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The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.

A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.

Always eat grapes downward - that is, always eat the best grapes first; in this way there will be none better left on the bunch, and each grape will seem good down to the last. If you eat the other way, you will not gave a good grape in the lot.

Neither irony or sarcasm is argument.

Silence is not always tact and it is tact that is golden, not silence.

The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.

No gold, no Holy Ghost.

Autumn is mellower, and what we lost in flowers, we more than gain in fruits.

A physician's physiology has much the same relation to his power of healing as a cleric's divinity has to his power of influencing conduct.

I do not mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy.

Life is one long process of getting tired.

If life must not be taken too seriously, then so neither must death.

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.

Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes.

Life is like playing violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.

Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise man to be able to sell it.

Is life worth living? This is a question for an embryo, not for a man.

As there is but one step from the sublime to the ridiculous, so also there is but one from the ridiculous to the sublime.

The advantage of doing one's praising for oneself is that one can lay it on thick and exactly in the right places.

I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions.

The Ancient Mariner would not have taken so well if it had been called The Old Sailor.

All progress is based upon a universal, innate desire on the part of every living organism to live beyond its income.

God cannot alter the past, though historians can.

All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it.

In law, nothing is certain but the expense.

You can do very little with faith, but you can do nothing without it.

Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises.

To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it.

Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.

A man should have any number of little aims about which he should be conscious and for which he should have names, but he should have neither name for, nor consciousness concerning, the main aim of his life.

Fear is static that prevents me from hearing myself.

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