Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

Searching for a cure for hyperactivity?


I just wanted to let you know that I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD - Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder...

I decide to do the laundry, start down the hall and notice the newspaper on the table. OK, I’m going to do the laundry... BUT FIRST I’m going to read the newspaper. After that, I notice the mail on the table. OK, I’ll just put the newspaper in the recycle stack....
BUT FIRST.... I’ll look through the pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be paid. Yes. Now where is the checkbook?

Oops! there’s the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. I’m going to look for that checkbook...
BUT FIRST I need to put the glass in the sink. I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water, I put the glass in the sink and there’s the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter. What’s it doing here? I’ll just put it away...
BUT FIRST need to water those plants. I head for the door and... Aaaagh! stepped on the cat. Cat needs to be fed. Okay, I’ll put the remote away and water the plants...
BUT FIRST I need to feed the cat.

END OF DAY: Laundry is not done, newspapers are still on the floor, glass is still in the sink, bills are not paid, checkbook is still lost, and the cat ate the remote control... And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I’m baffled because...I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY!
I realize this condition is serious... I’d get help...
BUT FIRST... I think I’ll check my e-mail.


QuotaBills
Anatomy is destiny. - Sigmund Freud

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love. - Hubert H Humphrey

Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

About half my time is spent on business operation type stuff. - Mark Zuckerberg

Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine

Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou

Some of these people need ten years of therapy - ten sentences of mine do not equal ten years of therapy. - Oscar Wilde

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer


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18-May-2022