| |
|
|
| The more holes this thing has, the less it weighs. What is it? |
Cheese with holes |
| |
| Why do cows have hooves instead of regular feet? |
Because they lactose |
| |
| Why are mountains so popular? |
They are hill-areas |
| |
| What is the only table you can consume? |
A vegetable |
| |
| What do you call a Communist sniper? |
A Marxman |
| |
| What was a mouth but never speaks; a bed but never rests; and can only run and never walks or jogs? |
A river |
| |
| What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? |
A waist of time |
| |
| I hear everything but I never speak. Who am I? |
An ear |
| |
| What is a comedian's favourite breakfast cereal? |
Cream of Wit. |
| |
| What kind of fear goes around the world? |
Hemisphere |
| |
| What is a sleeping bull? |
A bull dozer. |
| |
| How can you help a starving cannibal? |
Give him a hand. |
| |
| Why is getting up at five in the morning like a pig's tail? |
It's twirly |
| |
| Why is your nose in the middle of your face? |
Because it is the scenter |
| |
| What's the best thing to drink during a marathon? |
Running water. |
| |
| How did the man take the road less traveled? |
He changed his name to Les |
| |
| What does a library book wear whenever it leaves the building? |
A pager |
| |
| If carpenters measure with yardsticks, what do sailors measure with? |
Fishsticks |
| |
| What do you call a worried turnip? |
An edgy veggie. |
| |
| I have a ring but am not married. What am I? |
A telephone. |
| |
| Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? |
Minisoda |
| |
| My answer is only two words. To keep me, you must give me. What is it? |
Your word |
| |
| How do you turn a beagle into a bird? |
Remove the 'b.' |
| |
| What kind of nuts have no shells? |
Doughnuts |
| |
| What overworked firemen become... |
Burned out. |
also see this riddle in Riddle Sudoku @ suJoku.com
|
| |
| Which fish doesn't like to be alone? |
The grouper. |
| |
| When will water stop flowing downhill? |
When it reaches the bottom. |
| |
| I show a different face to everyone, but I have no face of my own. Who am I? |
A mirror |
| |
| What do you get from a pampered cow? |
Spoiled milk |
| |
| No sooner spoken than broken. What is it? |
Silence |
| |
| When the dish ran away with the spoon, where did they go? |
China |
| |
| What kind of food is sick all the time? |
Wheat germ. |
| |
If you put an income tax on income, and a property tax on
property, what kind of tax do you put on chairs? |
Thumbtacks |
| |
| I am larger than you can imagine, possibly without bounds. My last five letters name something found in poetry. What am I? |
Universe |
| |
| What can fill a room but takes up no space? |
Light |
| |
| What can pass before the sun without making a shadow? |
The wind. |
| |
| If the Pilgrims got to America on the Mayflower, how do foreign students get here? |
On scholarships. |
| |
| What do you find on very small beaches? |
Microwaves |
| |
| It's Stan's thirteenth birthday. This year, his family gave him a puzzle book. If every year before were the same, how many does he have? |
One - every year is not the same. |
| |
| Where should you take a damaged car? |
To a bruised car lot. |
| |
| What game is played by musicians? |
Haydn seek. |
| |
| What falls but never breaks, and breaks but never falls? |
Night and day. |
| |
| What time is it when five tigers are chasing after you? |
Five after One. |
| |
| Take one out and scratch my head. I am now black but once was red. What am I? |
A match |
| |
| Why is moon rock tastier than an earth rock? |
Because it's a little meteor. |
| |
| What is the greatest operation on record? |
Lancing Michigan |
| |
| What do you call a person who serves you meals in the water? |
A wader |
| |
| When does a black bird seek psychiatric help? |
When it's a raven maniac. |
| |
| What's a cardiologist's diet? |
If it tastes good, spit it out. |
| |
| How do you throw the best bash in the universe? |
Planet |
| |
