Following the
Micro-Surgery conference in Chicago a few of the world’s top surgeons gathered at the bar
to brag about their successes.
After a few beers a British surgeon rose to address his colleagues. “Last year we
dealt with a chap who had been pulled into a printing press. All that was left was one
finger. Our team worked to build a new hand around the finger, an arm around the hand, and
then we grafted these to a body to recreate a man. He was back at work after 6 weeks, and
our improvements made him so efficient that he put 5 people out of work.”
Not to be outdone, a Canadian surgeon rose next. “Last year we were called to help
with a lady who had been bombarded by high intensity radiation at the Pickering Nuclear Generating Station.
All that was left was her hair. Well, our team used DNA slicing to recreate a head, and we
genetically engineered a torso and limbs and in 6 months she was ready to return to work.
She is now so efficient that she put 50 people out of work.”
The room was filled with oohs and ahs. For a while nobody moved. Then at the end of the
bar a man stood up. “I’m the head of the micro-surgery division at Kenya’s Coast General Hospital. 4 years ago, at a U.N. convention, I was walking down the street in Washington, D.C. when I smelled a fart. Well, I
gathered it up in a garbage bag and rushed back to the nearest hospital. My team was assembled and
we set about the task. We carefully built a bum around the fart, and added an abdomen,
chest, head, and legs. Eventually we created the United State’s President Barack Obama. And he
is so efficient that he has put the entire country out of work.”
Efficient Canadian Micro-Surgeons
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