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| What's an amoeba's favourite game? |
Divide and seek. |
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| What has been around for millions of years, yet is only a month old? |
The moon |
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| What do you call a girl with lots of suitcases? |
Carrie |
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| What do you call a man with a cable coming out of his ear? |
Mike |
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| What do you call a greasy pachyderm? |
An oiliphant. |
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| What was the speed limit in ancient Egypt? |
Sixty Niles per hour. |
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| What car runs on electricity? |
A Voltswagen |
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| What car can't stop crying? |
A Saab |
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| What does a ship weigh before it leaves port? |
It weighs anchor. |
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| What bulls hide on a riverbank waiting to charge at you? |
Bullrushes |
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| What person makes a living by talking to himself? |
A ventriloquist. |
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| What do you put into a barrel to make it lighter? |
A hole. |
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| What sport makes a lot of noise at night? |
Cricket |
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| How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb? |
Only one - they don't like to share the spotlight. |
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| What is hot all year round? |
Mustard |
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| Why is a tent like a baseball? |
They both have to be pitched. |
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| Where is the best place to look for a helping hand? |
At the end of your arm |
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| Why is the letter 'B' hot? |
Because it makes oil boil. |
corresponding 'Hot Letter B' puzzle @ suJoku.com
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| What has two eyes but can't see? |
An icicle. |
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| Do you know how long cows should be milked? |
The same as short cows. |
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| What's the best way to cure acid indigestion? |
Stop drinking acid. |
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| What paper makes you itch? |
Scratch paper. |
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| What is a briefcase? |
A short law suit. |
corresponding 'Briefcase' puzzle @ suJoku.com
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| What gets bigger the farther away you walk? |
Your shadow. |
corresponding 'Bigger Farther' puzzle @ suJoku.com
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| What's the center of gravity? |
The letter 'V'. |
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| What do you call a veterinarian with laryngitis? |
A Hoarse Doctor. |
corresponding 'Vet Laryngitis' puzzle @ suJoku.com
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| What is a prizefighter's favourite drink? |
Punch |
corresponding 'Prizefighter Drink' puzzle @ suJoku.com
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| What jam can't you eat? |
A traffic jam. |
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| What wears shoes but has no feet? |
A sidewalk. |
corresponding 'No Feet Shoes' puzzle @ suJoku.com
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| What makes music on your head? |
A head band. |
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| How can a man be 6 feet tall and short at the same time? |
When he is short of money |
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| How do you make a lighthouse? |
Use balsa wood. |
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| If a man smashed a clock, could he be convicted of killing time? |
Not if he could prove that the clock struck first. |
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| What do you throw out when you need them, but take in when you don't? |
Boat anchors. |
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| What is very light but can't be lifted? |
A bubble. |
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| What time is it when the number of minutes since midnight is nine times the number of minutes before noon? |
10:48 A.M. |
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| What holes are not holes? |
Knotholes |
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| How can 6 toothpicks have only 6 points? |
When you make 2 triangles out of them. |
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| What do you write joe-ks with? |
A puncil. |
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| What's quicker than a fish? |
The one who catches it. |
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| Why did the clerk move the calendar away from the window? |
Because it was a leap year. |
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| What crime is punishable if attempted, but not punishable if committed? |
Suicide |
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| What can you hold without touching it? |
Your breath (or a conversation). |
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| What do you call two people riding bikes together? |
Cyclamates. |
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| What do mummies wear on Halloween? |
Cos-tombs |
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| Why is a crossword puzzle like a quarrel? |
Because one word leads to another. |
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| A man took a chance and moved his car from Pall Mall to a hotel on the Strand. He soon realised that the move would bankrupt him. How? |
He was playing Monopoly and realised he didn't have enough money to pay the rent. |
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| When is an eye not an eye? |
When an onion makes it water. |
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| Give me food, and I will live; give me water, and I will die. What am I? |
Fire |
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| I'm mother and father, but never birth or nurse. I'm rarely still, but I never wander. What am I? |
A tree |
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What Does This Mean?
