Josh Billings Quotes from joe-ks.com
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All the honesty in the world ain't legal tender for a loaf of bread.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel.

The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large.

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.

Never run into debt, not if you can find anything else to run into.

I look carefully the second time into those things that I am most certain of the first time.

The best way to convince a fool he is wrong is to let him have his way.

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

One-half the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.

Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.

Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take.

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.

The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it.

A good way I know to find happiness is to not bore a hole to fit the plug.

Success does not consist in never making blunders, but in never making the same one a second time.
(also attributed to George Bernard Shaw)

In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us.

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.

Common sense the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.

Silence is one of the hardest things to refute.

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