Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

I just wanted to let you know that I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD - Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder... I decide to do the laundry, start down the hall and notice the newspaper on the table. OK, I’m going to do the laundry... BUT FIRST I’m going to read the newspaper. After that, I notice the mail on the table. OK, I’ll just put the newspaper in the recycle stack.... BUT FIRST.... I’ll look through the pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be paid. Yes. Now where is the checkbook? Oops! there’s the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. I’m going to look for that checkbook... BUT FIRST I need to put the glass in the sink. I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water, I put the glass in the sink and there’s the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter. What’s it doing here? I’ll just put it away... BUT FIRST need to water those plants. I head for the door and... Aaaagh! stepped on the cat. Cat needs to be fed. Okay, I’ll put the remote away and water the plants... BUT FIRST I need to feed the cat. END OF DAY: Laundry is not done, newspapers are still on the floor, glass is still in the sink, bills are not paid, checkbook is still lost, and the cat ate the remote control... And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I’m baffled because...I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY! I realize this condition is serious... I’d get help... BUT FIRST... I think I’ll check my e-mail. QuotaBills Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment. - Unknown Obscenity is whatever happens to shock some elderly and ignorant magistrate. - Bertrand Russell When it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. - Graham Norton A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift The yoga mat is a good place to turn when talk therapy and antidepressants aren't enough. - Amy Weintraub I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler see also   Aging  &  Medical  Sections A. A. A. D. D. Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s? Dreams Come True   Swingers Patience and Wisdom Hippo Race Tank Top Security Bus Office I Lost My Job With Lifeline Wet Rain Boo Pumpkin Downspout Sausage Cat Plastic Bottle Beach Art Dog Shoes Casket Car Cafe Cappuccino Redneck Car Swing Need A Lifeguard? Newfie Parkin' Only What Are Friends For? Piano Mover Pumpkin Helmet

26-Oct-2020