Hiding Bald

Whatever it takes to keep the toupee on

When Mr. O’Leary died, an elaborate wake was planned. In preparation, Mrs. O’Leary called the undertaker aside for a private talk.

“Please be sure to secure his toupee to his head very securely. No one but I knew he was bald,” she confided, “and he’d never rest in peace if anyone found out at this point. But our friends from the old country are sure to hold his hands and touch his head before they’re through paying their last respects.”
“Rest assured, Mrs. O’Leary,” comforted the undertaker. “I’ll fix it so that toupee will never come off.”

Sure enough, the day of the wake the old timers were giving O’Leary’s ancient corpse quite a going over, but the toupee stayed firmly in place. At the end of the day, a delighted Mrs. O’Leary offered the undertaker an extra hundred dollars for handling the matter so professionally.
“Oh, I couldn’t possibly accept your money,” protested the undertaker.
“What’s a few nails?”



QuotaBills
Music is the strongest form of magic. - Marilyn Manson

Canned music is like audible wallpaper. - Alistair Cooke

Extraordinary how potent cheap music is. - Noel Coward

Music is the universal language of mankind. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Music hath charms to soothe the savage beast. - James Bramston

Music is spiritual. The music business is not. - Van Morrison

Without music, life is a journey through a desert. - Pat Conroy

The earth has its music for those who will listen. - George Santayana

You can't touch music, but music can touch you. - Mordecai

Music isn't for the eyes - it's for the ears. - Adele

Life exists for the love of music or beautiful things. - G K Chesterton

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture. - Steve Martin

Music is the art which is most nigh to tears and memory. - Oscar Wilde

Music - what a powerful instrument, what a mighty weapon! - Maria Augusta von Trapp

Modern music is three farts and a raspberry, orchestrated. - John Barbirolli

Music melts all the separate parts of our bodies together. - Anais Nin

After Rossini dies, who will there be to promote his music? - Richard Wagner

Learning music by reading about it is like making love by mail. - Luciano Pavarotti

My personal hobbies are reading, listening to music, and silence. - Edith Sitwell

People haven't always been there for me, but music always has. - Taylor Swift

Life is a rich strain of music, suggesting a realm too fair to be. - George William Curtis

If in the afterlife there is not music, we will have to import it. - Domenico Cieri Estrada

A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd. - Max Lucado

Music is what tells us that the human race is greater than we realize. - Napoleon Bonaparte

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

People are like music. Some speak the truth, and others are just noise. - Bill Murray

Music produces a kind of pleasure which human nature cannot do without. - Confucius

I haven't understood a bar of music in my life, but I have felt it. - Igor Stravinsky

Music acts like a magic key, to which the most tightly closed heart opens. - Maria Augusta von Trapp

It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: the music is nothing if the audience is deaf. - Walter Lippmann

Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent. - Victor Hugo

Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything. - Plato

All is beautiful and unceasing, all is music and reason, and all, like diamond, is carbon first, then light. - Jose Martin

If Music is a Place - then Jazz is the City, Folk is the Wilderness, Rock is the Road, Classical is a Temple. - Vera Nazarian

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

Music is by far the most wonderful method we have to remind us each day of the power of personal accomplishment. - Chris S Salazar

Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays. - Oscar Wilde

If music be the food of love, play on, give me excess of it; that surfeiting, the appetite may sicken, and so die. - William Shakespeare

Music drives you. It wakes you up, it gets you pumping. And, at the end of the day, the correct tune will chill you down. - Dimebag Darrell

The basis of our partnership strategy and our partnership approach: We build the social technology. They provide the music. - Mark Zuckerberg


see also   Hairstyle  Section
CATastrophe - How To Lionize Your Cat
Chesthair
Close Shave
Fountain Of Youth
Hair Ad - Just Add Self
Hair Moan Therapy
Hair Strengthener
Haircut For Staff Meetings
Head Path
Horse Hair
Inflatable Toupee
Seinfeld Haircut
Shaved by Grace
Swimming Without Getting Your Hair Wet
Taking Donations For Scissors


 

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26-Oct-2020