"Y Y U R Y Y U B I C U R Y Y 4 M E" |
Too wise you are, Too wise you be; I see you are, Too wise for me |
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| What's a seamstress's favorite piece of exercise equipment? |
A thread mill. |
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| What has a bottom at the top? |
Your legs. |
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| What is H204? |
Drinking |
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| What kind of bath can you take without water? |
A sun bath. |
corresponding 'No Water Bath' puzzle @ suJoku.com
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| I've got six arms, five heads, three eyes, and two noses. What am I? |
A liar. |
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| What can rise without ever sleeping? |
Bread |
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| What kind of bones are in an orchestra? |
Trombones |
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| When does a boat show affection? |
When it hugs the shore |
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| What English word is singular, but if you add an s, it becomes plural, and if you add another s, it becomes singular again, with a sex change? |
Prince: prince-princes-princess |
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| This was the first palindromic word. |
Eve |
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| What do you call a girl who has three boyfriends named William? |
A Bill collector. |
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| What kind of cake holds water? |
Sponge cake. |
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| What do you call a puppy that's no longer lost? |
A found hound. |
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| An electrician and a carpenter are shopping in a store. One of them is the father of the other's son. How can this be possible? |
They are husband and wife. |
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| What do you call an ant dictator? |
A tyrant. |
corresponding 'Ant Dictator' puzzle @ suJoku.com
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| What can knit without a needle and thread? |
A spider. |
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What's this recipe for?
Throw out the outside,
cook the inside,
eat the outside,
throw out the inside. |
Corn |
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| What keys won't fit in any door? |
The Florida Keys. |
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| Five frogs are sitting on a log. Four decide to jump off. How many are left? |
Five, because there's a difference between deciding and doing. |
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| Why is the shopping so good in Mexico? |
You only peso much. |
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| What is a broken down hot rod? |
A shot rod. |
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| A Doctor is about to operate on a little boy. "This is my son!" exclaims the Doctor. The Doctor is correct, yet the Doctor is not the boy's father. What is going on? |
The Doctor is the boy's mother. |
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| If a bus leaves from Vancouver to Calgary an hour before another bus leaves from Calgary to Vancouver, which bus will be closer to Vancouver when the two are passing each other? |
When the two buses are passing each other, both will be the same distance from Vancouver. |
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| Where do old bicycle tires go? |
To the old spokes home. |
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| Two men play five games of checkers, and each wins the same number of games. There are no draws. How can this be? |
Each man was playing a different opponent. |
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| What's the store policy at the Pirate Shop? |
"You buy it, you break it." |
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| What is more useful when it is broken? |
An egg. |
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| What kind of pet is found in cars? |
A carpet. |
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| I live above a star, but do not burn. I have 11 friends that do not turn. My initials are PRG. What am I? |
The number 7 on a touch-tone telephone. |
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| I am a rock group that has four members, all of whom are dead, one of which was assassinated. What am I? |
Mt. Rushmore. |
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| What's the difference between a cattle herder and a locomotive driver? |
One trains the steers; the other steers the trains. |
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| Where do boarders keep their winnings? |
In a snowbank. |
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| Bill drove all the way from Vancouver to Winnipeg without realizing his car had a flat tire, but arrived safely with four fully inflated tires. How? |
The flat tire was Bill's spare, which was in his trunk the whole time. |
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| What did the cereal say to the juice at breakfast? |
She proposed a toast. |
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| What do you call a woman who hates butter? |
Marg |
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| What do you call a girl who never stands up straight? |
Eileen |
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| Why did the singer climb a ladder? |
To reach the high notes. |
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| What do you get when a shellfish mows your lawn? |
Crab grass. |
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| This sorceress thumbs rides on brooms. |
A witchhiker. |
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| What do you call a hamburger's complaint? |
Ground beef. |
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| What's the difference between boogers and beets? |
Kids won't eat beets. |
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| What does Kobe Bryant store his cole slaw and potato salad in? |
Basket bowls. |
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| What fruit asks a question? |
What are melon? |
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| What is the longest word in the dictionary? |
Smiles (there's a mile between the two S's). |
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| What has many stories but no windows? |
A bookcase. |
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| What's a cautious caterpillar's motto? |
Look before you creep. |
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| Have you ever seen a line drive? |
No, but I've seen a ballpark. |
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| What are sleeping trees called? |
Slumber |
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| What do you call a handcuffed man? |
Trustworthy |
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