Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

I just wanted to let you know that I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD - Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder... I decide to do the laundry, start down the hall and notice the newspaper on the table. OK, I’m going to do the laundry... BUT FIRST I’m going to read the newspaper. After that, I notice the mail on the table. OK, I’ll just put the newspaper in the recycle stack.... BUT FIRST.... I’ll look through the pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be paid. Yes. Now where is the checkbook? Oops! there’s the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. I’m going to look for that checkbook... BUT FIRST I need to put the glass in the sink. I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water, I put the glass in the sink and there’s the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter. What’s it doing here? I’ll just put it away... BUT FIRST need to water those plants. I head for the door and... Aaaagh! stepped on the cat. Cat needs to be fed. Okay, I’ll put the remote away and water the plants... BUT FIRST I need to feed the cat. END OF DAY: Laundry is not done, newspapers are still on the floor, glass is still in the sink, bills are not paid, checkbook is still lost, and the cat ate the remote control... And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I’m baffled because...I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY! I realize this condition is serious... I’d get help... BUT FIRST... I think I’ll check my e-mail. QuotaBills Nature is cheaper than therapy. - M P Zarrella Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love. - Hubert H Humphrey Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. - Daniel F E Auber A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman Co-Operation: An exchange between a woman and a man in which she coos and he operates - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Aging is the extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. - David Bowie The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles Aging: 1. A supposed ripening into wisdom that most Westerners attempt to delay as long as possible; 2. A one-way street with no stoplights. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler see also   Aging  &  Medical  Sections A. A. A. D. D. 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30-Nov-2021