An elderly Ukrainian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Ukrainian perogies with fried onions wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.
With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. If not for death’s agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table was literally hundreds of his favourite perogies.
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his Ukrainian wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the perogies was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered man trembled on his way to the perogies at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a wooden spoon by his wife.
“Back off!” she said. “They’re for the funeral.”
It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse
The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb
Food is the most primitive form of comfort. - Sheila Graham
She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson
Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz
I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde
Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante
Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown
I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee
A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen
Smoke detectors are basically just you-suck-at-cooking detectors. - Julius Sharpe
I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright
Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander
Grocerise: To sell off non-perishable food articles through eBeh channels - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A joyful life is an individual creation that cannot be copied from a recipe. - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore
A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen
We need more young people involved in farming because the future needs real food. - Helena Sylvester
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben
Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon
I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where Sandwiches live. - Bill Murray
The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor
Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke
I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require as much cooking. - Carrie Snow
If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher
Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain
By eating many fruits and vegetables in place of fast food and junk food, people could avoid obesity. - David H Murdock
Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah
I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison
Malenutrition: The practice of depriving a man from food for more than a couple of hours - or during a football game - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller
If you carefully consider what you want to be said of you in the funeral experience, you will find your definition of success. - Stephen Covey
I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli
Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
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Ukrainian Christmas
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30-Jun-2022 |