I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison
control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her
little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not
harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She
calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave
her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that
she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a
life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the
plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, a Coast Guard
helicopter coming towards them surprised them. It turned out that the chopper
was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was
inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.
A man, wanting to rob a downtown San Francisco Bank of America, walked into the
branch and wrote “this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag.” While
standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that
someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached
the teller’s window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to
Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the
Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he
wasn’t the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his
stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that
he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank
of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, “OK” and left. He was
arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his
speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a
ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police
department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from
the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He
immediately mailed in his $40.
Guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the
cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber
saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told
the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier
refused and said, “Because I don’t believe you are over 21.” The robber said he
was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn’t believe
him. At this point, the robber took his driver’s license out of his wallet and
gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in
fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the
store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name
and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber
two hours later.
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The
first one shouted, “Nobody move!” When his partner moved, the startled first
bandit shot him.
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d
just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window.
The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking
him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The
whole event was caught on videotape.
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in
Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A.M., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk
turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a
food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t
available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars
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