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I'm a big laser believer - I really think they are the wave of the future.
Courteney Cox

Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.
Spanish Proverb

Fog is just clouds that have fell down.

When I die I want my tombstone to offer free WiFi, just so people will visit more often.

How I feel when there is no coffee? DEPRESSO

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick.
P.J. O'Rourke

Life is like looking for your phone. Most of the time it's in your hand.

Dear Monday, you should take a holiday. Trust me, no one will miss you.

Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee, and then after that still don't talk to me.

Without my morning coffee, I'm just like a dried-up piece of goat.
J.S. Bach

The funniest people are the saddest ones.

I'm not ill, my pancreas is just lazy.

Weekend forecast: crafting with a chance of chocolate.

You're only as good as your last haircut.
Fran Lebowitz

Let's commit the perfect crime. I'll steal your heart, and you steal mine.
Meryl Streep

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food.

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
Alphonse Allais

Some things are better left unsaid. Which I generally realize right after I have said them.

If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.
Ann Landers

An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?

Don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das not good.

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

The more you weight the harder you are to kidnap.

A zoo is a place of refuge where savage beasts are protected from people.
Gerald Lieberman

The best way to convince a fool he is wrong is to let him have his way.
Josh Billings

As to the adjective, when in doubt, strike it out.
Mark Twain

Where there's a will there's a lawsuit.
Addison Mizner

He does not own money whose money owns him.
St. Cyprian

Wherever I sit is the head of the table.
H.L. Mencken

The houses that he makes last till doomsday.
William Shakespeare

Her face was her chaperone.
Rupert Hughes

There is no such thing as a harmless truth.
Gregory Nunn

The present will not long endure.

A hundred wagonloads of thoughts will not pay a single ounce of debt.
Italian Proverb

Time is a great legalizer, even in the field of morals.
H.L. Mencken

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare.
Fred Allen

By yielding you may obtain victory.

Law of the Supermarket: The other line moves faster.

Suicide is confession.
Daniel Webster

Style is the dress of thoughts.
Lord Chesterfield

Rascality has limits; stupidity has not.

Fit yourself for the best society, and then never enter it.
John Ruskin

The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election.
Earl Wilson

At a round table there is no dispute about place.
Italian Proverb

A word too much always defeats its purpose.
Arthur Schopenhauer

Better never begin than never make an end.
George Herbert

What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness.
John Steinbeck

Among giants, try and be a dwarf; among dwarfs, try and be a giant; but among equals, try and be an equal.
Stanislaw Lee

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