After-Gas Piggy Bank

Marry money. - Max Shulman

Stocks do not move unless they are pushed. - S Jay Levin

Yacht: a floating box you throw money into. - Unknown

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. - WC Fields

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. - Samuel Butler

If you marry for money you will earn every penny. - Dr. Phil McGraw

After money in the bank, a grudge is the next best thing. - Anthony Trollope

I don't like money, actually, but it quiets my nerves. - Joe Louis

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back. - Steven Wright

A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart. - Jonathan Swift

The best way to ruin a comedy is to throw a lot of money at it. - Jay Leno

Being rich is better than being poor, if only for financial reasons. - Woody Allen

How much money does it take to make a man happy? Just one more dollar. - John D. Rockefeller

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

Money can't buy happiness, but it helps you look for it in more places. - Milton Berle

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something. - Jackie Mason

If we were interested in making money, we wouldn’t have become teachers. - Robin Williams

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto. - Phyllis Diller

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. - Dorothy Parker

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

Tradition is what you resort to when you don't have the time or the money to do it right. - Kurt H Adler

Look within. Within is the fountain of good, and it will ever bubble up if thou wilt ever dig. - Marcus Aurelius

Keep your eye out for hot topics and trends. The media is constantly looking for timely stories. - Jim Kukral

The only reason I'm in Hollywood is that I don't have the moral courage to refuse the money. - Marlon Brando

Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have. - Ernest Haskins

All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one. - Homer Simpson

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is. - Oscar Wilde

Always remember money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense. - Earl Wilson

Modern poets talk against business, poor things, but all of us write for money. Beginners are subjected to trial by market. - Robert Frost

Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Retirement is like a long vacation in Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. - Jonathan Clements

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump