Hiding Bald

Whatever it takes to keep the toupee on

When Mr. O’Leary died, an elaborate wake was planned. In preparation, Mrs. O’Leary called the undertaker aside for a private talk.

“Please be sure to secure his toupee to his head very securely. No one but I knew he was bald,” she confided, “and he’d never rest in peace if anyone found out at this point. But our friends from the old country are sure to hold his hands and touch his head before they’re through paying their last respects.”
“Rest assured, Mrs. O’Leary,” comforted the undertaker. “I’ll fix it so that toupee will never come off.”

Sure enough, the day of the wake the old timers were giving O’Leary’s ancient corpse quite a going over, but the toupee stayed firmly in place. At the end of the day, a delighted Mrs. O’Leary offered the undertaker an extra hundred dollars for handling the matter so professionally.
“Oh, I couldn’t possibly accept your money,” protested the undertaker.
“What’s a few nails?”



QuotaBills
Jazz is democracy in music. - Wynton Marsalis

Rock Music: Sung in a rocking chair - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Unaccompanied: The orchestra is on strike - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Music comes to me more readily than words. - Ludwig van Beethoven

I hate music - especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

Music is what our soul sounds like when it sings. - Xila Toro

Without music, life is a journey through a desert. - Pat Conroy

I like your opera. I think I will set it to music. - Ludwig van Beethoven

My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown

Music is the moonlight in the gloomy night of life. - Jean Paul Friedrich Richter

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture. - Elvis Costello

Music is the art which is most nigh to tears and memory. - Oscar Wilde

The music is all around us. All you have to do is listen. - August Rush

Music - what a powerful instrument, what a mighty weapon! - Maria Augusta von Trapp

We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams. - Arthur O'Shaughnessy

Music is a higher revelation than all wisdom and philosophy. - Ludwig van Beethoven

If you stand up and be counted, someone will take your seat. - Unknown

The sweetest music in the world to every person is his own name. - Unknown

Music is the mediator between the spiritual and the sensual life. - Ludwig van Beethoven

Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist. - G K Chesterton

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune. - Kin Hubbard

Music is the tool to express life - and all that makes a difference. - Herbie Hancock

All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong

Accordion Music: Noise that comes from playing both ends against the middle - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If the music is loud enough I won't be able to listen to my own thoughts. - Nic Sheff

The trouble with dancing naked is that not everything stops when the music does. - Unknown

If you're offered a seat on a rocket ship, don't ask what seat! Just get on. - Sheryl Sandberg

The greatest pleasure of writing is not what it's about, but the music the words make. - Truman Capote

The only purpose for music should be the glory of God and the re-creation of the human spirit. - Johann Sebastian Bach

Words make you think a thought. Music makes you feel a feeling. A song makes you feel a thought. - E Y Harburg

The guitar is a small orchestra. It is polyphonic. Every string is a different color, a different voice. - Andres Segovia

A hundred years from now, people will listen to the music of the Beatles the same way we listen to Mozart. - Paul McCartney

My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary. - Martin Luther

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular? - David Sarnoff

I'll see you at the opera tonight. I'll hold your seat till you get there. After that, you're on your own. - Groucho Marx

Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn. - Charlie Parker

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

Music embodies feeling without forcing it to contend and combine with thought, as it is forced in most arts and especially in the art of words. - Franz Liszt

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means put down. - Bob Newhart


see also   Hairstyle  Section
CATastrophe - How To Lionize Your Cat
Chesthair
Close Shave
Fountain Of Youth
Hair Ad - Just Add Self
Hair Moan Therapy
Hair Strengthener
Haircut For Staff Meetings
Head Path
Horse Hair
Inflatable Toupee
Seinfeld Haircut
Shaved by Grace
Swimming Without Getting Your Hair Wet
Taking Donations For Scissors


 

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Fat Friend Prayer

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Nutella Face Lotion

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09-Aug-2020