I just wanted to let you know that I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD - Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder...
I decide to do the laundry, start down the hall and notice the newspaper on the table. OK,
I’m going to do the laundry... BUT FIRST I’m going to read the newspaper. After that, I
notice the mail on the table. OK, I’ll just put the newspaper in the recycle stack....
BUT FIRST.... I’ll look through the pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be
paid. Yes. Now where is the checkbook?
Oops! there’s the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. I’m going to look for
BUT FIRST I need to put the glass in the sink. I head for the kitchen, look out the
window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water, I put the glass in the sink and
there’s the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter. What’s it doing here? I’ll just put
BUT FIRST need to water those plants. I head for the door and... Aaaagh! stepped on the
cat. Cat needs to be fed. Okay, I’ll put the remote away and water the plants...
BUT FIRST I need to feed the cat.
END OF DAY: Laundry is not done, newspapers are still on the floor, glass is still in the
sink, bills are not paid, checkbook is still lost, and the cat ate the remote control...
And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I’m baffled because...I
KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY!
I realize this condition is serious... I’d get help...
BUT FIRST... I think I’ll check my e-mail.
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Caring is the essence of nursing. - Jean Watson
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
I went to a massage parlor. It was self service. - Rodney Dangerfield
False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur
Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher
Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
About half my time is spent on business operation type stuff. - Mark Zuckerberg
I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett
Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. - John Wagner
Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment. - Unknown
Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren
It is my custom to call this book 'An Anatomy of All the Parts of the Soul.' - John Calvin
First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson
The yoga mat is a good place to turn when talk therapy and antidepressants aren't enough. - Amy Weintraub
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield
Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer
Aging & Medical Sections
A. A. A. D. D.
Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s?
Dreams Come True
Your Fly Is Down
Political Promise Hauler
Steering Wheel For Couples
Confined By Walls
Redneck Selfie Stick
1957 Woolworth Menu
Cops Beating A Black Man in NYC
The New Norm
Police Car Of The Year
If You're Looking For A Sign
Upside Down Amusement
Special Second Meal
Drink, Don't Drive!