| It's the season to which you add two letters to get this last name of Cincinnati's mayor in 1977. |
Spring and Springer. |
| |
| What's a sheep's motto? |
All's wool that ends wool. |
| |
| What kind of shoes do gas station attendants wear with dresses? |
Pumps |
| |
| What flowers grow right under your nose? |
Tulips |
| |
| What did the inventor of the first elastic girdle say when asked if it worked? |
'Of corset does!' |
| |
| When one does not know what it is, then it is something; but when one knows what it is, then it is nothing. |
A riddle. |
| |
| What is the least heavy place to live? |
In a light house. |
| |
| What's at the end of the world? |
The letter 'D'. |
| |
| How many civil servants does it take to change a lightbulb? |
50. One to change the lightbulb, and 49 to do the paperwork. |
| |
| What do you call a girl who lives in a pond? |
Lily |
| |
| What did Little Johnny answer to the teacher's question: "If can't is short for cannot, what is don't short for?" |
Doughnut |
| |
| What's big, green and can't fly? |
A field |
| |
| What goes all over the country but never moves? |
The road |
| |
| What can you keep and give away at the same time? |
A cold |
| |
| What do you call a lion with no eyes? |
A lon. |
| |
| (Do this in your head) Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. And another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total? |
Did you get 5000? Popular answer, but wrong! The correct answer is 4100 (do it on a calculator) |
| |
| What did the vegetarian tiger eat? |
Swedes |
| |
| What do the winners of a race lose? |
Their breath. |
| |
| How can a man go eight days without sleep? |
He sleeps at night. |
| |
| What do planets use to download music? |
Neptunes |
| |
| What kind of cup doesn't hold water? |
A cupcake. |
| |
| What do secret agents do for fun? |
They play catch. |
| |
| What is the smallest bridge in the world? |
The bridge of your nose. |
| |
| What do you keep even after giving it to somebody else? |
Your word. |
| |
| Why are surf boarders great gamblers? |
Because they know when to let it ride. |
| |
| What kind of books do mountain climbers like to read? |
Cliffhangers |
| |
| What is a grumpy salad made with? |
Lettuce alone. |
| |
| What did one flag say to the other flag? |
Nothing. It just waved. |
| |
| Where does a clerk put vile letters? |
In a vile cabinet. |
| |
| When do you go at red and stop at green? |
When you're eating watermelon. |
| |
| What travels around the earth without using a single drop of fuel? |
The moon. |
| |
| What's a sculptor's motto? |
All work and no clay makes Jack a dull boy. |
| |
| When is a Chinese restaurant successful? |
When it makes a fortune cookie. |
| |
| What would you call it if the sun never set from January to December? |
A light year. |
| |
| What's the quickest way to make anti-freeze? |
Hide her clothes. |
| |
| Did you hear about the patient who swallowed a spoon? |
She can barely stir. |
| |
| Where did James Bond live after he retired? |
In an old agent home. |
| |
| What says, 'Quick! Quick! Quick!'? |
A duck in a hurry. |
| |
| What gets wet while drying? |
A towel |
| |
| What do you call a woman who works for a lawyer? |
Sue |
| |
| Why shouldn't you insult a cat lover? |
You'll hurt his felines. |
| |
| What bird is the biggest coward? |
A canary because it's yellow. |
| |
| Why do your eyes look different after being to an eye doctor? |
Because they have been checked. |
| |
| When do mothers have baby boys? |
On Son-days. |
| |
| What's got a bottom at the top? |
A toilet. |
| |
| What kind of cat likes meat for breakfast? |
The sausage lynx. |
| |
| Why did the pirate put a chicken where he buried his treasure? |
Because eggs (X) marks the spot. |
| |
| What happened at the crossword puzzle addict's funeral? |
He was buried six feet down and three feet across. |
| |
| What happened to the magic tractor? |
It turned into a field. |
| |
| A man had 12 sheep. All but 9 died. How many sheep did he have left? |
Nine |
| |
   |
1 2 3 4 5 |    |
|
