Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

Searching for a cure for hyperactivity?


I just wanted to let you know that I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD - Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder...

I decide to do the laundry, start down the hall and notice the newspaper on the table. OK, I’m going to do the laundry... BUT FIRST I’m going to read the newspaper. After that, I notice the mail on the table. OK, I’ll just put the newspaper in the recycle stack....
BUT FIRST.... I’ll look through the pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be paid. Yes. Now where is the checkbook?

Oops! there’s the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. I’m going to look for that checkbook...
BUT FIRST I need to put the glass in the sink. I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water, I put the glass in the sink and there’s the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter. What’s it doing here? I’ll just put it away...
BUT FIRST need to water those plants. I head for the door and... Aaaagh! stepped on the cat. Cat needs to be fed. Okay, I’ll put the remote away and water the plants...
BUT FIRST I need to feed the cat.

END OF DAY: Laundry is not done, newspapers are still on the floor, glass is still in the sink, bills are not paid, checkbook is still lost, and the cat ate the remote control... And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I’m baffled because...I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY!
I realize this condition is serious... I’d get help...
BUT FIRST... I think I’ll check my e-mail.


QuotaBills
Anatomy is destiny. - Sigmund Freud

Logic is the anatomy of thought. - Albert Einstein

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation. - Irvin S Cobb

Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment. - Unknown

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

Obscenity is whatever happens to shock some elderly and ignorant magistrate. - Bertrand Russell

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

It is my custom to call this book 'An Anatomy of All the Parts of the Soul.' - John Calvin

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


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20-Jan-2021