Golf Club Gifts

Only the best will do for the Arabian oil sheik


A New York stockbroker had made millions of dollars for an Arabian oil sheik. The sheik was so pleased he offered him rubies, gold, and a silver-plated Rolls-Royce. He declined the gifts, telling the sheik that he had merely done his job. But the sheik insisted.

“Well,” the broker said, “I’ve recently taken up golf. A set of golf clubs would be a fine gift.”

Weeks went by. One morning the broker received a letter from him.

“So far I have bought you three golf clubs,” it said, “but I hope you will not be disappointed because only two of them have swimming pools.”


QuotaBills
Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

All is fair in love and golf. - American Proverb

I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood

You drive for show but putt for dough. - Bobby Locke

Where there's a Will there's a Fairway. - Unknown

Forget your opponents; always play against par. - Sam Snead

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin

Real golfers don't miss putts, they get robbed. - Unknown

Teetotaler: A golfer who only keeps track of drives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown

Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham

Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. - H L Mencken

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

The biggest battle is never on the field, the fairway, the diamond or rink: it's in your mind. - Carey Neuhoff

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx

The biggest thing is just routine. I think that's the biggest correlation between golfers and basketball players. - Stephen Curry

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump


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09-Jul-2020