths of glory lead but to the gravy. - Billy Boy Franklin

Government of the people, by the people, and for the pursuit of happiness. - Archie Bunker

When rats leave a sinking ship, where exactly do they think they're going? - Douglas Gauck

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business. - Tom Robbins

Either the government will be given to us or we shall seize it by marching on Rome. - Benito Mussolini

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

Everyone wants to eat at the government's table, but nobody wants to do the dishes. - Werner Finck

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain

If the highest aim of a captain were to preserve his ship, he would keep it in port forever. - Thomas Aquinas

So, if we lie to the government, it's a felony.
But if they lie to us, it's politics. - Bill Murray

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Milton Friedman

Our whole constitutional heritage rebels at the thought of giving government the power to control men's minds. - Thurgood Marshall

Harold MacMillan is a very intelligent man, who, as so often happens in politics, achieved supreme power too late. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

One of the reasons people hate politics is that truth is rarely a politician's objective. Election and power are. - Cal Thomas

Oh my. Space travel sounds rather perilous. I can assure you they will never get me on one of those dreadful Star Ships. - C-3PO

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. - Groucho Marx

The punishment which the wise suffer who refuse to take part in the government, is to live under the government of worse men. - Plato

Most people stand on the dock of life waiting for their ship to come in when deep down inside they know it has never left port. - Zig Ziglar

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers


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22-May-2022