Hiding Bald

Whatever it takes to keep the toupee on

When Mr. O’Leary died, an elaborate wake was planned. In preparation, Mrs. O’Leary called the undertaker aside for a private talk.

“Please be sure to secure his toupee to his head very securely. No one but I knew he was bald,” she confided, “and he’d never rest in peace if anyone found out at this point. But our friends from the old country are sure to hold his hands and touch his head before they’re through paying their last respects.”
“Rest assured, Mrs. O’Leary,” comforted the undertaker. “I’ll fix it so that toupee will never come off.”

Sure enough, the day of the wake the old timers were giving O’Leary’s ancient corpse quite a going over, but the toupee stayed firmly in place. At the end of the day, a delighted Mrs. O’Leary offered the undertaker an extra hundred dollars for handling the matter so professionally.
“Oh, I couldn’t possibly accept your money,” protested the undertaker.
“What’s a few nails?”



QuotaBills
Music is my higher power. - Oliver James

Rock Music: Sung in a rocking chair - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kind words are the music of the world. - F.W. Faber

Unaccompanied: The orchestra is on strike - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Snoring: 1. Sheet music; 2. Sound sleeping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Rock and roll: music for the neck downwards. - Keith Richards

Music is spiritual. The music business is not. - Van Morrison

Life is one grand, sweet song, so start the music. - Ronald Reagan

My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown

My music is best understood by children and animals. - Igor Stravinsky

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture. - Elvis Costello

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture. - Steve Martin

Music can change the world because it can change people. - Bono

Music - what a powerful instrument, what a mighty weapon! - Maria Augusta von Trapp

You just pick a chord, go twang, and you've got music. - Sid Vicious

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. - Berthold Auerbach

We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams. - Arthur O'Shaughnessy

The seat of knowledge is in the head, of wisdom, in the heart. - William Hazlitt

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune. - Kin Hubbard

Music is the tool to express life - and all that makes a difference. - Herbie Hancock

You can run out of garlic, but you can't really run out of music. - Jace Wayland

Music is the literature of the heart; it commences where speech ends. - Alphonse de Lamartine

A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd. - Max Lucado

Music produces a kind of pleasure which human nature cannot do without. - Confucius

I haven't understood a bar of music in my life, but I have felt it. - Igor Stravinsky

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

Tupac was one of the biggest thugs I know - and he always wore his seat belt. - Ice Cube

Each soul is tuned to a different pitch. Music is about harmonizing the soul. - Wu-Tang Clan

Softly, deftly, music shall caress you. Hear it, feel it, secretly possess you. - Charles Hart

Music is the only thing I've ever known that doesn't have any rules at all. - Josh Homme

Music is an agreeable harmony for the honor of God and the permissible delights of the soul. - Johann Sebastian Bach

Music brings a warm glow to my vision, thawing mind and muscle from their endless wintering. - Haruki Murakami

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

If one plays good music, people don't listen and if one plays bad music people don't talk. - Oscar Wilde

The guitar is a small orchestra. It is polyphonic. Every string is a different color, a different voice. - Andres Segovia

I think Paul McGuinness and U2 created the Irish music industry. It certainly wasn't there before that. - Van Morrison

Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays. - Oscar Wilde

The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular? - David Sarnoff

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

Musical innovation is full of danger to the State, for when modes of music change, the fundamental laws of the State always change with them. - Plato


see also   Hairstyle  Section
CATastrophe - How To Lionize Your Cat
Chesthair
Close Shave
Fountain Of Youth
Hair Ad - Just Add Self
Hair Moan Therapy
Hair Strengthener
Haircut For Staff Meetings
Head Path
Horse Hair
Inflatable Toupee
Seinfeld Haircut
Shaved by Grace
Swimming Without Getting Your Hair Wet
Taking Donations For Scissors


 

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29-Jun-2022